Advice on spacing children?

Question

I have an 8 year old daughter and a 13 month old daughter. My husband and I have been talking about when we'd like to have a third child (which will be our last). We are both working now, and I'll be starting grad school part-time this fall (just one class at a time). Some days I think it would be better to wait a few years before we try for a baby again, and other days I think I'd like to start sooner than later, because I don't want there to be a huge space between our younger daughter and our next child (like there is between our first and second children). I am still nursing our 13-month-old enough so that I still haven't resumed menstruation. I'm thinking that I may just let nature run its course, and I'll get pregnant when I get pregnant. But I also would like to make the best choice. Any suggestions from other mothers out there?

Answer 1

Consider a spacing of 2 years between births. Not so it is convenient to your schedule but the children are far enough apart in age to no be competitors in equal tasks. At the same time there is not a greater gap in age that they have nothing in common with each other. Your eight year old although interested in the baby at first will soon find here annoying. When she is ready for the prom the younger one is still playing with dolls. They are almost a half a generation apart from one another.

   It will help with the younger children's social bonding with each other rather than being aliens brought up in the same household.

On a related theme to weigh whether to have another child or not....  It is frustrating to older children to have new babies in the home and parents rely on them to "help out" while they pursue their objectives in life. It kinds of robs them of the  sense of being a child themselves when they immediately go from child to alternate parent #3. Hopefully your future plans don't make a non-paid babysitter out of the older daughter and let each one enjoy the right of childhood. This will avoid a longstanding resentment between the kids as they grow older for the sake of convenience. Just another part of the puzzle to consider in the whole scheme of life.

Answer 2

i think 2 years is ideal for the same reason mich did. it may drive you nuts, but i think you'll be glad you did. i think nothing is cooler than watching my kids play together.

Answer 3

I have a 7 year old and a 3 month old, I would also like to have 1 more.  We are planning to start trying when my son is 2.  Mostly because of our age I would like to have the 3rd before the age of 40.  It sounds like you have thought your options through and I would let nature take it's course.

Answer 4

My children are sixteen months apart. In the beginning it is a little hard but I really enjoy it. There will always be fights over toys and attention but they both seem to like the same things. It is easy to schedule activities, movies, games etc because they are basically at the same level. The bonus is that you can reuse alot of the baby stuff you already have out and our using. It is really up to you.

Answer 5

Just remember that if you have another girl, you'll have 2 weddings to pay for back-to-back. Just a thought!