Alright Hockey Section, It's %$%$in Monday....?

Question

1.) Joe's question earlier made me think about the funniest quotes in all of sports? Hockey ones are preferred, any are accepted.

2.) Do you overexaggerate your "fandom"? Seriously, I've seen people turning down millions of dollar to not watch hockey.... I'm a big fan, but I do have other things in my life..

3.) Best hockey blooper?

4.) If God really created hockey on the 8th day (as the shirt claims), what were the names of the first two teams that played?

5.) Do you ever watch other sports and compare them to hockey? I was at a soccer game last night and I was disgusted with the flopping...

Enjoy.... Or don't, I really don't care.

Answer 1

1. I only like quotes by George Bush, funny things to laugh at.

2. No. I'd seriously take a bullet to the head if I wasn't allowed to watch Hockey.

3. http://youtube.com/watch?v=gMdX_A2iLuM&f...

4. Not religious, sorry.

5. No.

Answer 2

I will answer number 5.  I love to play soccer, and loved to watch the professional indoor league that was around 10 years ago... don't think it is still around.  It was much faster of a game to watch.

As I said I love to play soccer, but the professional outdoor game is terrible to watch.  I don't mind the low scoring, but like you said the flopping is down right embarrassing.  I just can't respect a player who acts like he gets shot when someone touches him.  I know that they probably do it just to get a little breather, but don't do it that way.  These guys are CRAZY athletic, try playing a whole 90 minute game at full speed and then you'll understand what they can do, but the flopping just cheapens the sport.  One reason why professional soccer will never make it big in the US.  Also if hockey doesn't make it, soccer sure won't.  Americans have the attention spans of a house fly when it comes to sports.  If there isn't constant scoring they get bored.  A real travesty that they don't really understand hockey enough to give it a chance.

Answer 3

1. 'Eat another donut you fat pig", what can I say, I'm not one for niceties.

2. I'd take the millions and find a hockey speak easy.

3. May not be THE BEST, but I can't bear to look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXrVSmFwY...

4. Fire and Brimstone vs. Fluffy Clouds and Philadelphia Cream Cheese Angels

5. Now that I'm getting into Lacross, you kinda can't watch one without thinking of the other. The atmosphere at games is totally different, but I much prefer the speed of a hockey game.

Answer 4

I'll just answer #5 cuz it happened to me last night...

I was watching English Premier League soccer with my jaw on the ground. The skills these guys have is amazing. Forget all the diving and drama...the passing and kicking and dribbling - wow.

Answer 5

1) I thought this one was pretty funny.  I just read it last week.  

"I tried to talk my daughter out of going with a hockey player but, he’s a good kid. He asked me if he could marry Carrie before he asked her. I said: “You want to what?” I thought he was just going to ask for more ice time."

Phil Esposito, on his daughter Carrie getting engaged to Alexander Selivanov.

2) Yep, I would stop watching hockey for the right amount of money…I mean, there would be a huge void in my life, but I am sure millions of dollars would fill that void quite nicely.  

3) That Edmonton vs. Dallas missed empty net goal by Patrick Stefan is the best.  

4) The Heavens vs. the Earths

5) Soccer game?  I hope they had free beer or something to make the game seem faster.  

Whenever I talk with my dad (huge football fan), he likes to dog me and I like to dog him about how each other’s sport of choice blows.  He will say things like, “In football they don’t play as many games, because it is way more physical that the ICE game that you watch.”…..Then I will say things like, “Don’t football players consider ‘Leg Cramps’ as an injury? Plllllleeeese. There have been NHL player’s that still play with broken extremities!”  

So I guess sometimes we compare.

Answer 6

1)Football quote I just heard.John McKay former coach of the TB Bucs when they went 1-15 when in a press conference asked for any positives in there season and he said"Well we didn't block BUT we did make up for it by not tackling".

2)If you had billions of dollars I can see turning it down then.

3)Just watch this classic http://youtube.com/watch?v=3UxhiDz6Jrs

4)Jerusalem Judases(or Rags now :p) and Egypt Sphinx(Jerseys are sweet but the noses are missin).

5)Baseball.I went to the Phils game Sat night and when Carlos Ruiz was drilled I yelled "C'mon Carlos drop the gloves".

Answer 7

1) See TbL Lol^^

2) No, I'm pretty Die hard ; but a million dollars would be nice

3) lmao i think this is hilarious

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nF8K-szxQ...

4) Death and Destruction?

5) Yeah all theee time. I compare basketball to hockey a lot, and sometimes football. But Still think hockey is the best sport.

Answer 8

1. Here's a funny quote attributed to Gordie Howe, amongst other players. It's probably urban legend, but I like it anyway.

Howe: Hey, ref, did you know that you're the second best referee in the league?

Ref (flattered): Really? Thanks! Who is first?

Howe: It's a tie between all the rest of them.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

2. Sometimes.

3. Can't think of one off the top of my head. The Penguins 5-3 power play the other night was quite a blooper, though.

4. The Israeli (He)Brewers and the Philistine Phillies

5. Nothing compares to hockey!

Answer 9

1) "Hockey players know two languages- English and profanity."

-Wayne Gretzky

2) I over-exaggerate where I sit when I receive tickets.

3) Gotta be this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1Z9UspUH...

4) Adam vs. Eve. 1-on-1

5) Of course, because no sport is as good.

Answer 10

1.) I laughed really hard when Rick Jeanneret said "Pominville is gonna have to open up a Planned Parenthood Center!" after Pominville scored his second or third goal of a game (RJ's regular comment being "the population of Pominville just went up by one".) Not funny to everyone, but one of my favorites.

Not a hockey "quote" per-se, but this always cracks me up, too:  http://youtube.com/watch?v=XZpGF4SSrS0

2.) Practically nothing could induce me to turn down season tickets (granted I have some means of transportation to Buffalo) or playoff tickets, and that's the truth. Obviously if it was between failing out of school/my family's wellbeing/my best friend's wedding and hockey tickets, I'd do the other thing, but I would blow off anything that's strictly personal gain vs. NHL tickets without much thought.

3.) Rob Ray got smacked in the butt with a puck last year while he was standing between the benches...it was pretty great.

4.) Gileadites and Ephriamites, of course. Too bad for the Ephriamites...they didn't survive the game!

5.) I think football players act like such divas. The only divas we have in the hockey world are Ray Emery, Sean Avery, and Don Cherry, and they all get made fun of constantly.

Answer 11

1. "I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."  - Rodney Dangerfield.

2. I’m a huge hockey fan, but with a wife, kids, mortgage, and two car payments I’d listen to what someone was willing to offer. However, if someone didn’t want me watching the game anymore then they better come with some serious cash.

3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNK-5JYzm...

I love how Ruutu just leaves the ice.

4. Evolutionary Theory v. Creationism Thought  

5. All the time. The speed of hockey just makes other sports seem so slow. Don’t ever try switching between a hockey game and baseball game. Talk about hitting the breaks.

Answer 12

1) Derek Sanderson-Rangers after they were eliminated in 1975 Preliminary round by the Islanders:

"I guarantee the Islanders won't win another playoff game"

J.P. Parise's response:

Well, I can guarantee the Rangers won't win anymore games! When are they teeing off?"

2)No, I don't. I love hockey, but I could go without for a few billion or control of some oil fields.



3)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyjm3A0N_...

4) Evolution Revolutions vs.  Big Bang Cosmic Dusters

5) I watched some of the NCAA Lacrosse tournament and thought it was just as entertaining to watch as hockey. Legal slashing!  Players work hard, though I did miss the body checks.

Answer 13

1) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhJw4MMSm...

2) My fandom is not for sale.  I don't over-exaggerate but I don't keep it quiet either.

3) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56ww--j17...

4) The Eve Adams and the Montreal Canadiens.

5) No.