Advise Please, am I depressed or just still hurting?

Question

Please help me, last Friday i got so upset and so down in myself.

I am Engaged to the best woman i could ever wish to meet, she is my Best Mate & She is my Partner, to be my Wife.

I realised that i am holding back though within th relationship as i have been hurt by so many other women in the past.

My partner is so totally different than all the others but i just feel like i am unable to fully enjoy this relationship.

I have absolutely zero self confidence and think very little about myself, partly due to being seriously bullied through school and partly because of way other women have treated me.

Last Friday i ended up travelling around on Buses for about 4 hours because i felt so low and so depressed and just needed to get out and disappear, felt like just leaving everything and everyone, as they don't deserve me in their lives being a constant problem.

Please could anyone help and give me any advise as to how i could possibly over come the fear that my partner is going to leave me & break my heart.

Thank you.

Answer 1

It sounds to me like you're just unable to fully trust her because of your past.

Talking to her is your best bet, tell her that you're having a hard time and you feel like you're holding back in the relationship. Explain to her that you do trust her, but because of others hurting you in the past you feel as if you're putting up a barrier. She will understand and can help you, you just have to put some trust into her.

If you don't, it'll never work out.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

Step 1: Ensure your emotion is controlled daily. Don't over reacted, stay calm and don't get worry easily

Step 2: Think before your action. Don't repeat her past experience on herself. Remind herself from time to time.

Step 3: Be confident to yourselves. Remember everyone is the winner. "Only One sperms out of millions fertilize an egg"

Step 4: Get a group of close friends to share your experience and get some activities that would occupied your time

Step 5: Increase scope of life. Meaning that she should involve in more social activities like dancing, outing and others.

Step 6: Put a rubberband on the wrist. If there is a negative thought, Tighten the rubber band and release it. Hence the effect of the pain would be able to reduce the possibility of negative thought.

Good Luck.

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Good Luck.

You may read more articles of mine through

Besides, If you have more psychological problem, please write to me at

http://drgeorgeleow.blogspot.com/

Answer 3

You might be suffering from some form of depression. You should see your gp, who will be able to put you in contact with the right people.

Therapy will help you gain self confidence and teach you how to handle your fears.  Good luck

Answer 4

your best bet is to meet with a therapist.  you seem aware that you have a problem and want to fix it, so seek the experts!!  you don't want to lose the woman of your dreams because of baggage.  

if going to a therapist just isn't a possiblity, then go the the library or book store and get some self help literature on mending broken hearts, boosting self esteem, etc.

Good Luck and hang in there!!

Answer 5

you just don't feel like you deserve to be happy so you're trying,  subconsciously to sabotage your relationship. Until you increase your sense of self worth and internally feel deserving of happiness this problem will not go away.  

Answer 6

talk to her

Answer 7

First off I think you really should talk to a doctor because you do sound like you suffer from depression.  A lot of times it is a "trigger" a event or particular incident that brings out the depression and then it becomes a mental illness which needs either medication or counseling, or both. I myself have bi-polar so I do know what it's like.

This feeling could have all stemmed from past situations, but now it is time to let those things go and move on, you are not going to be able to do that on your own.  Talk to your fiance and explain your feelings. Let her help you through this. My husband was my backbone throughout my ordeal with mental illness, now I'm on medication and really enjoying life.

Good luck.  

Answer 8

not every woman is the same.. you are gonna have to ket your guard down and let this woman love you.....  if you fear your whole life that your heart will be broken, then you will never find love... give her a chance.