After having a baby is it really worth going back to work, especially if ur a single mum?

Question

my lil boy is 9 days old now and the thought of leaving him with someone else when i go back to work worries me! i am currently on maternity leave from work. and due to this im only getting £400 a month now. which is not enough to live on. my sister has a three year old daughter and she is on benefits. and she seems to get more than i do when i get full pay. being a single mum i know it will be harder just on my income. why does it seem so much easier to stay at home? am i being selfish thinking about going on benefits? is there any SAHM that have made this decision? thanks

Answer 1

you should deffinitly do back to work wait a  month or two .

£400 isn't enought to live on now you have a child you need all the extra money you can get.

Answer 2

personally, i would stay at home. i have just been off work for 3 wks following a miscarriage. i have worked through having my other 3 children. being off for 3 wks has made me realise what i have been missing out on. my children are 7,6, and 22 mths. we are trying for another baby now again, and i cant wait to get pregnant, i am not going to go back to work this time. i am going to retrain as a teacher so when the new baby will be starting school i will be able to go back to work and be there during school hols. i really didnt realise just how much i had missed until i spent 3 full wks with them, but it has got to be your decision. congrats on your little treasure hun x

Answer 3

well.. my mum kinda is the same yet she isnt a single mum and she earns abit more on maternity, shes thinking of not going bhak, but i think leaving a baby in a nursery makes them have a bond better with the people there then spending time with its family, i would say stay off for longer untill you think hes old enough to go to nusery and go and find a job then or go bhak to work.

x

Answer 4

It's all about self respect really. If you can reconcile sponging off the State then stay at home. If you want to give and contribute something to people less fortunate than yourself then go back to work.

Answer 5

Well, I think that you should go to work, because you're the only person supporting your baby and  you. Try getting a family member or close friend to watch your baby. And if push comes to shove, you'll have to get a baby sitter. But if you don't go back to work ever, how will you afford anything?

I'm pregnant now and am going to be a single mom. I'm living with my parents and I'm 19. I'm getting a job asap 1 month after I have the baby. I have to.

Answer 6

the thing is though if you just dont go back to work, you cant just go onto benefits as you gave up your job, I think there is a 12 week penalty period,  you would need to take your full maternity leave with your employer, then hand in sick notes or something or get sacked, to get benefits straight away. I went back to work 9-5 mon-fri when my little boy was 5 months as I was so skint, his dad looks after him during the day and works part time evenings, we decided I would work full time as I had the better paid job, its hard work but that goes with having a family and providing for them the best you can, it was a hard decision to make and if we didnt need the money I wouldnt work! I wouldnt like to leave my son with a stranger but if hes with a family member then that would be fine, you should work part time gets you out a bit and tax credits will top you up. You shouldnt even be thinking about having to return to work, just pay what you really have to and just enjoy the time you have with him and worry about work in a few months time, honestly lots of mothers work they are not bad parents and its nowhere near as hard as what you think it will be

Answer 7

It is def worth it, if you are single parent then you are entitlled to tax credits which pays 80% of childcare.  Im single mum to 2 kids & will be going back to work when my maternity runs out.  Im a strong believer that unless exceptional circumastances ie child is disabled then you should go back to work.  You get so much help with tax credits now.  My friend works 16 hours & still gets some housing paid for her.  You are better off working most def. xx

Answer 8

Obviously because then you support your child instead of me and why should I support your child?

Lets hope at the next election we vote for a party that makes parents support their own children instead of sponging of those of us who do work hard.

Answer 9

he obvious answer is that the father should stump up with money to help you out.

I know it is very hard to go to work when you are a single mum, especially if you are unable to rely on support from family etc.

Financially, you have the cost of actually going to work, fares, petrol, shoes, lunches, tights, work clothes etc etc, but you also have the cost of child care which can be pretty steep. Time wise it is a big rush to get yourself and baby ready in time, then allow extra time to drop baby off with the minder and the reverse on the way home. Shudder.

Many people say that a young baby should be with it's mum for the first few years. I worked when my baby was 11months old. Came home to find her with a deep red wheal in a ring around her bottom where she'd been made to sit on the pot for ages and ages. That was the end of that,

Really, you never know what's happening when you're not there.

Sorry not to be more positive. Still you don't have to decide yet, do you?

Answer 10

I would take maternity pay, don't go back to job, claim income support until you feel able to work and your little one is older and you feel able to leave them if that's school , nursery, childminder, or family.  You will get a a good rate of tax credits if you work 16 hours or more.  Do what is right for you and your little one. There is a lot of help out there look on the gov website.  

Answer 11

Its hard to leave them! I would stay home in a heart beat if I could. But, we cant live on my husbands income alone. Its up to you... It does seem like those who dont work have more....

Answer 12

Oh yes, it is - definitely! If only for your self esteem, for your own further development, also for the pride you will feel if you support the two of you single handed.  

You must think way ahead when your new baby grows into a young man, he himself will then be proud of you, and even more important he will want to work, and not rely on hand outs!

Could you leave him with your sister to look after, do you trust her enough to look after him well, keep him away from smoke and such, take him out into the fresh air? Then you could come to some arrangement of paying her for minding him.

Also not to be forgotten the thought of a new partnership for you - any man who himself works would rather have a girlfriend /wife who lives as you will if you follow this advice.  

I wish you all the best, it won't be easy, but it will be rewarding, believe you me.

McGonagall  

Answer 13

Do what you think is best - a lot of mums would stay at home but the financial pressures too much - only you know your situation

Answer 14

to be honest no its not worth it being a single mum is hard enough, contact your local council and ask them for the benifit info. im a single mum to be i have alot of qualifications but i cant afford to go to work and pay for everything including my home, tax, food and everthing else.

you will feel so close to your baby at the moment but trust me when you get to spend time with your baby its great. take her out for long walks or to mammy and baby swimming classes. its less stress and much helpful. good luck and congrates

Answer 15

live on benefits like all the skivers

Answer 16

Once you go back to work you will be getting family tax credit as well as your wages which will bump them up. also you will get help with child care costs. so financially you should be better off than you are now. it depends if all this is worth leaving your baby. its for you to make the decision

Answer 17

if you're worried about your kids, you may go to work but install security cameras and you may see them from work and if anything bad happens you could go straight home or call the police or maybe call the babysitter!

ya know that Siobhan is my middle name!! good name...good name

Answer 18

Look at what you have. I had a spare room which I let out...that helped me stay at home...Also, work looking after other people's babies/small kids? Could you do that? I agree, the benefits route is one option, and personally, I'd take it short term, as I think it is essential to enjoy the early months with your child...Money isn't everything!

Answer 19

You will be much better off going back to work. After working staying at home with your child all day will drive you mad.

Answer 20

Hi there..

I live in New Zealand and im not sure if you get this in the UK but im a early childhood educator and i do this in my own home..its alot of fun and i get paid. I use to work evenings in a supermarket coz i wanted to stay home with my child in the day..now i stay home with my son and earn money..tell you the truth i earn double what i use to if not more. Maybe you can find out if you get home based child care in the UK too. Worth a try id say.

Godd Luck to you..  ;o)

Answer 21

childcare inthe uk costs as much as 150 pounds a week...more than a private primary school! Unless you are a high earner stay with your baby...in 4 years he will be at school and you can work then..,good luck!