Affair with a collegue - What do you think?

Question

Would like to hear stories of how peoples affairs at work have 'panned out'.

Bit of background:

I'm in a long term relationship, so is the other person (they have a family, I do not). The relationship is purely sexual, and has been going on for about 1 month now.

Answer 1

I think you should end it. Why are you even having an affair when you are in a longterm relationship with someone? If you are unhappy in your relationship then get out of it. This is wrong what you have done to your partner. I do not think she deserves this. You should end this affair and think about what you want in your relationship.

Answer 2

How do you feel about being a step-parent? Cos when this person comes clean to their partner (or found out), they have a lot to lose and will turn to you...

And will you just throw your hands up and say "Whoa! It was just a bit of fun!" and continue on your merry way?

You're hurting a LOT of people doing what you're doing... even if no-one knows it yet.  

Answer 3

If you are using your higher position to sexually manipulate a married man then hopefully someone will find out and you will be fired for sexual harrassment. In any case, what you are doing is morally wrong, and my guess is that it goes against the tenents of your company's business practices. Knock it off and get some professional help. This level of self destructiveness is pathological.  

Answer 4

Did you ever consider that you;re messing with someone's family?  How are you going to initiate something with someone who has a family?

I think the answer that a lot of people would give you is to stop.  Simply because what you're doing is not nice.

Answer 5

I don't get the questiong if you like being used why do you have questions unless you really don't like the way the situation is chances are you will start to have feelings and your heart is going to get broken because the guy has a family and this is more than likely not his first affair.

Answer 6

What are you nuts? Look at what you stand to lose (your job). Look at who you stand to hurt and tear apart (a family).  And for what a little hot s*x.  You are nut or just lazy.  If you can't find a single to satisfy your needs...and trust me they are everywhere...you're not looking. Stop that sh.t. Stop it now.  

Answer 7

I believe that you already know how this thing is going to "pan out". It's

a bad idea. I hope you end it before his wife finds out.

Answer 8

End it, only causes trouble, not worth it!

Answer 9

well, you got the good side of it cuz you dont have a family! but just dont let them find out cuz they will think youre a homewreckin hoe!  

Answer 10

best thing to do is to cut all ties, affairs not only hurt the spouse but sometimes the person in the affiar.u are being used, and nothing good can come out of this but heartache for all.

Answer 11

If you are in a higher position, you could be sued for sexual harassment, especially since you stated that you instigated the affair.

You need to end the affair.

Answer 12

people who have affairs suck.

Answer 13

Give this up before you get hurt, and before the other person realises what he's doing and dumps you, you'll probably have to leave your job over this.

Answer 14

You won't be in a higher position if you don't end it. Think about the Family not about yourself.

Answer 15

I have done this a few times in my life. Here are some tips. If you remain aware that it's just fun, you will have the time of your life. Do not listen to all these people talking about it will only end badly... blah blah blah, just like marriages, some affairs are good ones and some are not.

One, you should almost never decide to have your fck flings with someone you work with.

Two, Have fun... that's all it is and nothing more. Never forget that. Do not ever, replace this person with who you have at home.

three, Keep it short 2-3 months is about the shelf life of a good affair, anything over that will become very tricky. if you can't break it off after a couple of months... you fked up!

This is the price you pay if you want to play. Follow these rules and you should be ok for the most part. You already messed up though because you are fkng someone at work in a lower position than you... not very smart.

Answer 16

Been there, done that. got very hurt.

Went on for a year; we had known each other at work for about two years before anything happened. I was free; he wasn't. I instigated it.At first, it was daring, a bit of fun.

Then I relaised I had real feelings for this man. He told me he felt the same, but was not prepared to leave his marriage. I ended it after a year. He pleaded with me to reconsider; I couldn't. I'd just found out his wife was pregnant and I knew we had no future whatsoever on any terms.

A month later, he quit the job.

I see him occasionally, as we work in the same general locality, and there is still a spark there between us after all this time...ten years on.

Though I regret very few things in my life, that is one relationship I wish had never started.

Answer 17

you are messing with a family, go get some self esteem and find a guy of your own.