After 18 years,is it ok to contact an old sweetheart? Even if you're in a happy and secure relationship?

Question

I haven't talked to this guy in 18 years or so. I've been divorced and am now in a secure relationship. I just keep wondering what this guy is up to. Is it cool to contact him to say "Hi"? Or should I just leave him alone? What would you do? How would you react if an "x" contacted you after 18 years? It was a very innocent teenage relationship. Nothing big.

Answer 1

why the h**l not ? i'm sure your partner is fine about it, and i'm sure your ex would appreciate heaing from u again too.

Answer 2

I'm assuming you went 18 years without talking to him for a reason.  

Why is it so important to you that you speak to him now?  Especially if you are in a happy relationship?  

If you were good friends that lost contact one way or another over the years then I think it would be okay for you to get ahold of him.  However, it seems like you're holding on to something you should have let go of 18 years ago.  Maybe it would be healthier to leave him in your past where he should be.

Answer 3

You will find the answer to this question by asking yourself what is the motivation behind contacting this long lost person.

Answer 4

No it's not okay.  If you are happy, then why are you thinking about him?  

Answer 5

It depends on the other half of your "happy and secure relationship".  What does he/she think of contacting "an old sweetheart"?  How would you feel if your significant other contacted one of his/her old sweethearts?  If you wouldn't mind him/her doing it and if it's okay with your significant other, go for it.

Answer 6

Just act like it never happened, most times when this things occur old flames sparkle even if you dont want it to happen, specially if you are in a stable relationship, because if he treated u good in the past any type of trouble or arguement you have with your actual partner will make you see it as an excuse to talk to that old flame again. He will support you in anything if he still like u and when you are down for any reason is always good to have someone there to agree with u and take your side. Remember temptation is a b***h and sometimes is uncontrolable, you will be better off leaving that behind where it belong.

Answer 7

It would all depend on their current status.  Try and put yourself in your hubby's or partners shoes, how would you feel if he contacted someone from his past while he was still with you?  If in major doubt either don't contact or have a discusion with the guy you are with now, ask him for his advice.  Or better still if you know anyone who knew him at the same time as you, and still knows him or about him espec if they are female ask them for info on him.

Answer 8

While it is natural to wonder what he's been up to...don't contact him.  

As Barbara said, it depends on your reasons.  You're divorced and in a secure relationship with somebody else.  Clearly your ex is on your mind this often because you have some feelings still there.   It sounds like more than simple curiosity.

He might be married or seeing someone.  I personally wouldn't do it.  My husband's high school reunion is this month.   He has not seen or spoken with his high school girlfriend in 20 years.   He isn't sure whether he wants to attend the reunion or not.  He did express an interest in seeing her.   I took it as simple curiosity, although I was a bit hurt.   After all...he did have somewhat of a sexual relationship with her when they were teenagers.  

It is different in your case but I still advise you against it.