After 4 years, How does someone just stop loving you?

Question

I have been with him for four years and we have had our ups and downs and our occasionally fights like every couple. He purposed to me after we dated for a year. We got a house together but we never made it down the aile because of bills. We constantly fought about bills, how I felt he didn't help around the house, and how we didn't spend quality time together. The arguments were about every 4 months but I felt that I didn't love him any less. I was angry with him sometimes for things he did but my love for him made me want to work at things. This time we fought again about the same things but now he was telling that we should go our separate ways and that he wasn't in love with me. Did I do something wrong?

Answer 1

You didn't do anything wrong. if he doesn't love you now, he never loved you. And if he does still love you, it's probable that he never was "in love" with you.

Answer 2

I’m sorry but this is a question that just can’t be addressed with a black or white answer. There are so many things that go into making a lasting relationship. BOTH people HAVE to be committed to it. BOTH have to be willing to sacrifice for each other. It just sounds like he wasn't in it for the long run. There are phases that we go through when people are in love. First there is that love that you experience when you first meet and you are “all into each other” you can’t keep your hands off. Then it sort of cools down and becomes less intense. You become more comfortable with each other and you settle into a more complacent attitude. Then you get to the point that unless BOTH of you are trying to hang on by doing and caring for each other that love can slip away. These three phases can happen over a long period of time or happen very quickly. I can speak first hand. I got a divorce after being married for 25 years. I can look back now with 20/20 vision.

Answer 3

It's not the love that quits.....it's the caring.  And it takes hard, hard work to get the caring back.

sugar

been married 25 years through mighty hard times and wonderful good times!

Answer 4

real simple, as people get older they change, for example a person is seldom the same way they were when they were 12, as each yr progresses they develop different interests, hobbies, etc

so the same way applies here, you guys just grew apart, it happens, and it's not a bad thing, its called life

Answer 5

they have quit working at the marriage and dont care.

Answer 6

The only thing you did wrong was pick this half a man to give your heart to. He doesn't care about your feelings. If he did, he would do some dishes and clean a toilet a few times a month. Kick his *** out. Sell the house or one of you buy out the other at market value.

give him what he wants. why would you want to be around someone who doesn't love you or cared enough to maintain his love for you??

Answer 7

You should ask this advice at Jamrie.com

People on the website, should help you out.

Answer 8

some people can't handle a relationship when it gets bad...i had a boyfriend once that would leave for days without telling anybody and then just show up thinking everything was ok...we would fight about bills he would leave...we would fight about his kids and he would leave and i just had enough and although i loved him i realized that i could not change him and so i left ......maybe your boyfriend felt that things were worse than you felt and maybe he thought they couldn't be fixed......have you tried talking to him since to get his view on what happened

Answer 9

His love is weak. There is no passion and understanding between you two. The sound of clapping can be made if two hands work together.

Answer 10

People just grow apart & the stress of money & the constant fighting NEVER make a realtionship stronger just more damaged.  Take a break from him & REALLY THINK if this is the life you want to live? Good luck!

Answer 11

Well I don't think you did anything wrong at all! Mabe you guys were just not meant to be . Well everyone has there ups and downs but once in a while if your in a relasinship with a guy, it's ok if you have a couple fights once in a while it kinda helps the relahinship most of the time. well mabe after 4 years he just didn't have any feelings fo you anymore.

Answer 12

LIKE I TOLD MY DAUGTHER,THE MRE A PERSON FIGHTS WITH SOME 1 YOUR ONLY PUSHING THAT PERSON SO FAR AWAY FROM EACH OTHER,BUT IF U BOTH REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER,THEN DON'T 4 GET THE LOVE THAT BROUGHT U BOTH 2 GETHER.