After cheating from me and lying from him. can it still work?

Question

i cheated on my boyfriend because i wasn't sure about him (he lied about still being friends with his ex). he went through all my personal things (emails, aim, etc) to "catch" me in the act. he invaded my privacy. that really hurt me. i know what i did was wrong but the way he handled things make things even worst. now as i try to patch things up, I am very hurt and so is he. he is taking time away from me. he is falling out of love. i am hurt also. now what?

Answer 1

obviously a lack of trust there from both of you. the cheating made it worse. i really dont think you should continue this relationship. if you do, it will only get worse. there is little love and no trust. do yourselves a favour and say "sorry" and "goodbye". sorry but its for the best.

Answer 2

This may sound kind of corny, but I do believe that real love lasts, so my answer would be that if there is real love, you'll end up together.

Answer 3

Hang it up, it sounds like you both have to grow up.

Answer 4

I was the liar and she was the cheater. I was disillusioned that she was the only one for me. That I couldn't get any better. She was okay in the looks department, and for me and my self-esteem issues I thought, "being overweight all my life and having no attention paid to me by girls, that she's the best I'll ever get." After the first two times she cheated on me and I caught her, I lied and told her that I had a friend that checked up on her. Kept her straight for a couple months, then I acquired her e-mail passwords and found out she was thinking about it again. Told her what I had heard. She held off. Posed under different screen names on AIM to provoke her into cybersex, which she took me up on. The look on her face when I showed her the transcript. Then after literally MONTHS of deliberation about whether or not I should leave her and how, my sister's friend (now my wife) and I hit it off and I fooled around with her. It was my way of justifying why I needed to get out. I told her about it and she was like, "I forgive you. I've done it too." For two years it went on and that night I gave her the words she thought she'd never hear. "Sorry, not again. . ."

Answer 5

Everything has consequences, just learn that when you love somebody you treasure them. You didn't respect your ex. There is no magic to erase what you did.

Your ex boyfriend had every right to find out the truth so don't say he may things worst.  Let him go, in his book you are not to be trusted.  

Answer 6

If he cheated on you this time he will do it again and again. There are better fish in the sea. Let him go . Yes the hurt will be there but, is better to fall in love with someone who won't cheat on you.

Answer 7

Okay, this isn't what you want to hear but you screwed up. He wasn't allowed to be friends with his ex? But he didn't care if you hung out with the sort of guy who would sleep with a girl he knows is taken? Yeah, he invaded your privacy, but you ask him to stop! You don't decide "well, he thinks I'm going to cheat so now I'll let him find evidence of what he's looking for! Now i'll get him" No. that is stupid and immature and you shouldn't be in a relationship.

Also, if you look back, surely you can find a reason for why he may have worried that you were going to cheat on him...

And one more thing.....this guy is obviously a really great guy and obviously cared about you (given that he is even considering taking you back....I can't believe you cheated on a guy like that.

In the future, use your words because as twisted and wrong as what he did, was out of a desire to stay with you, motivated by love. What you did was motivated by a desire to get back at him.

My advice to you is to beg for forgiveness and change. My advice to him, would be to only consider remaining friends with you. For your sake, hopefully he doesn't read this.