Alright ladies. I need your advice about the babys daddy Doesnt act the same and i dnt no wat else to do?

Question

When I say doesnt act the same I'm talking day and night. He used to be SOOO caring and loving towards me and could spend HOURS talking about how much i meant to him. But ever since I was about 4 months pregnant he's irritable, immature, and hard to handle. Before I could say that he had NEVER yelled at me, or cussed at me, or talked to me disrespectfully. But now thats like all he ever does. So I need Some Major advice and how to turn him around. I miss the old boyfriend. I'm not the only one having trouble out of him. His temper has gone up with EVERYBODY esp me and his family. The only people he still treats the same are his friends (who arent helping the situation) how can I turn him around???? and yes, we are rather young parents.

I need so much help right now. I have 9 weeks left before the baby is here. I want to be with him, but I want everything to be smooth and easy going when its time. i dont want us to fight. HELPPP!

Answer 1

ok, this is a tough one sweetie.   Sounds to me that he isn't wanting to be a dad.  Now, i am not saying that he shouldn't be there for his child, or for you.  What I am saying is that someone, whether it be you or someone from his family, needs to get through to him that he has responsibilities coming in 9 weeks.  Also, do not allow him to yell at, cuss at, and disrespect you.  When he starts that up, tell him that you can't talk to him when he's acting as such and walk away.  Leave the house if need be.  

The harsh, unforgiving truth is that, most likely, he's not going to change right now.  especially if his friends aren't being supportive of this change in his life, he's going to fight it.  You are probably going to have to go after child support, because if the yelling and fighting are happening now, don't think it's going to stop just because a child is around.  Your baby deserves more.  Now, i know you love him and my heart goes out to you, but you have to think of this baby before anything else.  He may come around after the baby is born, but you might have to leave him first, before he can realize what he has.

Good luck, and feel free to email me if you have any further questions, or need more advice.

Answer 2

This is so hard because I think your boyfriend must have an enormous amount of pressure with the new baby, and all the responsibility that having a baby entails. This is not to excuse his behavior of course... but, perhaps he's acting immaturely to sort of rebel against the fact that he has to grow up very, very soon.

He may just need to release some of his fears, without judgment. You can be a source of support (I know it's hard since he isn't being very supportive of you!!!) by perhaps sitting him down and simply asking what his fears are. You also need to tell him how much you need him, that you have fears as well.

It's such a difficult venture, being a new and young parent. Be patient and compassionate with each other. I guarantee, the second he sees his baby, his sour mood will turn around.

Good luck!!!