Again revised poem, what do you think of it

Question

This is a poem about depression. Need help with a title.

Trying my best to breath

Just far too miserable to scream

Please let this be a dream

Gotta count my own heart beat

Held down by anguish chains

And all the footsteps in my brain

You stole the rest of me

Wake me up when I'll be free

The clenching fingers strain

Blocking the sorrow in the veins

These promises and shames

Just thud and rattle down the drain

My one and only need

And everything I once believed

You took it all from me

Then say I’m crazy

I hold on tight to love

Praying there’s something left above

Why can’t I seem to see

The answers right in front of me

I’d like another shot

But that just isn’t what I’ve got

So walk away from me

And please, just leave me be

A passing rain of tears

To contemplate my greatest fears

Has come on into play

Why did my life end up this way

Why cry into the night

Knowing I just can’t win this fight

Must be the price to pay

Cause’ I’m fading away

Answer 1

pretty intense but no need to revise again!  you express emotion and at the same time able to keep structure throughout. that's talent!

Answer 2

Aha Lol I love your poems more! They are so good!

Answer 3

The depression and the heartache in this poem are dramatically clear and heartbreaking.  There are so many gifted lines, any of which could be used as a title..."cry into the night", "anguish chains" etc..  I suffer from depression myself and can really relate to these words—you touched my heart with this poem.  Thank you.  

Answer 4

Pretty sad...but thats the genre I write in too. Oh, and its brilliant, so there's no need to revise it again!!