Ahh well whats your thoughts on it??

Question

I know Its not a PERFECT poem, but just wondering what people think of it. Reaalllyy Bad?

Me and you…

I still can’t believe

It went so fast

Too much to receive

I could not conceive…

Me and you…

I was in a rollercoaster,

Feeling sick

I think I need to be in a…

Clinic

Me and you….

Too much to take in

The kiss

The …

Its Difficult to grasp

When a wish turns into reality

A wish you knew that would never come true.

When it does

Its bliss

Afraid to loose it

You clench it so tight

Like sand in your palms…

It falls away...

Away...

In front of your...

big hopeful eyes

Answer 1

same as the other one you have to get onto a different subject your good but you will never be great unless you can forget ok? heres another one of mine look at the other one and compare them

me

here

inside this depth of betrayl

consumed by your fear

deflowered by your hate

how can i stand up to you

when all you do is push me down

call me names

and yet

i do

seems like always

i come crawling back to you

and as i lay

forever knowing

that you're the one

one to protest me

detest me

even

forget me

Answer 2

i think you are confused,,the peom is good but focus a bit:)

Answer 3

it is good.. however if feel that you have tried to make it rhyme, therefore it hasnt come out naturally, it dosnt quite flow.

you should just spend some time free writting, write whatever comes to you on paper and dont think, and then you will get better at the poetry, so when you wright your words will flow:)

Answer 4

awww.... i like it! keep on writing! ^_^