Age, future, confusion, advice needed?

Question

I'm 19 year old girl, I live in Los Angeles. I'm just about to begin college I was taking time off from studies. I really need advice in figuring this part of my life out.

I've always been a good kid no smoking, good grades, never had a boyfriend, never even had a first kiss. I did all this to be a perfect child for my parents and tried to be an even perfect example for my younger siblings. Now suddenly I want to leave my parents home, but I have no guts to tell them. They dominate every angle of my life, from who my friends should be to who I should try an marry. My parents are not bad people but they expect me to obey.

I lost a friend of my yesterday, I stopped talking to her after my mother thought she wasn't good in enough for me- months ago. Now I'm logged up with guilt and realization that I'm just a puppet in my parents hands. I have no courage to stand up to them, I have no money to survive on my own, I can't get a job because my dad wants me to finish my education then start my career as doctor. Also I have no friends I can rely on and its all my fault. I'm not an American citizen so I can't get financial aid.

What do I do? I don't even want to be a doctor blood makes me sick, and I'm really naive, sheltered or you can say an idiot. I've never really interacted with the outer world I don't know what to do with my life. I'm open to any advice you rwilling to offer

Answer 1

poor child. talk 2 ur parents and tell them wat u feel. and how u r losing friends b'coz of them . parents hav a soft mind. they will understand. dont leave their house for gods sake. they will lose faith in themself and their upbringing

Answer 2

Even though ur parents r not the talking type,this is the only solution.

Coz u dont really want to revolt against them in any bad way.right.so this is the appropriate thing to do.parents guiding u nd taking ur decision is not a bad thing,but now u r an adult,u must start taking ur own decisions.

If u want to live life ur way,then u HAVE to tell ur parents how u feel.tell them politely that u have no frnds,no connection to outer world,and blood makes u feel sick,so u cant b a doctor.

Tell them that if u wont interact with the outer world on ur own,then no matter wat u become,u'll still b loosing all the time.coz u wont have the feel of being independent.if u r too scared of talking,then next best option is writing a letter or send them an e-mail.write in details abt how n wat u feel.

U have been a gud kid all these 19yrs of ur life,am sure ur parents will understand.

Answer 3

a talk to your parents is ncessary... mayb tell them that you agree that their caring for you and stuff is right and they have a right to do that but you need some space.... i mean you must be allowed to choose your friend's n stuff... maybe write a letter saying all the things you love about them.... then add a page saying this... letters always help...

Answer 4

it's ok to always listen to ur parents. hey, it is our job as a child...^_^ actually, I'm just like u and I'm 22. but on the other hand..., u need to think that not all of it just not the best for u anyway, because this is ur life, u know who u are and what u want....

u can't blame that for it. u said urself that u never had courage to tell them what exactly u want and need... no wonder they might be think that u like their idea too...

u need to speak up what's exactly in ur mind. what u want, what u need...., as long u have a good reason and reliable argument. maybe they aren't bad at all anyways... ^_^ first, maybe u can start to talk to whom the closest with u, which is between ur dad or mom.

this is just part of ur journey of your life. this is one of the moment u need to figure the way out from the obstacles... and I'm sure u can make it through... just do it wisely, nicely, and clearly...

^_^ good luck

Answer 5

A typical problem which any indian youth faces. To be frank its pretty difficult to face this until you are on your own [i mean until you start earning]...leaving your parents isn't a good option friend...you have never been on your own till now so its gonna make things even more worser...blv me its a merciless world out there and you need to have some support from who cares for you[your parents]...and of course you dont want to set a bad example for your siblings after all these years do you?...your parents might be bothered about your friendship with a person based on what they see your friends do overall...since you're in US they might be feeling more insecure and worried about you...what if you get into wrong circle...only way is to balance both at home and outside...you don't have to stop talking to your friend coz of ur mom...might be you can reduce the time you spend with that friend...try to figure out why your mom wants it that way through some talks...might be you can get some clue out of that.

Did you ever tell your parents about your career choice? How you are afraid of blood n all? Even if your parents are not that open to discussions with you, you have to somehow bring this topic since its gonna decide the path of your entire life...so decide carefully!! Take your own time...all the best :)

Don't worry about not having interacted with outside world...you have already started by asking questions now...once you enter college it will teach you even more :)