All young moms: were you approached by strangers who were interested in adopting your unborn baby?

Question

Regardless of whether or not you were actually considering relinquishing.

It doesn't even have to be strangers. When my doctor learned we were adopting from China he asked if we wanted to leave our profile with his secretary so he could show it to an "expecting teen mom." We were shocked. We said thanks, but no thanks, but it makes me wonder how often that kind of thing happens.

If it did happen to you, how did you handle it?

Answer 1

No, I was never asked to relinquish, however I was made to feel like the biggest piece of white trash on the planet. People would come up to me all the time in the store and be like "how old are you anyway, you look to young, you shouldn't be in your "condition". HELLO PEOPLE! I WAS 19! Sure I was young, but I wasn't THAT young! I would have people see that I wasn't wearing a wedding ring, and then they felt it necessary to make a dumb a$$ comment about it. When people asked if I was still with the father and I said "no", they would just look at me like I was a second class citizen. What they don't know is that his "father" is a drug addict thief. I actually had one person tell me that my son would end up g*y because I was not with his father! People would turn their children away from me in the store, I could go on, but it is just starting to p**s me off.

Answer 2

im 20 but look 16 and i was never approached, i think i would be offended, but chances are that young teen mom requested adoption, i dont htink your doctor would behave so offensively. congrats on your decision to adopt :)

Answer 3

no... but the aagency went out of their way to convince me that my baby was a rare find (born to a black mother who was college-bound, wasn't on drugs, nor had a hx of STDs, et .al.).

i was told by several people that i should have had an abortion, (including a nurse at the local health clinic) because being a single-black mama was dooming me to a lifetime of miscery and poverty...  

needless to say, i didn't listen.

Answer 4

Actually I look allot younger then I am for my age and I was pregnant about 7 months and I was in Wal-mart shopping for some groceries and the cashier asked me if I wanted to give my child up for adoption and she would adopt my child because she could not have any.  I of course said no and she said if you change your mind you know where I work and how to get a hold of me and on that note I just left. It was very strange but it happened so fast i did not have time to think about it at the time but then after wards i was upset about it and then I thought again and said no I was not and maybe that is because i have an adopted son as well.

Answer 5

Never in person but numerous times online. I did get many "are you keeping it?" questions with my first two pregnancies though.  

Honestly it made me sick but I was busy being a good little adoptee then and the urge to please everyone won out. I ended up in a few discussions about the beauty of adoption over it... did not help with the barfy morning sickness feelings.

Answer 6

I was never approched by strangers on the street, but I was pressured to give my oldest son up for adoption by his father's parents. I found out that my son was in high demand thanks to his beautiful blue eyes and blonde curls. At least this is what the THREE social workers that came to the hospital after he was born told me. I will forever be grateful to my Mom for throwing them (almost literally) out of my hospital room and giving me the support I needed to keep my child.

Answer 7

Dear Kazi,

Yes. I also tend to look younger than my age and am a small woman.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was teaching swimming lessons, I had two parents inquire about adopting my child. These people KNEW I was having this child to place with infertile "friends" to whom I had "given" my son but asked if I would consider placing with them instead. (OMG!!! :o They didn't just want to take her from me but from the people I had already chosen!!)

I explained to these people that I had ALREADY picked a family for her and she was to be living with her BROTHER as PLANNED BEFORE CONCEPTION and if the APs of my son decided they didn't want her (HA!) that she would be living with my hubs and me - HER BIOLOGICAL PARENTS.

I also had a woman in Costco ask if I was considering adoption because she was DESPERATE for a baby - she would even pay me. (I was looking at a book on adoption so it might have been assumed, but was still RUDE and creepy!) She got the finger - I was feeling a little homonal that day!

I also got several "notes" left on tickets at restaurants when I was waitressing and pregnant with my 3rd son - who I was NOT placing. I didn't wear my rings at work, including my wedding ring and live in the Bible belt so there is still a stigma towards young, unmarried mothers and people wanted to "save" me a lot! (I also got lots of religious pamphlet left with tips.)

I never got a "business card" like that woman in the news though. d**n. I would have put it in my scrapbook of creepy stuff.

I have also been asked if I were adopting a friend's baby when I took her to a pre-natal checkup! (She was a pregnant teen who was living with me and my hubs because her parents kicked her out.) Needless to say we found a new physician for her.

Answer 8

im 19...i look pretty young though....if it happened to me i think i would just laugh at them and walk away.