Alcoholics anonymous for those of you who are in it?

Question

i am in need of help. i am not in need of detox/rehab because i am not going to go through withdrawel symptoms but i need to go to aa. im so hurting right now. my question to you guys who are in aa or have been in it for a period of time-do you think it really works? is life boring when you take alcohol out of it? are you happy? what are your experiences.. i know smoe people think aa is like a cult.

Answer 1

Try 5 or 6 different meetings. ignore the negative c**p that others have said here or to you in person, find out for yourself. It really helps to know you're not the only one & it helps to have people around who know what you are going through. while you are not responsible for becoming alcoholic, you are responsible for your own recovery.  any 12 step fellowship works if you work at it, you did not develop a problem in a day so it will take some time to get free of the problem. As for rumors of AA being a cult-i say the folks who tell you that are narrow minded-fearful-and are practicing contempt prior to investigation. AA is neither a cult, nor a religion. It is however the thing that saved my *** & now I get to live a normal life of gratitude and service.

Answer 2

You will find that the people who call AA a cult are people who got suckered by some kooks within the fellowship - who never recovered from alcoholism in AA because they never HAD alcoholism to recover from  - they were just heavy drinking fools with the hot torch on their butts who could have stopped on their own all along and when someone told them to go to AA - they jumped!  

But they were not true alcoholics. Then they ran into the kooks who were just as gullible as they were and fell right in step with them too - like sheep. Those people WERE a cult - right IN AA - and that sucks, but I can show you how to avoid that c**p.

Here's what you do. Do what I did. I had a spiritual awakening that removed the desire to drink. Permanently! Quickly! and I have recovered. It's incredibly simple. You need to find someone to show you how to do that and you need it fast because alcoholics haven't got a whole lot of time or options.

But first you have to decide if you need to be as drastic as having a spiritual awakening - you might not. You might be like one of those AA bashers who  tried AA - were so gullible and desperate  they bought into the "culty" stuff, fell for the kooks and never needed to go through all that. All they had to do was STOP DRINKING. Maybe you can do that and don't need AA.

There's only one way to tell. Get yourself a copy of "Alcoholics Anonymous" and read the first 43 pages, which is designed to help you make a determination whether or not AA is for you. In other words, "Are you REALLY an alcoholic?"

You may not be. In fact the chances are good you are NOT. (Only roughly 10% of the world population actually is.) If you are, its like winning the lottery with odds like that . (Because AA has a solution.)

Unless I had LEARNED to answer that question - it was impossible to know if I was "In the right place" - AA members say they don't like to proclaim individuals as alcoholic (Those don't betray their own precepts that is.) -- so I had to do it myself.

Luckily the book showed me how, just as it was designed to do. You will not learn this vital stuff in AA meetings - so please be careful not to rely upon those much. Meetings may help heavy drinking non-alcoholics who THINK they are "alcoholics" stop drinking - but it will KILL you if you a real McCoy.

Then when YOU decide that you are "One of us", or if there is anything you don't understand about how to make that determination, tomorrow go to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and get a sponsor who has experience in taking others through the 12 steps and identifies him/herself as someone who has recovered.

If someone says they are still "recovering" politely pass, and keep looking till you find someone for whom the Program has actually worked.

Disregard how "Nice" or "Knowledgeable" the "Still recovering" person seems. "Still recovering" is the same as "Unrecovered". If you want to be that person's friend, fine - but do not permit yourself to fall under their sponsorship - unless they have recovered from alcoholism. "Not drinking" today does not count. YOU may NEVER drink again and this persons method to stop may KILL you - as earnest and nice as they seem, and as well as their method seems to be working for them.

Your sponsor will refer to him/herself as "RECOVERED"

He'll know EXACTLY what to do with you from there, and you can trust that without reservation. WARNING: These knowledgeable people can be a chore to find - even in AA meetings, unfortunately. But don't give up - show up as a student and the teacher will show up.

Do not let anyone sponsor you whose solution is "don't drink and go to meetings", or "Just don't drink" or "One day at a time". These concepts are not part of our Program, but they are rampant never the less. If that is their solution, and it works for them, it may KILL you, if you are a real alcoholic as described in those first 43 pages.

If you determine from that book that you are a "Real alcoholic" then that kind of advice does not work. Never has, no matter what they tell you.

If anyone tells you "Aren't ready to take the steps" RUN! If anyone tells you they did it slowly, therefore so can you RUN! They may not be "one of us".

If anyone tells you that you ARE an alcoholic, just because you showed up. RUN! We don't like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic. YOU must ascertain it yourself, by those 43 pages.

Take the 12 steps as fast as you possibly can. It IS a race. You must recover before the next first drink comes along, and don't let anyone tell you that THEY know when that is for you. You do not have to be prey to arrogance.

And then after you have worked the Program in the book, and the desire to drink has left, (That's a promise that it will), then you will be in a position to go find another alcoholic to work with as your sponsor has done and pass it on to another in the position you are in now.

Soon you will be free from alcohol, sponsoring others and joining us in the trenches. Your life will have become usefully happy a

Answer 3

It does work, for some people. AA isn't a cult at all, but rather a support group -- having people there to encourage you and care about your recovery is a huge part of the equation. It's not a magic cure, though; you really need to be motivated and try to make it work. And no, life doesn't have to be boring without alcohol. You just have to work on making yourself not dependent on it for a good time.  

Answer 4

AA is not a cult at all.  It's a group of people, just like you, who are frightened (at present or in the past) by the thought of a life without alcohol.  I, for one, know exactly what you are talking about.  The people at AA will understand as well, because they are (or have been) exactly where you are.  As the one person stated, it's a support group.  They're not there to police you or judge you or even tell you what to do.  They share what they did and felt and thought, and you can listen and learn something from everyone there.

Since you would not want to be judged, don't judge them either.  Just tell yourself to be brave for just an hour, then go to a meeting.  Be completely honest, tell them you don't know what to expect but you're afraid.  No one can tell you what you'll discover at each meeting because each one is different.  However if you're sincere, it will not be time wasted...

Life is not boring without alcohol.  Quite the opposite.  It is hard at first to let go of "an old friend".  That's why no one in AA plans to quit for the rest of their life.  They only quit "one day at a time..."

Good luck, and go to a meeting today.

Answer 5

Life without drinking and without AA is great. I quit drinking in order to gain a life, not waste it in church basements. For those inclined to attend church, I suggest the front doors.

I bounced in and out of AA for about 20 years, never managing more than a few months of sobriety at a time.

It wasn't until I quit trying to fit into a RELIGIOUS program that was a bad fit and took responsibility for my addiction and my recovery that I managed to stay sober. Don't believe any of the "spiritual not religious" nonsense, that is members trying to cloud the issue with semantics. Three Federal District Courts and two State Courts have ruled that AA is at least "religious in nature". If you are not religious or if you already have a religion, AA is not right for you. AA is designed to be for lapsed Christians:

The Religious Roots of Alcoholics Anonymous and the Twelve Steps:

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-reli...

Different meetings are like different McDonalds, close enough to identical no matter where you go.

Whether AA is a cult or not is a matter of opinion, the real question is: "Does AA work?", and the answer is "No".

AA has a 5% success rate, the same as no treatment at all, but has a mortality rate six times higher.

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effe...

When folks in AA fall, they tend to fall harder and for longer periods of time.

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effe...

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effe...

The only thing that AA is good at is promotion and they deny they promote the program.

Answer 6

yawnclifford:  You have no clue as to what alcoholism is.  It is a disease.  Why don't people with diabetes just quit being diabetic because it is really a stupid thing to be?

AA can help.  It is NOT a cult, and it works for a lot of people.  You have to want to quit drinking and be willing to do what it takes to quit.  Until you  reach that place, nothing you do will help you quit.  AA does offer loving, caring support for those that want to quit or have already quit.  It never hurts to try a few meetings and find out what they are about.  Speaker meetings are especially helpful for newcomers.  Just look up Alcoholics Anonymous in the phone book and call them for a meeting place and time near you.  Good luck.

Answer 7

I can tell you my own experience: I have been sober since 7/02/06 - little over 2 years now.. I am 34 year old and started drinking at age 11. I didn’t stop until. I got sober in July 06 . -

Your 1st Question: Does it really work? Yes IF you use the steps and get a sponsor with a working knowledge of the Big Book. Your life will improve in several ways. Mentally, spiritually and most likely economically and socially. - In working the steps you will discover things about yourself that may have been at the root of your drinking. I myself drank in good times and at bad times. So every occasion was a reason to drink.

2nd Question: Is life a bore after you get sober?  NO way.. Actually I have made countless numbers of friend’s guys and girls who are the best people I have ever meet. I have done things while i have been sober that I would never have done while drinking. Every aspect of my life as far as FUN has been improved!

3rd Question.. CULT... well.. when I got into AA I was a little freaked out. because then.. and even NOW I am not religious. and I found that saying prayers seemed to lean into the religious arena. Once I learned the prayers and listened to what the actually are saying I learned not to be over critical about it and just keep a open mind. I walked into AA not a religious person and like I said I still am NOT.. BUT I have gained a spirituality.

NOW for the real story: -- ME : I have been working my *** off in AA since day 1 .. I got a sponsor.. I started reading the Big Book.. taking commitments.. Getting Panels on H & I ... sponsoring guys .... Big Book studies .. etc etc etc .. . Point is .. I burned out BIG TIME .. to where just the last couple days I have decided to leave AA or take a unknown amount of time off. In fact I have lost faith in MY Higher Power.. . I feel like I have been giving my own power away to a higher power who I feel brought me up only to let me fall on my head. I wrote a letter to my friends in the program.. and the gates of AA flooded my phone I had and still have today gotten over 30 phone calls and 50+ text messages asking me what’s going on.

Bottom line.. If you feel you need to go to a AA meeting you probably do! – Try to maintain a balance in your life. Too much of anything can be bad. Give AA a year and REALLY do the steps to the best of your ability. IF you don’t see an improvement then. Get out.

Good Luck

If you or anyone else wants to talk to me. I could use some advice.

[e-mail]

Damon

Answer 8

Why do you think you need to go to AA?  Is it because you've seen so much publicity about AA that you think it's the only or best way to quit drinking?

If so, think again.  I quit drinking ten years ago, and spent the first nine of those years in AA, so I can tell you from personal experience that most people who go to AA don't quit drinking as a result.  Mostly they run for the door when they see what goes on in those meetings, for example, being told that they have no hope without AA and will die if they leave (that's where the cult idea comes from).

However, what I can also tell you is that you absolutely can quit drinking if you want to badly enough.  Even in AA they will tell you that one of the keys to quitting is "willingness"...actually that's the only key you need.

Life can be boring when you first take alcohol out of it, yes, but it doesn't take all that long before you find other things to do, and then life is so much better.  I certainly am happy, much happier than I was when I was drinking.  No more hangovers, no more guilt, no more blackouts...it's fabulous.

Edit:  To those of you who claim I don't know what I am talking about, did you notice that I was in AA for nine years?  I do have contempt, yes, but it is contempt AFTER investigation.