Aggressive 4-yr-old in a 2 1/2-3-yr-old class???

Question

I just enrolled my son (who will turn 3 in November) in a nursery school class that has a great reputation and wonderful teachers and that is for children ages 2 1/2 to 3 (they must turn 3 by 12/31/07). I was at the playground and observed a little boy being very aggressive toward my child and some of the children in his class. His mother informed me that he is 4 (four) and that he is enrolled in the same class because she and some others decided that "he is a little on the immature side and might be a good leader for the other children." I almost passed out!! He is about one foot taller than all of the other children, and the behavior that I viewed was not positive behavior but down right bad. Do I have a valid concern for the safety of my little boy (and his classmates)? Should I go to the director of the program? The teacher(s)? Should I remove my son ? He just seems so much older and pretty aggressive. Help!

Answer 1

The younger children in this class are not in a safe environment because of this one child.  Talk to the teacher immediately.  If you're not satisfied with her response, go to the director.  It is not fair to any of the other children in the class for that one child to be there.  I worked with a child like that and he was an extreme danger to the other children.  That's why I was there.  He needed one on one support to protect the other children.  The child you are describing needs an aide of his own, or he needs to be in a different setting.

Answer 2

just chill the kid is only four. talk the the teachers or principle regarding this situation.

may be the other kid have older guy siblings, and that y he might be aggrasive... he will learn to share and how to play with other kids as they grow up.. or spent time together....

  as u said he is 4 so he is still a kid .................

Answer 3

Yes.  It sounds like his age and size just make him more able to bully other children.  I would talk to the director about your concern and advice other concerned parents to do the same.

Emma-The "just a kid" excuse is no excuse.  A one year old can be taught that hitting is wrong and knows it hurts people.

Answer 4

Slap the kid.  Then slap the mother.  Then slap the director of the program.  Where the heck were the teachers when the aggressive behavior was going on?  Slap them too.

Answer 5

I am a preschool teacher who teaches 3 year olds.  Your situation sounds very similar to one we had at my school.  At our school, the 2 year olds class is where the children are potty trained.  The children there have to stay in the two's class until they are fully potty trained, even if they are older than two (because my three's classroom is not equipped for potty training).  

We had a boy who was nearly four years old who still was not potty trained.  He was physically much larger than the other children in the two's class.  He was also very aggressive towards the younger children.  Other parents were concerned with the aggressive behavior of this child, so our director spoke to the boy's parents.  The director talked to the parents about his behavior and highly encouraged them to work on the potty training so that he will be able to move on to the three's class.  In less than a month he was fully potty trained and was able to move on to the older classroom with no further behavior problems.

Back to your situation...  Other than "immaturity", is there any other reason why the aggressive child is in the younger class?  If he is so immature, why would it make him "a good leader to other children"???  I don't think being a leader is the boy's job.  That should be the role of the teachers.  His aggression towards other children may be a result of him being bored or frustrated in the younger class.  

I would highly suggest speaking to the director about your concerns.  There may be other parents with the same concerns.  Perhaps the director can talk to the aggressive child's parents and see if they can work with him at home.  Give the director a chance to fix the situation before you remove your son out of the school.  If there is no valid attempt to remedy the situation then I would say it may be in the best interest to take your child out.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Talk to other parents and talk to the Director about it. You are a parent and a client, so your needs need to be met and your voice heard. The more parents that complain the better.The poor teacher cant really do anything about it, that was an executive decision from the front office.

They need to do something, either move him up, or something- that is not acceptable

Answer 7

If I were you I would go to the director and let her know about your concern and see what their response is. I currently work in a 3-5 year old classroom and having older with younger does help in that the older kids can model for the younger. However, a child being very mean is a valid concern for you to have when it comes to your child's safety. If you make it known that there are concerns with safety, something WILL be done to make sure the children in that classroom are safe. Good luck!

Answer 8

I would talk with the teacher first. If that doesn't answer your issues, then I would go to the director.

Answer 9

The director is responsible for the placement of children entering a preschool. I would recommend you going to her directly and explaining the problem. You are concerned about the safety of all the children in the class, not just your son. Explain your reasoning.

I am a preschool teacher. I believe in keeping kids with their age group, or combining them all. You can't pick and choose somewhere in the middle. Since the problem is not with the teacher, the director would be the best direct source.   Good luck.

Answer 10

Go to the teacher first.  No results then go to the director.

Answer 11

Yes, by all means go to the director!!!!!  If this child is four and in the 2 1/2 to 3 year old class it is wrong.  (and probably against state regulations)  

I think you have every right to be concerned.  Your child's well being is your number one priority.  DO NOT let them down play this.  

I don't know what his mother is saying.  If her child is on the immature side than he needs to be with kids his own age rather than younger ones. (he might not be potty trained ya never know)  

Talk to the teacher too.  Get her take on it.  Either way he is too old to be in that class and needs moved up.