After almost 8 yrs together, we're thinking of getting hitched

Question

Its a 2nd for both of us, he wants it big and formal (I think that its inappropriate) I want a outside party, pig roast and kegs.

What do you guys think?

PS-were both in mid to late 40's

Answer 1

It's not inappropriate to have a formal wedding, if that's what you want.  A second marriage is not less important or any less special than a first.  It might even be a happier event in some cases.

If his desire for the formal wedding is for religious reasons, I'd suggest honoring that, then instead of a formal reception, go for the picnic.

And you can get a more simple gown for the wedding ceremony, instead of a big flooofy gown.  They have some really nice, white, ivory and cream dresses for like $100 you could find.  Then maybe you won't feel odd at the ceremony part.

Answer 2

go for the pig pickin!!!!!!! it would be a lot more fun!!!!!

Answer 3

Your idea sounds better

hope you guys have fun

Answer 4

I don't think its inappropriate.  It may be a second wedding for you both but it's a first wedding between you two.  Why wouldn't that deserve a big wedding as well?

That said, try to figure out a middle ground.  Remember that this event isn't only about you and it's not only about him.  Maybe you can do a formal ceremony and a more casual reception? Or a casual ceremony and a formal reception? Or you can do a buffet which will feel more casual but still be formal?

Answer 5

Personally I think your idea sounds great, but it is also sweet of him to treat it as no less important than the first time.

You both need to be happy with the decision, so talk it through with him, let him know your idea of an outside party with pig roast and kegs if you haven't already. Hopefully you both can come to a compromise.

Personally I think your

Answer 6

Compromise.  Instead of big and formal, what about small and semi formal or an outdoor wedding that's still formal and have the party still. I'm sure there's middle ground somewhere.  

Answer 7

Could you maybe do both? Having a formal ceremony and then a great party afterwards. You could always do the ceremony in the morning or early afternoon and then later in the evening have the good outside party, so people can change clothes for the BBQ and not feel so stuffy.

Answer 8

big and casual= compromise!

Answer 9

It's sweet that he loves you so much that he wants to celebrate with a big wedding.  

Why is it inappropriate to have a big wedding?  This relationship doesn't deserve a wedding just because you had a previous relationship?  You made mistakes in the path but that doesn't mean that they should haunt you forever.  

I would suggest finding a compromise.  Maybe an intimate ceremony at a fancy location with a huge party afterwards.

Answer 10

I like your idea. Fun, cheap, and appropriate.