Affair or fling should I?

Question

i am considering looking outside my marriage for an affair or one off fling....my husband did it to me , kinda think it will help me get over it better, whats yours views i am right or wrong? then i will feel equal to what he has done.

Answer 1

Revenge isn't the answer.

By doing this your making it seem like its "okay" for this behaviour to happen to him. Show that you are better than that, don't lower yourself to those standards. You have obviously forgiven him since you two or still together ( im assuming)..so if it happens again stand up for yourself and leave.

Answer 2

The old saying goes "2 wrongs don't make a right" I believe thats how its said.  

Do you want to do it to even things up, or is it out of revenge?

I dunno if its a good idea, but thats just an opinion.

Answer 3

Well, if you do it, then you'll be as wrong as your husband. You won't be any better !!

Answer 4

Two wrongs do not make a right. Let me tell you something. It won't make you feel any better. What it will do is make you look like a desperate lowlife  like he is. Do you want to stoop to his level? I would hope you would have more class than that. just because your husband is a dog doesn't mean you need to be one too. If he jumped off a bridge, would you do it too, to get revenge? GROW UP.

Answer 5

I would go for it

Answer 6

If you're not sure, then don't.

An affair is something that you cannot undo.

Think of it like a tattoo, something you've got for life. If you're not sure about getting one, then you don't do it right?

Sleeping with another person can't be erased.

Answer 7

Two wrongs don't make a right.  If you are thinking of having a fling or affair then you should start thinking of getting a divorce.  If you can't forgive in your heart then your marriage is over.

Either seek counseling or seek a divorce but seeking a fling isn't going to make it better, it will make it worse and you will only be prolonging the break up further down the line.

Answer 8

lol thats a hard one. But i always feel the need to get my revenge too. I'd have a fling with someone else! See how he likes it!!! =D

Answer 9

Right now you might feel like you want to get even, but its wrong.  Think of the long term effects it will have.  Obviously you have already chosen to stay with your hubby and work things out.  So you must still love him.  IT will take time to heal over the hurt you feel, but lowering yourself to his level isn't worth it.  You should never want to feel equal because you are above what he did.  Don't lower your standards just to get even.  It will not help you move on only make it worse for both you and him.  Right now honesty is important to rebuild the trust you have lost.  Talk to him let him know how bad it hurts and what you have been feeling.

Good Luck to you and your marriage.  It will take time to rebuild the trust.  

Answer 10

Two wrongs do not make a right.  Yes, you are wrong in looking outside your marriage.  You either have to forgive him and move forward or not.  It will not make you feel like you get over it better or that you are equal to him.  It would be a decision that you regret.  Besides, if you do it, who's to say he would forgive you and not divorce you.  Think about it.  Good Luck.

Answer 11

Stay married, or file for divorce.  But, forget about getting even by ch eating  Just because your husband was scummy enough to break his marriage vows, is no reason for you to aspire to become as scummy a person as your husband.  Hey, if your husband decided to get drunk, then hop in the car to go for a ride- would you figure that you too should go drive drunk, cuz it's not fair for your husband to kill some kids walking to school, unless you too get to run down a little kid.  Lady, end your marriage or stay with him.  But, forget getting "even"

Answer 12

DO NOT DO IT!!!!!! My ex husband said the same thing but when it comes down to it he really didnt want me to it was kinda a test. Well i didnt do it but if i had i would have been just as wrong as him even if he did it first. I wouldnt do it first off now you have the upper hand and he can never be like ohh she is a ***** and she did this because i did this and all that S**t. I also wouldnt do it just because you may catch feelings for the other guy im not sure if you would just go out and have s*x with any random guy or if you would get to no him. You also good catch something cause anything is possiable. The man might like having s*x with you and call you or try to get a hold of you all the time. Plus i no for a fact if you do this you are also messing up your marriage. You and your husband will be fighting about the whole intire thing. Dont do it!!!!

Answer 13

I don't think you should do it. If you want revenge or you want to feel equal- why did you even forgive him in the first place? Remember it was your choice to forgive him. Whats going to happen if you cheat, he finds out, and then he does NOT forgive you?  

Answer 14

Two wrongs do not make a right. Just because he did it doesn't mean you doing the same thing will make you feel any better. If you really love him and maybe he made a mistake, you should try forgiving him, and if you can't, then maybe think about telling him how much it is bothering you. Sometimes men don't know what is going on, and hints don't always work, so sometimes you just have to tell them straight out and simple how you are feeling. Good luck!

Answer 15

I wouldn't do it even though i know you are obviously still hurting over what he did to you...please think about the many consequences before you go ahead and remember 2 wrongs don't make a right!

Answer 16

No, you shouldn't have a revenge affair. You're hurt so this line of thinking in understandable. Decide first if you want to save your marriage. If you do, then go to counseling and try to work it out. If you don't, then divorce him now and be done with it. He made a huge mistake but that doesn't mean you should make one too by stooping to his level. Getting even by having an affair of your own is only going to damage your relationship further.  

Answer 17

Yes, some adventures may help to get over the problem in the marriage.  

Answer 18

What if you catch an STD from that one time?  Condoms don't always work.

Too risky.

Answer 19

Yes, start that game of "One Upmanship" and see how you feel about yourself in about 5 years.    What you really are asking is, "Should I lower myself to his standards?"    What you really should be asking yourself is, "Can I forgive him and move forward with this relationship?" If you can not answer that yes, then file for a divorce as the relationship is all ready over.

Answer 20

Two wrongs do NOT make a right! Don't cheat. If you can't get over his affair, LEAVE! Do not cheat...you're better than that!!

Answer 21

that's a tough one.

if you're having trouble getting over it after you've taken him back, then just leave.