Again...with the designer (wedding, etc) labels...?

Question

Once again...stemmed from a previous post...

Why do so many people think that if you have and/or want good quality things then your priorities are wrong and your marriage will fail/start off on the rocks??

Just wondering if anyone ever stopped to think that some people worked their tails off to get where they are in life and with their careers, and if they want the good jewelry and better wedding dresses, they deserve just that...

Just because one knows what good quality is (and, oh my gosh, likes it!!), does not automatically make them a materialistic person. Maybe it means that they were better exposed and have more life experience to know that all shirts/jeans/jewelry/art work/cars are NOT created equally.

If I was to write about having a backyard reception at my double-wide and have cigarettes and banker's club as favors...which color should my plastic ware be? No one would make the judgmental remarks that they do if you bring up the high end items.

Why is wanting the best viewed as a bad thing? Would it not be ridiculous to NOT want the best in life?

Answer 1

Just because it is the most expensive or designer does not mean it is the best quality.  I have bought some upper end items that fell apart in weeks.  I prefer handmade items like the dresses linked below.   There are so many stunning dresses that don't cost thousands on that website.  

Answer 2

OK...your better than the rest of us

Are you happy now?

Good grief!

Answer 3

The problem isn't with having the "best" of dresses, rings, receptions, etc. - it's the having of them to the detriment of their daily lives.  I have a friend who wouldn't carry a non-designer handbag if she were stranded on a desert island.  Her credit is terrible and and she accepts dates with men she thinks are "icky" just to get a free dinner because she is broke.  But she somehow finds a way to scrape together enough cash for a new Louis, Chanel or Prada every year or two.

Sure, it makes her feel good.  But in the end it's just a batch of material sewn together that holds c**p.  The label on it merely serves to boost her self-esteem, and the fact that she feels her self-esteem needs more of a helping hand than her credit rating is where I see the downfall of this thinking.

There are some people who can quite comfortably afford the best of everything.  Spending $10K on a gown is chump change.  Those people are in the distinct minority.  Interestingly, those people also seem to be far less likely to have to say, "It's a Vera Wang!" or "It's from Harry Winston!" than those who had to make some steep sacrifices in order to feed their egos.

So, yes, it's OK to want the best in life -- that you can manage comfortably.  If people choose to make dumb choices in order to make themselves feel good about their superficial worth, then they should learn to shut up about it.

Answer 4

I think you may be taking answers the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with wanting good quality things in life, it is the fact that people believe a NAME or label makes something high quality which is by far not true. Also if you have to work your butt off to have those things then yes working your butt off to have those things means living beyond your means hence not having priorities straight. I will not work 20 hours of overtime in a week to buy a three hundred dollar pair of jeans because a label is slapped on the back of them that makes them seem better when I can buy something just as nice for a third of the price.

There are certain things that I will only buy higher quality because I have had good experiences with but have had just as many good experiences with some other things of a lesser name.

I was given a Coach purse because there is no way I would pay the money for one of those. To me it is just ridiculous, just one of those things I don't believe justifies spending that much money on. 2 weeks later that stitching came apart on the strap. Now something that is supposed to be of such great quality shouldn't fall apart like that. Now my el cheapo purse I caught on sale at Dillards for $30 has been holding up just fine for the past 6 months.

SO the point is a name does not make something better. Now the three hundred dollars I will not spend on a purse, I will and have spent on sheets for my bed. Some people would think that's crazy to spend that much on sheets. But going to bed everynight is just wonderful on my sheets. So you see we all have different priorities in life.

Financial issues are the #1 reason for divorce. So when life sets in... mortgage, car payments, insurance, kids... many things couples do not have when they first marry, things will turn rocky when/if they hit financial hardships because  they can no longer have those high end items all they want. Some people just don't know how to sacrifice when they have been long accustomed to only high end items in life.

If you are wealthy and can afford everything you want and will always be able to, then great for you. Just some things in life are not that way for everyone, even those who work their butt off.

A name does not make something the best either.

People of all walks of life get judged, those with money and those without. It is the people in life that look past any differences and see a person for who they, not what they have, that leads a successful happy life.

Material things do not make life happy. :)

Answer 5

Personally, it doesnt make a difference to me at the slightest who wears what to their wedding. I don't care if you're wearing Vera Wang or a Garbage Bag.... not my decision to judge what people wear, and not in my nature to care either.

Answer 6

I beg to differ.  I think it makes you very materialistic.  Why do you have to have the best wedding dress.  It looks foolish if you pay a ton for a wedding dress that you are only going to wear once or to pay alot for the jewelry.  In my opinion people just do that so that they can brag about how much they spent.  I am frugal and very smart with my money.  I want to get the most for my money especially with the way the economy is now.  People like you don't impress me in the least. Do you think that you are a better person if you have more money? That is what it sounds like.  Get over yourself.  

Answer 7

Unfortunately, people are judgmental in this world.  It's sad, but true.  Sometimes people are jealous of the nicer things that other people have but they can't have, and to make themselves feel better, they have to put down the "haves."  As for myself, I work as a bridal consultant, I've seen brides walk down the aisle in everything from a $100 gown to a $15,000 gown, and you know what?  Every bride I've ever worked with is deliriously happy on her wedding day.  She's marrying the man of her dreams, and it shouldn't matter to anyone else but her if she's doing it in a Vera Wang or a KMart special.  

Answer 8

I don't think you "deserve" name brand labels. No one does. It is simply a choice you made. It is your money and you decide how to spend it. If people's comments are bothering you that much, maybe you are feeling guilty about something? Also your comment about trailers and backyard receptions makes you seem a bit snobbish. :/

Just because something is designer doesn't mean it is automatically good quality.  And just because someone lives in a trailer doesn't mean they haven't worked just as hard as you in life.

Answer 9

If you think you deserve it why are you complaining to us?? Go get married already