Advise on my rights and guidance about an absent father to my daughter

Question

Can any one offer any guidance on what I am to do.

I had my daughter in October 2005, her father left when she was about 6 months old. He is on the birth certificate. He left without discussing anything with me and I found out he had moved to Scotland somewhere and was not coming back. He met someone else and now has another child. He has seen my daughter once in 2 years, this particular visit was awful he would not answer his phone and it turned out he brought his new girlfriend on this visit without consulting me. He will not pay maintenance but wants to wonder into her life every 9 months or so and play daddy. Of course I have not let this happen mainly due to my daughters best interests. Recently as I have not agreed to meet with him unless he agrees to do the visits under my supervision, due to her not knowing who he is, and also that he pay maintenance, he just never turns up and this has been going on for two years. When I place conditions on him seeing her he has been threatening me via text messages. Everytime I have agreed to contact on the basis that it is consistent and he helps financially he never turns up, so I have just told him to leave us alone. Can anyone advise on what rights he has or any advise on how I should deal with him. It's driving me mad and causing stress.

Answer 1

I would bring this to family court.  Depending on where you are living he might be able to give up his rights.  I know is some states in the US if there is not contact after a certain amount of time it is considered abandonment and his rights are revoked.  I think you should keep to your guns on this one

Answer 2

If he does not pay maintenance the CSA can make him do so, or pay directly from his wages. This is of no direct benefit to you if you live on benefits (IF you do, the DSS will deduct his payments from your money. So if you get £100, he gives you £10, DSS will only give you £90 - a strange quirk of the system)

The CSA don't make absent parents pay if they don't see their child provided the reason is beyond his control, eg the mother moved out of the area or refuses to co-operate.

The more he has her, the less he pays, under the CSA formula.

If he goes to court for visitation he will almost certainly be successful, even if only supervised visits, and your objection to his girlfriend will be deemed unreasonable, unless there is good excuse based on her character.  Your relationship is over. You can't say he isn't entitled one. Your daughter is also HIS daughter, and seeing his girlfriend is no concern of yours.

Yes he has rights. And your daughter has a right to know her father.

You have no right making "conditions" he must obey, except for times of return etc. What he and his daughter do in his time is upto him, and I suspect this antagonism is what makes him flip and become abusive.

You should both try and grow up.

Him being on the birth certificate means he has "Parental responsibility" (unmarried fathers previously had to apply to court for this) - and it means he has a right to be included in decisions such as choosing a school. It also means you cannot legally change his daughter's name or let a new partner adopt her without his express legal consent.

Answer 3

For one....

Forget about him and find a different guy!! You need that!

For two....

Dont hide him from her. I know...I have met my real dad ever and i am 17. I found out when i was 10 that my dad now has adopted me. the worst thing about this is that i found out on my own!! that sucks

I've had so much stress these past 7 years...It does hurt so PLEASE dont keep him away...

About the whole paying up issue, That guy needs to grow some balls!

you can find a guy that will be her dad and take care of her!  

Answer 4

Well your rights are as is he is a dead beat father and yes he is on the birth certificate but that dose not gives him any rights on seeing her. If he moved and got married/found some one else then you have all right to tell him only under supervision. You can take him to court even with out him being there just make sure he is notified about the hearing. But you can take him to court for child support. If he refuses to do that then you can also tack on the visitation saying you want him to only see her under your supervision or not at all the courts will always be willing to work with the mother because of situations like this.

Answer 5

I kinda have a similar situation, my ex left me when he found out i was first pregnant, he disappeared without a trace till my daughter was 8 months old and then started demanding visitation rights. I though it was best for my daughter that she knew her dad so i agreed, she's now 15 months and he rarely visits, if he does he's hours late with no good excuse. So i think you have ever right to give him conditions, absent fathers shouldn't have any rights at all unless given them by the person he cares for his child day in day out. Why should they?? Don't look after your car properly, it breaks down, dont take care of a pet it gets taken away so why should a father be allowed to walk away from his own flesh and blood and be able to walk back in when ever it suited him. Take it to court and ask that they set out an agreement, he will have set times and set days and because your child doesn't know him you can ask that they be supervised either by you or by someone from social services.