Advice on proper response

Question

ok So Im wondering who is right? yesterday my mother and I went to a bead show and we took my old baby sitter who treated me very well as a child and was always there and always very nice and helpful. This babysiter is probably one of the nicest people I know and over theyears has become a family friend coming to my highschool graduation and gave me a rather substantial gift for my college graduation along with very nice birthday and christmas gifts which all except graduation gift have been returned in kind with equally valuable gifts. now from a materialistic point of view we have maintained a very level and fair trade between the two families hers and mine. however since lateely over tha oast 8 or so years as I have become an adult we see her and her family occasionally and have become friends. Any way my mother wished for me to write her a thank you note for coming with us to the show and while I have no problems with writing thank you notes and find all this materialistic dueling to be juvenile I dont think this event warrants a thank you for joining us on this little hour drive to a show to which she had equal interest in attending as my mother who invited her did.

So what I am wondering do you think a thank you note would be in good taste for simply going to a bead show as mutual friends? Also it should be noted that I was not the one to initiate the invitation I welcomed it and enjoyed her company also my mother and her are of similar age so its not as if it was a teenage babysitter.

Answer 1

You can write her a nice note saying that you enjoyed seeing her and that you always enjoy her company.  You can comment on some particular bead-work that you saw and particularly liked (mutally or individually) and comment that it's always nice to attend such event with others who enjoy it as much as you.  If you do this as a note that simply says you enjoyed seeing her and spending time with her  you can avoid saying "thank you for accompanying Mother and me to the bead show".  It's a pleasant note without you feeling awkward about thanking her for something you don't see as requiring a formal 'thank you'.

Something like, "Dear __________,  I wanted to drop you short note to tell you how much I enjoyed seeing you and getting to spend some time with you on our outing to <insert name of bead show>.  Seeing the different artists work is always interesting.  I really thought the bead work of <name of artist or studio> was quite striking.  (you can insert other appropriate, 'chatty' and pleasant comment on the bead show) Close with something like "It was a lovely little road trip with two of my favorite peope in the world." (speaking of her and your Mother)...then sign off 'sincerely, Your Name.  

Answer 2

You mentioned that you graduated from college, so this means that you are an adult.  That means you get to make your own adult decisions now!  

It sounds to me that your mother is in a furious race to keep up with the Jones'.  I hate that kind of c**p.  Putting on aires!  Bluck!!

If you just want to keep peace, send a note.  No harm done.  Or tell your mother if she wants a thank you note sent, she could send it herself.

Ya know, it really sounds like your mother wants to make sure you end up in the lady's will or something.  Money: the root of all evil.

Answer 3

In that situation it should be your mom writing the thank you as she did the inviting.  I would probably just skip the letter and tell my mother that I sent it.  I'm a big fan of lying to my parents, but this is one of those lies that really doesn't hurt anyone.

Answer 4

Your mom should have sent her the thank you.  I personally don't feel that one was necessary in this particular instance.  

Answer 5

You could make your mother happy if you sent her a little note saying how nice it was to see her again and that you're glad she was able to enjoy the event with you.

That would not be improper and it might get your mother off your back. It might even make the babysitter happy. No harm done.