Age gap between babys?

Question

I have a 14 month old son and I just adore him. I have always wanted a 2 1/2 to 3 year gap between babys but now im so clucky again. If I have another baby now I will have 2 under two and just thinking about it exhusts me. Lol. My heart tells me yes but my practical sensable side tells me to wait. What age gap do you think is a good gap? And why?

Answer 1

I don't think there is any magical age gap that is perfect. My girls are almost five years apart and I could give you a long list of the pros and cons for that. I have friends whose kids are closer together and again, there is a long list of pros and cons. I can tell you that with a larger gap, you get more time with each one individually. For example, my oldest will be going to second grade this year and the time my littlest one got one on one with me because her sister was in school was priceless. On the other hand, this makes life more difficult for her older sister because she feels like she never gets time with me. She has a point.

So, if I were you, I'd wait a few more months and then start trying. But you never know. I didn't intend for my girls to be so far apart. It just worked out that way.

Answer 2

I think a good age gap between siblings is about 6 months.

Answer 3

my daughter will be 14 months old when my son is born

Answer 4

When I initially thought about having children, I didn't really want them close in age. From what I've seen, the friends I had who had children close together had more problems than children who weren't. One of my best friends has four children, all are less than 2yrs apart. She has 2 girls and 2 boys, with the girls being the oldest two. As toddlers all of her kids fought for attention. When they were kids, the girls fought over who was prettier, who was smarter, who was more liked or accepted, while the boys fought over who was stronger, who was faster, and who was smarter. Now that they're teens, they don't fight anymore but they aren't all that close. All four of them have different personalities. None of them have friends in common and their hobbies all are different. They go to the same school. I'm sure their mom had thoughts that having them close would make a difference but in her family, it hasn't because she didn't take into account that her kids might grow up with different personalities than his/her other siblings.

On the other hand, my cousin has two kids- the boy is 15 and the girl is 7- and they get along great. The boy has a protective way over his sister and he looks out for her as if she's his daughter. He chooses to spend time playing with his sister or showing her how to do things. The little girl is a bit tomboyish, so they play video games and he taught her how to swim and to play soccer. And he doesn't do it because the parents aren't around they just have a lot in common. He has a circle of friends that he hangs with sometimes and the the little girl has her own little circle but he makes time for his sister and again, they get along great.  

I have 2 sisters- all of us are 4yrs apart, with me being in the middle. We were close growing up but as adults, we aren't as close now. We all live in the same city- in fact, my younger sister lives in the same apartment building as I do. We along fine, just don't have a whole lot in common to base a friendship outside of family. I also have a 9yr old son and am 32wks pregnant with my second- a girl. My circumstances are different than I initially saw when I thought about having children because my first husband died when my son was 4. I'm now married again and wasn't at all expecting to get pregnant. So while it wasn't planned that I have children so far apart, my son's attitude towards this baby is different than his attitude would've probably been when he was younger. My son was dealing with the loss of his father and wasn't in a mental position to be happy over having a brother or sister.

My point is that whether you have your babies close or not, it doesn't determine one way or the other if it's better than the reverse. Having your children close doesn't guarantee they'll get along better nor does having them far apart mean they won't have anything in common. I think it varies per family.

Answer 5

I think a good age gap is 2 to 3 years.  If you want another baby why not have one now?  Only you can know the positives and negatives due to your circumstances but don't leave it just because of the age gap.  If you're working it may be too hard with 2 under 2 but if you're home I say go for it and besides, it could take you a while to get pregnant in which case your son may be over 2 which is what you want anyway.  

My brothers are 17 months apart and my aunt had three each 18 months apart.  It was very hard for them but they did it and wouldn't change a thing.  

I say go with your heart!  Good luck!

Answer 6

Once my third child is born I will have 3 kids 4 and under, whew!!! There is 2.5 years gap between my daughter (4) and son (19 m) and my third is due in 10 weeks or so. The gap will be smaller and my son just isn't in the right place for me to try and explain things to him, so one day I will be gone for a while and then come home with a new bundle that will take my attention away from him, I am not relishing it. My daughter was old enough to grasp the concept that another baby was coming home to live and at one stage she still wanted her brother to go back to the hospital where we got him from, lol. I don't think there is a magical age for age gaps for siblings and them getting along really depends on their personalities and their nature than how many months or years between them. I have a sister that is 8 years younger than me and a brother that is 10 years younger, I get along with my brother better than my sister because of our personalities. In my house for myself the 2.5 year gap is good because they can understand basic concepts. The gap between my son and his new sibling is just a little too late or a little to soon because of his nature (jealous, lol). Every house is different and every parent and child is different.

Answer 7

I think a good age gap is a close one, say 1-2 years. HOWEVER, the reality is that as a parent it is d**n hard coping with the demands of essentially TWO babies.

For that reason alone, and for one's sanity, I would advise an age gap of 3 years (which is the age gap between my two children). I have a young baby and a child who is 3. The elder child is able to get on with things when I am breastfeeding, and now understands about letting the baby sleep, or he can't have his 'special time' with me.

It is during those periods that we do 'fun' stuff together. His nose is still a bit out of joint with the new baby's arrival but he is old enough to understand a bit, but not too old that he won't have anything in common with his sibling.

Answer 8

We were trying for a 2 1/2 year age gap but it took us a little longer to conceive than planned.  Our boys are 3 years and 11 days apart (both Feb. babies) and, for me, it's ideal.  Our oldest isn't too old to be overly jealous but he's old enough to be a great big brother.  He was potty trained for 6 months before we had to start buying diapers again.  

I have 2 brothers, one is 19 months younger than me and the other is 7 years younger.  I was very, very close to both of them (and still am).  I don't think that part is a huge factor.  I would just do what works best for you; they will be close regardless of their age difference.  

I can tell you that 2 kids is soooo much more work than just 1!  If I were you, I would wait another year or so and enjoy the time w/ your baby; he deserves your full, undivided attention right now (and will never have it again after a new baby arrives).

Answer 9

well my brother is 4 years older than me, and the conversation  is a little awkward at times because we are exposed to completely different language, jokes, and slang. so whenever we talk, all of the interesting things are held back because one is not sure the other is used to what you are about to tell them. i say about 3 or 2.5 years.

Answer 10

Um... the baby needs 9 months to grow and be born... Like you said, it'd be exhausting. If you're worried about it being too much for you, and you can't get any extra help from a partner or mother/in-law maybe you should wait until your 14 month-old son is able to at least walk and get himself to the toilet?.. That way you won't be having as many accidents. Hope this helps :D Good luck!

Answer 11

i have a five month old and i would love to fall pregnant now.  I know its hard work, but i adore my daughter so much, and i think it would be great to have a newborn whilst still going through milestones with my daughter.  if u want another baby, have another baby! they are the best thing in the world, and i dont think they can b too close in age!!

Answer 12

I think 3-4 years is a good age gap. My son just turned 4 and I'm 33 weeks along with #2.

I believe it's a good age gap because my son is old enough to do a lot of things for himself now. I will be able to focus more of my attention on the baby. Whereas, if he were only 1 1/2 or 2 it would be extremely difficult. Also, I think jealously will be somewhat less of an issue.

Answer 13

I have a 6 month old and am 7 1/2 weeks pregnant with number 2. It was planned this way, we did IVF and it actually failed first go so if it had of worked, they would have been even closer. As it is they will be 13 1/2 months different in age. I want them close together so that they will hopefully have a close relationship. I am close in age with my sisters and it hink it was great. Also my niece and nephew are only 17 months apart and they get on really well. I  will just make sure i pay both my babies all my attention and give them both all my love equally. I know it will be tough, but they are soooo worth it.

Answer 14

My boys are 15 months apart, my oldest just turned 12 and my youngest will be 11 in Oct. It is a little hard when they are babies but they are really close to each other. It is similar to twins in a way. They were potty trained at the same time, off the bottle, at the same time. The youngest of course a little earlier because he wanted to do what his brother was doing. That was kind of nice. As they get older and develop their own personalities they are completely different boys, but I think because of their age difference they are going through the same things pretty closely together and they give each other that support, which is really nice.

Besides if you have a 14 month old son by the time you get pregnant  and 9 months when you have the baby it will be a 2 year age difference, does 6 months really make that big of a difference?

Answer 15

i have a 10 turning 11 in october, a 4 turning 5 in january and a 2 turning 3 in october (all boys- i'm cursed)

the 6 year age gap is far too big and while the 22 month age gap isn't too bad for the other two, i would have preferred a little bit more than 22 months. but each to there own- if it feels right, whilst it might be hard and exhausting, you'll cherish every minute because they're yours.

Answer 16

I want another my son is almost a year but the hubby can't handle it.  He says "I'm not ready" as in me not being ready.

What evs

So I guess we just won't have another kid I know there will never be a time when he's like "I want to have another baby!"

Yeah right.  So I'll just settle don't get me wrong I love my son with all my heart but I really wanted two and I really wanted to give him a sibling but hey guys don't want kids what can I say.

Answer 17

i think having another child soon is better than waiting for a long time. having two kids means of course more work than having one, but when they grow up, a small age gap is much more useful because that way they can play together and you won't have as many problems as if one is 3 years older than the other one - then the older one won't play with the little one...

Answer 18

I am the oldest of 3 kids...there's 2 yrs, 9 months between me and the middle (Jon), and 8 yrs between the middle and the baby (Zak).  The gap between Jon and I was pretty much perfect--I was just about potty trained when he was born, so that was only 1 in diapers at a time, and when we got to school age, we always had 1 year in the same school before I went on to middle or high school.  

The 8 yrs between my brothers almost caused the baby to grow up too fast--he kept pushing himself to keep up with his big brother.  

My hubby has a step-brother only 8 months older than him, and they grew up being polite to each other, but not close even though they could have shared the same group of friends pretty easily.

So I like the 2.5-3 yr gap, I've seen it work out pretty well.

Answer 19

my dd was 15 mths when we started ttc, it took 5 mths, so she was 29 mths when he was born,it was a little tiring, up feeding at night then having a toddler all day, but it is a good age gap, as she is  a very good helper most of the time, now he is 6 mths they play lovely together,its so cute.

Answer 20

pffft it doesn't really matter. My older brother is 6 years different from me and my younger sister 5. And my mums pregz again and if thet works out i'll be about 16 or 17 years differnce. It really depends on what you want.

Answer 21

Do it when it feels right. My babies are 2 years and 2 weeks apart, it was hard the first year but it get easier and easier. Personally I think 3 years is to long.

Answer 22

This question has actualy been asked a few times on here, and it is something that I really wonder about myself. I have a 2 yr old daughter and know that I want another child, but not sure when to have it.

I have seen both close age range and not close, and both seem to have pros and cons pretty equally, so I think it really depends on the kids. I guess I lean more towards the closer age.

I have a stepdaughter age 8 and stepson age 11, and they CANT get along for 5 min! Constantly they argue and try getting each other in trouble.

My ex fiance has a sister 7 yrs older than him, and they both say that was a bad relationship. He wanted to be a part of her group of friends, and do stuff with her but she wouldnt have it.

I think closer ages are better because they can share stuff in common and relate to each other better, plus enjoy playing with each other....hopefully.

Good Luck to you!

Answer 23

I have 4 children.  My oldest is 20 and my youngest is 6.  My two in the middle are both 9 for one more month.  That's right.  They are only 10 1/2 months apart.  It was a surprise but I will tell you that it has been such a blessing.  They are best friends.  When they were young is was a little tough but I was so use to changing diapers, lack of sleep, sitting on floor with babies crawling over me, that I honestly think it was harder when I went the 10 years between first and second.  I had to readjust to being mommy of little ones again.  So my opinion is the closer together the better.

Answer 24

First, if your son is 14 months and you started trying to conceive now...they would be almost exactly 2 years apart IF you were successful on the first try. If not, then they would be over 2 years apart :-)

As far as what I think is the best age gap - well it depends on what you want. There are pros and cons to having them close, and pros and cons to having them far apart. Having them closer means getting the newborn stages/diapers/potty training stuff over sooner. Farther apart means more years of dealing with all of that. Having them farther also makes it more likely that your older can help out with the younger one. If you think about it I am sure you could come up with plenty more pros and cons to each side.

Personally, we decided to have them closer together - they will be about 18.5 months apart actually. Yes, I am nervous...but SO excited too! I am looking forward to watching them grow up together and hoping they are very close.

Answer 25

I have two 20 months apart and from my informal poll of parents when I was pregnant:

Ask any parent with two close together whose children are over about 14 and they will tell you how wonderful it is and how close their kids are.

Ask any parents with two or more close together under about age 6 and you'll hear "errrrrrrrrrrrr"

I've also heard less than two or more than four because less than two and they are too young for jealousy.  From 2-3 is the worst for jealousy, and over 4 they are more reasonable (rofl)

I don't think there is a right answer.  It is good and bad either way.

Answer 26

My daughter is 10mnths and from around 2mnths ive wanted another one but im gonna wait til shes about 4-5yrs old and then have one then when the 2nd one is about 3 il have my 3rd (3 is max for now)...If u were to start trying now ur son will be at least 15mnth when u fall preg so he will be 2 at least when u have baby, y not start trying in a mnth or so and then ur son will be over 2 closer to 2.5yrs ...its entirly up to u, u know whats best...The reason im waiting til my daughter is around 4-5 is cos i want to experience been a 1st time mam and learn new things and want to give my daughter all my attention and also need to buy a bigger house!!

Answer 27

I think you should just ride your hubby in bed and try and get yourself up the duff. I think you will find your hubby wants this to. The only thing your hubby is worried about is the money side of things. Just do it and see how things go in the future. Just make shur you give what hubby wants to.

Answer 28

my two sons are exactly 5 yrs apart.  I worked part time and got to spend individual time with both of them, so they never felt jealous.  I wouldnt have traded those first 5 yrs with my first son for anything and when his brother came along he was so helpful and could do soooo much for himself.  Then al they grew up they were buddies and teacher also.  The younger one watched his older brother riding his 2 bike and after a few months, at age 4.5, asked me to take off the training wheels.  he got on and rode off.  Each child is different, but i see many benefits of spacing them around 4 yrs....