Advice please for my friend whos neices are being?

Question

raised by an extreemly verbally abusive stepmother. my friends sister died suddenly a few years ago. leaving 2 small girls behind. they have just started school now. problem is their stepmother...who stands with my mates ina crowd is extreemly hateful towards them. they have behaviour problems now, due i think to her verbal abuse. today they kicked off in class when she came to get them from school. and she went ballistic with her threats towards one of them. my friend is heartbroken.. these are her dead sisters kids who are being treated so badly. shes afraid to make waves as she feels all her contact with her neices will stop if she intervenes with this foul woman. last week one of the girls tried to tell me about her mummy in heaven, and the stepmother told her to ''shut up and get over it'' i wanted to punch her face in. what can we do ?/ this woman is basically verbally mashing these poor kids.

Answer 1

I don't know how you refrained yourself when the stepmother told her to shut up and get over it. Ugh.

I don't really know your exact rights, but if your friend is financially stable- maybe she could keep the girls. She could just approach it like, "I see they aren't getting along with step mom so what if they live with me and visit you?" Then they could get it established by the court.

Answer 2

is ur friend willing to raise the, cos if she is then she cud tell social services, they mite let her have them if she can prove she can care for them better, but i doubt it (they tend to side with the parents)

sorry i cant be of more help

Answer 3

call child protective services... they will def. look into it... they have to by law

Answer 4

get proof of her abuse towards the children, my written statements of other mothers etc, record her with one of those tiny spy recorders, get your friend to ring social services and see what they say and get her to keep a log of all the abuse she sees the step mother give out. good luck

Answer 5

I THINK YOUR FRIEND SHOULD TALK TO THE FATHER OF THE GIRLS WHERE IS HE AT? IS HE NOT AWARE OF WHAT IS GOING ON? SHE NEEDS TO TELL HIM WHATS GOING ON AND LET HIM KNOW THAT SHE IS NOT HAPPY WITH THE WAY THIS WOMAN IS TREATING THE GIRLS. HE HAS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE HIS DAUGHTERS HAVE TO COME FIRST AND IF HE DON'T THEN MAYBE SHE SHOULD TALK TO A SOCIAL WORKER DO YOU THINK YOUR FRIEND WOULD WANT TO RAISE HER NIECES? IF SHE DOES SHE SHOULD GET A GOOD LAWYER AND TRY TO GET CUSTODY IT IS TOTALLY UNFAIR THAT THIS POOR GIRLS ARE TREATED LIKE THAT BY THIS PERSON.

Answer 6

if you don't think reporting this will do any good, then be there for them as much as you can.

listen to thier problems, care about them, show them that you love them and that they are worth loving. teach them through your behavior that they are special and deserve the best.

i know it has to break your heart to see them treated this way, it breaks mine to hear it, but you would be surprised how much the love of one person can change a child's life, even in the most extreme of circumstances.

Answer 7

These are your the kids of your friends' sister; she should DO something! By not causing 'waves,' she's allowing emotional abuse to go on, and---since her nieces no doubt know that she sees what's going on---they will resent her for it, later.

A few years ago, my brother married a horrible woman---who seemed nice, at first, of course---who was always telling my nephew what to do, what he couldn't do, and basically completely trying to change the lifestyle in which he'd become accustomed... I wasn't around her, much, but I was so sick of it (and for my brother allowing it), that I was going to finally have it out with her... Fortunately, I didn't have to; my brother woke up, and left her ***.

Really, this 'stepmother' should be ashamed of herself, for treating kids like this; especially ones who have lost their mother... Their father should also be ashamed.

Answer 8

This is so very disturbing.....

If your friend has the ability to care for her nieces and the money to petition to the courts for custody, I would advise her to speak with an attorney if he agrees that she has a case and do all she can to get these girls out of that home.

If she does not have the means to care for her nieces then all she can do is "nicely" offer to take the girls as often as she can and be a positive role model.  I was raised in a difficult abusive home but thank God I had access to other adult family and friends that were positive mentors in my childhood.

It's sometimes difficult to experience but good can come from a bad situation.  As I read this, I was grateful that these little girls have their Aunt and you, this is a blessing for them.

Good Luck To You

Answer 9

You can phone social services and give a hypothetical situation and get some general advice. You need not give your name and they are usually very useful.

Rubbish situation.

Answer 10

this is really a tough situation you guys could keep a close eye on the kids and the next time she starts threatening them try to video tape it or voice record it then call human services if she starts hitting the kids in front of your friend she is family and can legally restrain the step mom until police arrive you as a friend could help her obtain the evidence of the abuse if the kids ever show signs of beating like cuts bruises that stuff take pictures turn them in the more evidence you have the greater the chance of the step mom being put away now another part to this is if the evidence is there and the step mom is convicted and the father is found to "allowing" the abuse he can get the kids taken away then your friend would legally have the right to keep the kids (living relative)

I hope this helps this situation isnt fun my sister had to go through something simular her husband died and she got remarried and the step dad was abusive my sister didnt do anything fast enough and the step dad killed one child and she is sitting in prison

Its something that needs to be solved quickly!