Agree or disagree (father responsibility as separator)?

Question

The father is the the third party who comes inot the dual mother-child relationship in order to open it up. He pulls them apart fro a dependent relationship in order to open it up. The experience of separation is not a happy one. Quite the opposite, in fact. It inevitably entails some degree of suffereing and a painful, yet healthy, combat for the child. The fathers role is to teach his child how to face difficulties, how to leave the sweetness and consolation of the mother in order to confront life with its indispensable rules of growth and autonomy. If the child does not separate, he doesn't turn from the mother to the father. In time he will develop symptoms of death such as indentity troubles, problems getting involved, stiffling distress, and emotional immaturity.

Excerts from the "The Healing of the Family", by Bernard Dubois.

Answer 1

Now, that's just wrong. Not all women are nice, just as not all fathers are teachers. In fact, some men leave the woman once she's pregnant. Sometimes, the mom isn't fit to be a mother. The child is abused mentally, physically, or emotionally. Even though my parents aren't divorced, my mom is the one teaching me all types of life skills. So far, my father has rarely taught me anything. You can't base a person's parental responsibilities on gender. It all comes down the that person and that person alone. Not all women are nurturers and not all men are teachers. Plus, a lot of people grow up withouth a mother or father and they turn out fine. Just as I said before, the parent's personality is what decides how a child is raised.

Answer 2

Agree because that is how many generations of my family have been raised & we are very successful because of it, there has been very minimal divorce & mental health issues. People won't admit to believing this.

Answer 3

It's completely ridiculous, but you have to consider the source.  Here is another excerpt (translated from the original French):

"During the past twenty years, the family has been especially under attack, and today is subject to the wrath of Satan. If the family is currently the target of choice, the reason is clearly because it is the final battle."

However, if you accept this basic premise, then, sure, why not?

Answer 4

He needs to be like a pimp.

Answer 5

See the Blog --- http://clearblogs.com/feministfraud

These words are the typical feminist fraud. "Women are naturally good, but men are naturally bad".

When will women stop with this nonsense?

Answer 6

Meh... I disagree with that.

Maybe it's because I had twins first and my husband and I took an equal roll in their caregiving when they were newborns.  We HAD to work together because I simply could- not- do- it- alone.  In fact, because of the c-section he had to do more in the first few days because I simply could not.

Perhaps my experience is a different one, but my husband and I are both nurturing caregivers to our daughters.

We'll see how it goes when the singleton is born, though!

Answer 7

Hogwash plain and simple.

Answer 8

That's completely twisted! It makes it sound like daddy's the Big Bad Wolf ripping sweet innocent babes from their mothers' arms.

Answer 9

While it's taken to an unrealistic extreme.  It's not entirely untrue.

When there's no father figure around, it's far more likely for the children to become unruly.  They're twice as likely to become addicts and criminals once they grow older, as well.

It is the task of the father to teach them logic and reasoning to deal with the real world.  If everyone ran around with their emotions unchecked, professionalism would go right out the windows because "Oh my gawd, she looked at me funny!  Now I'm angry and upset!"

Answer 10

it's sad how many women like you blame men for everything.

that saddest thing is that women are not much fit to take care of the child because they abuse abuse their kids.

you are your type are pathetic.

Answer 11

I personally think it's a hot load of horse s***.

"The fathers role is to teach his child how to face difficulties,"

What about dads who cause their kids difficulties by leaving as soon as the sperm hits the egg?

"how to leave the sweetness and consolation of the mother in order to confront life with its indispensable rules of growth and autonomy"

This is based on the assumption that all women are these syrupy, sweet nurturers, which again, is so untrue.  Tell this to the women who dump their kids in dumpsters.

I think it's all c**p.  So basically, the father is an intruder who rips the child away from the mother's love?  That sounds creepy and weird.  This also implies that the father is not involved in the nurturing process.

Answer 12

Wonderful. For fiction. It doesn't have a shred of empirical underpinning. Children from single-parent households do not suffer from lack of growth or autonomy (often quite the opposite). Children raised by stay at home or single fathers do not suffer from lack of sweetness or consolation  in childhood. This is psychobabble based on some bad, heavily westernised, subjective theory - there's no cognitive basis, or behavoirist, or neurological. The father has much more of a role in the familly than this, as does the mother. Ideally, anyway, but you can cope without one or the other.

Answer 13

"Symptoms of death"?

I think the father should be spending as much time with the child as the mother does, from the beginning. Then you probably won't have this problem, and the father won't be depressed that his relationship with the tyke isn't as close as the mother's.