Afraid of change? Or just dont know how?

Question

I'm 14 and i suppose i'm a tomboy. I've been called one just about all my life. Nearly all my friends are guys and i have never been on a date or really flirted with a guy. I'm not worried now but i don't want to reach my senior year and never had a date. I hate makeup and skirts and pink. But i sort of want a boyfriend. Do i have to change to get a date? None of this a guy should love you for you c**p. I'm talking simply a high school boyfriend girlfriend relationship. Please help.

Answer 1

I know you said no 'a guy should love you for you' c**p.  but, seriously -- if you change too much, he wont be in love with you.  it will all be fake.  but, maybe you should try wearing a little make up or wearing some more girly clothes.  not necessarily pink, but something cute.  wear a little mascara and foundation and just bring out what you naturally have.  don't go overboard on the make up because thats not you either.  just highlight your beauty.  just change enough to get someone's attention.  I've always been REALLY not into make up at all and recently I was in a play.  in the play I had to wear stage make up and so I did.  I had a little eye liner on and mascara and blush and a little lip stick.  this guy came up to me and said "wow.  why don't you normally wear make up?" and I was like "cuz I hate make up" and he said "well, the 'natural beauty' thing is all fine and dandy, but you should know that you are just WAY more beautiful with that bit of make up on." (I didn't have all my nasty stage make up on yet, just the little bit that I do before the stage c**p) so later I wore it again like that and I got so many comments from guys that had never looked at me before, it was crazy.  just start with a subtle change like wearing more make up and then see how that goes.  don't change too much, cuz then you might just freak people out with how different you are so drastically.  

Answer 2

you dont have to become extremely preppy or girly,

just dont look like a slop who didnt even attempt looking okay before leaving the house.

Answer 3

One will come along...be patient. Stay yourself.

Answer 4

you shouldnt have to change for anyone to like you whether it just be friends or a relationship..you haveing to change who you are means people dont get you for you...ignore the stupid people...an awesome guy will come around hun..dont worry

Answer 5

You should be comfortable.  I'm sure you can find a guy at your high school that appreciates a tomboy.  If not then experiment with different styles. That's what high school is all about.  You might find that a skirt is comfortable.  Just try if you don't like it go back to the comfortable you.

Answer 6

Obviously, since you're only 14, you really don't need to worry about this now. And as far as finding a boyfriend goes, it's not necessarily about changing who you are and wearing make-up, but accentuating your good features. Looking like you care about yourself and your appearance is always attractive. Being confident and feeling comfortable with yourself are probably the most important things. Truth is, in high school, especially if you hang out with jock kind of guys, they may only be looking for a bragging-rights girlfriend. A lot of younger guys think too much about what their friends think of their dates, and it isn't until they get older that they realize that -duh- personality matters.

My best advice is to just find someone you click with, try a little flirting and maybe even make the first move. Just try to focus on dating a particular guy you like rather than dating for the h**l of it. Remember, just cause you don't have a boyfriend right now doesn't mean you'll go all of high school without one. And if you do, you'll still be okay, don't get down on yourself, have fun with life.

Answer 7

Well girly yourself up! Put on makeup, get a cute hairstyle and wear clothes boys will be attracted to. You'd be suprised how much they notice the difference.  

Answer 8

no matter what anyone says, dont change.

i am a 16 year old girl who isnt really a tomboy, but definitely not a girly girl.

i always wanted a boyfriend girlfriend relationship, but didnt actlly get anything till this year.

i had boys always chase after me though.

the boy that your interested in, just learn about him. what he likes and doesnt. make little tweaks to how you are to attract him.

Answer 9

friend,just be natural,be yourself.You are really doing quite well without a boyfriend.still you want a guy to be close with you find one who is comfortable with your tom boyishness.

Answer 10

OK I used to be a tomboy but now I am a complete girly girl. I didn't turn into a girly girl till I was about 19. And as for changing to get a boyfriend its out of the question. Just the other night I was sitting with my friend and he said "I love tomboys, I'm going to marry a tomboy. Their just to natural." So that goes to show that their are guys out there that like tomboys. Don't worry about it and wait for that right guy to come along!!

Answer 11

Maybe change would be good. Try on different things in stores. I bet you hate shopping, but if you fell you should change yourself, shopping is a must. Their are plenty of totally Ungirly-but-cute outfits out there. So go try them out!

For the make up part, don't sweat the small stuff. A lot of guys actually appreciate it when girls don't wear make up.

P.S. You have to like pink to be a "real" girl

Answer 12

Be true to yourself, but don't shut yourself off to growth.  Evolve, but don't take unsafe risks.

P.S.  Cute avatar!!!

Answer 13

why should you care about what other people think

but if you do want a relationship.. u shouldnt change.. find someone who will like you for who you are  

Answer 14

Guys love girls like you! Just smile and wink at all they guys that you like and most of them will smile and wink back. Those are they guys you would get to know. You will both pick each other not he or you, both of you. Hint: talk about your favorite things and interests!!! The best couple share a passion for a particular thing.

Answer 15

I don't think you have to change everything about you because you are who you are. You dont' have to wear makeup, skirts, or pink. Maybe you'll change naturally as you grow older?  

Answer 16

i was kinda the same way but then i started to show a little bit more of a flirty side with a couple of guys i knew really well and then one of them asked me once if i would let his sister give me a make over and she made me all girly but i hated it so now i'm kinda in between and i have had four boyfriends since =D  

Answer 17

Hey. Don't worry. I was a Tom Boy too. We are usually more successful in life. Do what you want to make yourself feel pretty, but take pride in being independent. Personally, I think the "natural look" is still the best. Don't be in a hurry to have a boyfriend. Friends are great. Boy friends come and go. Stay close to your good friends and enjoy life as an independent young lady. The right guy will come along when you aren't even looking for him.

Answer 18

lots of guys would like u how u are

its about if u like them back

Answer 19

Well if you have a low enough self esteem then ya go and change and pretend to be someone who you think is "better" and follow the crowd but you most likely wont be respected by your new hott boyfriend. If i were you I would stay the same and wait for the right person.  

Answer 20

the essence of life is giving up something you are for something you can become.

Answer 21

no, you shouldn't have to change, honestly would you even want to date a guy who didn't really know you? lame, i know, but true. I have plenty of tomboy friends, who only really hang out with guys, and they get dates. my advise is to flirt a little,so you don't get stuck in friend mode.

Answer 22

if you have to change to get a boyfriend, its not worth it. trust me... you'll just end up with some shallow piece-of-**** boy who wants s*x. be happy with who you are.

Answer 23

I'm a tomboy too; I'm 18, and I've only had one boyfriend. And he didn't ask me out, by the way, I asked him.

I think it depends though. Like, if you live in an area where people are really diverse and open-minded, you shouldn't have a problem finding a boyfriend, I don't think. On the other hand, each guy is different, so I bet there's someone in your school who would go for you even if you don't live in a diverse community.

I would like to add though, that I kinda tried to like girly stuff for awhile...and you know, it really wasn't worth it, it really didn't feel right. It just made me unhappy. So I would advise you not to change, even if you felt like it would make your chances better.

Answer 24

Don't sweat it  Guys love tomboys.  Be yourself and live in the moment.

Answer 25

IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU! I know sometimes that everybody worries every once and a while. I usually hang out with guys most of the time and really don't see nothing wrong it, mostly because girls are CATTY. I only went out with two boys(15) and never had a kiss. I really want a boyfriend too, so I know what you mean. You do not have to change to get a date. They should accept you the way you are!....Just be yourself, don't change for NOBODY!

Good Luck, Girl!

Answer 26

You're 14. Worrying about dating should be a non-issue.

I know you're going to think you're old enough, but adults might actually know a thing or two.

Answer 27

no, u shouldn't have to change for someone. I'm sure if you start liking someone, all you have to do is be yourself, and if they like you, thats nice, but don't change if they don't like you, thats their fault.  

Answer 28

I would say definitely DON'T change. If I were a guy and I met a girl and ended up liking her, then I would hope that I was liking the real her and not a front that she's putting up. There is, for sure, someone out there that will like you just for the way you are. The only thing I suggest is that you try to break out of your shell a little. Don't be afraid to talk and mingle. Make friends with as much guys as you can. Some may just see you as a friend, but who knows, you may run across that one guy for you. Hope this helps. =)