Age and Race Difference and Underage. Advice please!?

Question

The problem is im 17 and he is turning 25. I am white and he is black. I live in york pa and he lives in baltimore md. We are about 30 minutes apart. Im familiar with baltimore i was born there and go often. We plan on him coming to get me tomorrow for his birthday and me staying until the weekend. But im not sure how to ask or tell my mom that im going. Im not sure how she is going to react. I am soon 18 and i feel its time for me to become my own person. I ve never even dated before..by choice.Ive never left the house without telling her or just go out that often with guys. I rarely give men a chance i have never made any silly decisions for her not to trust me. I am a virgin and never even kissed. I highly dislike men because of my absent father. And she knows i am smart girl that holds my ground, especially when it comes to men. But Last time i had asked her if i could go down to see him she said she thinks its not a good idea. And Another time she exploded on me about it and we got in a big fight.It made me see the real her and she made many racial comments and put me down in so many ways I don`t know what to think about my mother anymore. But she doesn`t understand how much i really like this guy. He is amazing. I just don`t know what do to. And if she says no i don`t know if i should do it anyway. I know life goes on and we could get past however she reacts.But the last thing i would want her to do is call the police since im soon 18 i don`t want to go through that or want him to get in trouble. I asked her to meet him before and she said no. I don`t want my family to hold me back on a relationship i could possibly have. I feel like i really need this and need him. Is it time to grown apart from my family and what they think is right or wrong and begin my own life regaurdless of judgemental people. Should i go with my heart and just do what will make me happy. Or should i stay to avoid any trouble and stay unhappy and lonely like i have been to save my mother from being the worry wart she is and assuming horrible things will happen. I don`t want to miss out on love. I know it doesn`t come easy and there are so many obstacles to overcome but should i wait just because of my mothers opinion of my preferences and the lifestyle i want to live?

Answer 1

your 17 and planning a weekend trip with a man who is almost 8 years older than you.. nothing anyone on yahoo! answers tells you is gonna convince your mother that this trip is a good idea, if you were my daughter, id say there is no way in h**l i would let you go away for a weekend with a man. it doesnt matter what his race is .. mainly age hes 25 your 17 even if your almost 18..  good luck convincing your mother..  

Answer 2

You're a minor; he's an adult male. You should be hanging out with boys closer to your own age. There'll be plenty of time for old men when you're old.

Answer 3

When ever you deal with interracial relationships 9 out of 10 time the older generation is going to have a problem with it. There is not much I can say. I would suggest that you wait until you are 18. That way there is no legal issue involved. If you mom says you two had s*x before you are 18 he is going straight to jail. So wait it out. Try to be a patient as you can with your mom. If you two were men't to be she is going to have to deal with it or move along

Answer 4

The age of consent in Maryland is 16 and the same goes with Pennsylvania. She can't call the cops on him/you and get either of you in trouble for being underage. BUT if she's savvy with the laws maybe she could try to get him charge with "corruption of a minor" but since he's in Maryland it's hard to saw (minor corruption is a PA law).

But, discarding all of that information, I don't think you should be doing this. Sure, you "love" him. But you're also a seventeen-year-old inexperienced virgin filled with contradictions ("I highly dislike men" vs "I really need this and I really need him," for example), hormones, and and a belief that just because you're nearly considered a legal adult you are mentally capable of actually BEING an adult.

Please face the facts: you've never met this man in real life, you've never experienced relationships before, and I'm sure he does a d**n fine job of being a father figure to you (whether you think you need/want one or not), preening and grooming you with compliments.

No twenty-five-year-old in his right mind would want to be with a seventeen-year-old. You're all immature, inexperienced, and offer significantly less for him than a woman his own age. I don't care if you "feel it's right," your gut is probably very wrong right now.

EDIT: I just saw that he is planning on coming and picking YOU up. He could get in major trouble for transportation of a minor, especially across state lines.