Advice please help (LONG)??????

Question

OK so I'm 20 yrs old, in my 3rd year of college studying English & over the summer I met this Armenian guy for about almost 2 months. Needless to say, I thought he was a nice guy & that there might be potential until he pretty much told me that he drank, smoke, & wanted to marry me for a green card & I said no.

I told him I didn't feel the same way but I could be his friend. Then he started acting a little shady & kept making sexual innuendoes at me during our phone conversations. I told him that I wanted to wait until marriage, & that I don't drink or smoke (the smoking thing really bothered me)

My friend decided to play a prank on him & I pretended like I wanted to have phone s*x w/ him, I did it (stupidly). I think he was drunk when I was "doing it" w him because he kept laughing, it was only for about 10 mins.

The last guy I was talking to before this guy really hurt me (he didn't respect me & pretty much told me that if I didn't have s*x w/ him, he didn't want to hang out), I just wanted to end this because I really couldn't see this going anywhere & he called me twice today (I think for phone s*x again) & I told him that we were too different & on two different pages.

So what I'm asking is: did I do the right thing? I know the phone s*x prank was a little mean/confusing but he didn't respect me in the 1st place so I kind of wanted to put him in his place? Someone please help cause now I'm starting to overanalyze this.

PS-He called me 4x after I told him not to call me anymore (is that a sign?).

Answer 1

I think the prank did more damage to you than him.  Prank or not never put yourself in a position you do not want to be in.  You put people in their place by not letting them breech your boundaries period.  YOu know what you want and what you don't want.  Be good to yourself and stand up for yourself.

Answer 2

I agree the phone s*x thing was not a good idea.  I do think you are right not to marry a guy to give him a green card.  You should be applauded for sticking to your guns about not having s*x before marriage.  

Answer 3

You might have confused him a little with the phone s*x thing after saying you only wanted to be his friend.

Anyway, you know what he wants (green card) so don't be fooled by anything he says or does.  Don't answer his calls or respond to any messages.  You'll be saving yourself a lot of pain!

Answer 4

You really need to pull yourself together.

If you didn't think there was a problem here, you wouldn't be asking so many questions about it. It's clear he wants a green card and and that's no basis for anything genuine.

This is also going to destroy your study. Avoiding matters of the heart during study is more important than people think.

Stop this and move on. Or you'll end up regretting it, and your study will suffer. Your English is already suffering.

Answer 5

stay away from him, hes just too sleazy....

Answer 6

The phone s*x thing was teasing and leading him on.

Further.. you already said that he wants to marry you for a green card etc. Do you really want someone like that?

What is making you continue contact with him?

Answer 7

he doesn't get it because you are sending mixed signals to him (the phone s*x and other contact) and because he's trying to seduce you so he can marry you and get his green card.

you have to cut off all contact with this guy because he will view any contact with you as encouragement from you.

tell him to lose your number and don't call you again.  Then screen your calls, don't answer his calls, email or other contact.  hang up on him or walk away from him.