Age difference between siblings?

Question

I have a 3 year old son. I am thinking about having another child in 2 years. How is 5 years age difference? Is that a good age difference? Will they get along? Won't it be easier on my husband and I?

Answer 1

I dont think it will affect their relationship at all. A family i know had a son when their daughters were 5 and 11 and both the daughters get along great with the boy now (he's now 4). They are all very close. Well, of course the girls fight, but what sisters dont?

Answer 2

my boys are 4 & 5 and they fight like cat and dog there is 18 months between them . but i would never change it as they are so close and i never wanted a big age gap ,as i have a big age gap with my sister and we dont really get on at all ..

Answer 3

I have a sister that is 19 months older than me.  Growing up we fought like cats and dogs and could never get along.  Even though the closeness in age, she still treated me like her little doll to dress up when we would go the the store for a new outfit.  I never did mind.  We never really started having an equal relationship until she moved out on her own and we no longer lived together.  That was almost 10 years ago and today we get along better than ever.  We still have our disagreements but at least this time I don't end up outside in the snow!  

Now I have a little girl and a boy on the way.  My daughter will turn 5 three weeks before my due date and I am very anxious how she will react when he decides to join our family.  I am a single mom and have been for quit some time.  My daughter seems very happy about the new addition partly I believe because she has so much of the "mommy" personality in her.  My sister has two boys who are actually 7 years apart.  My oldest nephew is 9 now and plays with my daughter and nephew wonderfully.  He rarely ever acts like it is a chore and rarely ever tries to bully them even though he is so much older.

My whole point is that I don't believe there is a right age difference for siblings.  There will be pros and cons of children close in age and far apart.  I wish you and your husband the best of luck!

Answer 4

I think it could be .  I have a sister that is a year and a half apart.  We get along ok for siblings.   I think its a good idea to have your child 2 years apart.   They will be close in age but not too close. and you will have your next child cwhen you first one is still young.

Answer 5

I conceived my second child just before my first started kindergarden, and he was born just after the school year ended. I love this age difference because my older son was more independent and could entertain himself for long periods without being all clingy and attached to me all the time like toddlers can be, and he was old enough to be able to help with simple things without having to worry about the baby's safety. Also not having two sets of diapers to change was nice. They play together very well, and have ever since Tommy was able to crawl on his own. As a toddler Tommy is much more independent than his older brother was because he looks up to his big brother and wants to do everything Alex does. We like this age difference so much that we are planning on trying for another baby when Tommy is ready for kindergarden.

Not to mention with that big of a gap, you are virtually guaranteed another baby shower!

Edit: I have 2 younger brothers. One is 1 year younger than me and we fought like cats and dogs growing up. The other is 5 years younger than me and neither of us fought with him much. He is still my "little Buddy" even though he is going to be 23 this year.

My boyfriend is the second of four children, the oldest 3 each are 7 years apart. They all get along very well, but the youngest  are only 3 years apart, and they are constantly fighting with each other, even now that they are all adults.

Answer 6

My little sister is 5 years younger than me so I might be able to answer your question. Like any siblings, we fight a [lot] (always petty stuff though) but we always love each other.

We spend a lot of time together and even though she has a lot of interests I grew out of, we can find many ways to be close. In a weird way, she seems to idolize me at times. I see her trying to be me (likes the [exact] same music...she tries really hard to avoid things I don't "approve" of. It gets a little annoying but oddly flattering, so I keep her around =]).

From what I get from my other friends, having one sibling is much better than being alone, being less than 3 years apart makes you almost equals (almost!, even 2 minutes seems to make you a lot older) and more than 6 years makes the older sibling a little more distant (almost parent-like, someone to spoil the younger one with gifts and the like).

I remember the first few years with her and it was just really nice. I got to see a baby grow, know it was my own sister and play with it as much as I want. Then she learned to talk...get's me in trouble, but I still love her.

I'm very protective of her but know what she's capable of because I remember how I was at her age. It's pretty exciting now that she's going into grade 7 because that's when I felt that I really started developing as a person. As you get older, the age gap seems to shrink a bit.  

I bet she likes it too. She knows a bit about manipulation...little bum, so she takes full advantage of her age. I do my best to keep her in check.

For you, I think having at least 4 years difference might be easier on the pocket book (schooling, tuition fees...cars etc.). A 4 to 5 year difference gives a near optimum situation for kids to learn a lot from each other. I teach my sister new skills, help her with her homework and my sister gives me a chance to really see what being a kid means (now that I'm old enough to really evaluate it..and indulge in it every once in a while).

I might be a bit prejudiced, but it's worked nicely for me. I actually asked for a little sister when I was in kindergarten because I was bored. I'm sure there's no golden age difference but 4 or 5 seems just right to me. Plus, because it's 5 years, my sister won't be in high school when I'm in my senior year (thank god!).

Hope that helps and I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 7

It will be easier on you and your husband, but 5 years is such an age difference; my brother and I are 5 years apart and we fight constantly. So when children are closer in age, they get along better.

Answer 8

it is great because you son now can help you out and he now understand he has responsability and he is gonna feel great nowing you and dad need his help. five year old love to feel important their like little adults. go right ahead. good luck

Answer 9

Its something that is different for every couple/family.

A five year age gap is not uncommon, my daughter is in first year of school (5 years old) and several school friend's Mums are pregnant with their second child.

My age gap between my daughters is just under 4 years and they love each other to bits - the eldest is protective, and the youngest knows how to wrap her sister round her little finger LOL! I know there will be times where the age difference will seem bigger; smaller - but they'll love each other just the same.

Im now pregnant again, and chose to have a smaller age gap - there will be just under two years between my little girl and the boy Im expecting.  This isn't because the big gap didnt work - it is because I want to go back to study or work, but feel that another 10 years away is ages, because I want to be at home with my children until they are at school.

Basically do what suits you, and your family.

Answer 10

I think there are pluses and minuses to all age differences.  I am expecting my fourth child - first is 9, second is 4, third is 19 months and fourth is due in about 8 weeks.  You also have to factor in differences in s*x and personality.

I'd say have another baby when you are ready.  Planning to have another child around whether or not your children are going to get along will only result in disappointment.  Most siblings will inevitably fight - including those both far and close in age.  

You will still have a 1:1 parent to child ratio - I think that is key in making it "easier" on the parents.

Answer 11

Any age span has pros and cons...go with what feels right to you.

My oldest two are 2.5 years apart and they really play together (good & bad...but they are very close and have similar interests).  Then the oldest is 5.5 years older than my third and middleis 3 years older.  The oldest is a big help with the youngest but it is much more of a big sister/little brother bond.  He is too much younger to do the things she wants to do...so she plays the "baby" stuff with him but gets annoyed a lot too cause he is 3 now and wants to get into all her stuff and play too...but he doesn't know have a high enough skill level to play her favorite things.  but  she fights with him FAR less that she would with her sister.  All 3 of my kids share one room...so the togetherness if overwhelming..lol..i am saving now to get us into a house and out of our small condo.

Having one in school will be easier for you to dote on the baby...but your son may have fits about why the baby gets to stay home with mommy and you may hear the typical lines of "you love the baby more than me."  Trust me -you don't know guilty mom syndrome until you have your second one...lol!  But in the end...like I said...every age span works...just in different ways.  If you goal is to have 2 kids that sit down and play games together...then 5 years is a bit much of an age span though....

Answer 12

that is up to you but my kids are 3 yaers apart and i love it

Answer 13

It will definitely be easier on you, but the kids may loose a certain closeness because of their age difference. A have a neice and nephew that are 5 and 10 and at completely different stages in life. They rarely play together, and when they do the 10 year old views this as a "chore".

It actually also makes it difficult to plan fun family activities because they are interesting in different age appropriate things. Like at the amusement park, the 5 year old wants to spend the entire day at kiddie land and the 10 year old wants to go on the big rollercoasters. It was hard to balance.

Answer 14

My brother and I were 8 years apart and we got along fantastic when we were younger.  The problems come in when the older sibling feels left out.  He needs to a certain extent feel part of the growing family.

Answer 15

3 years is better

Answer 16

I'm 3 years older than one brother and 7 years younger than another.  I think 3 years is a really good difference because we are really close and were inseparable when we were little, but there is enough difference to avoid too much conflict.  I'm not as close to my older brother cause I never see him.