Alright moms, can you tell me that I am over reacting to this?

Question

My in-laws decided that they wanted to watch our 8 month old son this week because they were both off from work until Tuesday. We let them watch him for the week, but had them do so in our house since it is more baby friendly.

I have over looked all the messes they have left for me (its fine, whatever, babies are messy). But I had a little freak out just now when my husband called me. He had gone home for lunch to visit and check in and he said his father was cleaning our son up from lunch with a wash cloth (adult, not baby). He asked his father where he got it from and he said, from the shower.

He had taken my husbands dirty wash cloth out of the shower and used it to clean up our sons face and hands. My husband ended up telling his father that he could not do that, to which both he and my MIL asked what the big deal was.

My husband was livid, I am disgusted.

We're both freaking out for nothing, right?

(and do not get me wrong we are very close with them and really appreciate all the love and affection they shower our son with...but this is still just gross to us).

Answer 1

You said this just happened.  You are okay to feel upset.  Hopefully you will calm down in a few minutes.  You and I both know your son will be just fine.  You really have no choice but to live with it.  What else can you do?  Ban them from seeing Ben again?  Take a chill pill girl, and head straight for the medicine cabinet when you get home.

Answer 2

Are you asking for reassurance that your baby is safe from disease?  Honestly, I strongly doubt that your husband's washcloth has any more pathogens in it than your baby's washcloth.  I assume for both of them, you rinse them off, wring them out, and hang them?  If so, they're probably pretty similar.  Towels in general harbor more pathogens (bacteria and such) than something disposable, but if it dries completely between uses that number is reduced.

But honestly, people worry WAY too much about germs without really understanding them.  The worst thing you can do for yourself is use antibiotic soap.  It selectively allows resistant bacteria to colonize and then we have to invent stronger and stronger chemicals to kill them.  It is the friction of handwashing and the soap in general that kills germs, not any chemical.

So anyway, I'm sure your baby is fine.  Also, only the outside of his skin was cleaned.  It didn't enter his body.  The sponges on your sink or kitchen hand towels are probably much dirtier.

I'd thank your parents deeply for all the support and help they are giving.  Remember; they raised your son and he turned out all right!

Answer 3

i was exactly like you a year ago!!! my daughter is 22 months old now if my parents or in laws can catch her to wash her face and hands i dont care what they use!!!  

Answer 4

Yeah you freaked out a little bit. You have to remember they raised there kids already and they know what they are doing. The just raised them in a different era so what they did and what parents do now is completly different. Yeah it was gross but just wait untill he gets older.  

Answer 5

sounds like most normal parents..u r worried about your child. personally i wouldnt have liked it much either but things could have been worse. its hard when anyone is watching your child b/c there not going to do things exactly how u would do them but just express how u feel and move on. im sure there will be many other things to come...just keep your cool

Answer 6

ew, thats pretty gross. I would be mad but not freaking out. I guess you have to explain every little thing to them and show them where the clean washcloths are.

did they not realize that it was dirty?

Answer 7

I agree with you...It's pretty nasty.  A lovely story to tell your little one when they get older...I'm sure they will be equally disgusted.  The problem is that when you leave your little one with someone else it's hard to let go of the fact that they don't do things exactly the way you would.  I am sure they had the best of intentions.  Try to just let it roll off of your back.  I'm sure this is the least of things that they will do that will drive you crazy.

Answer 8

I know it must be grose. but its not like they had the intent on hurting your son. I would take a deep breath, and tell them that next time you would like a baby cloth used on him. explain to them that he has his own and you would like them to be used!

Answer 9

Yup - totally unnecessary freak out! I know it's gross. But honestly, it's really not going to hurt anything. It's easy to get frustrated when someone else is taking care of your baby (esp the in-laws) - they just don't do things the same way mommy & daddy do. But they really are taking the very best care of your baby. They are grandma & grandpa - they LOVE baby & they would never do ANYTHING to hurt him.

Answer 10

Next time you go home set out some baby wash cloths and tell them, this is what we use. My MIL wiped my sons face a couple of weeks ago with a cloth she found on the kitchen counter. I had used it about an hour before to clean the counters with Clorox. But, by the time I looked over she had already scrubbed his face with it. Ewwww!  

Answer 11

yes that is nasty. it is ok to use adult wash clothes on babies but not DIRTY ones! YUCK!!!!!  

Answer 12

well, if you think you're overreacting, you probably are. it's a little icky, but I wouldn't be "livid" over it. and I certainly wouldn't be freaking out. they have been kind enough to watch your baby, simply say "thank you"

Answer 13

It is totally gross!! Maybe just remind them where the baby wash cloths are and just tell them you weren't okay with them using a dirty cloth from the shower. Considering this is probably the first time anything like this has happened, let it slide and give the baby a bath!!!  

Answer 14

I think it wasnt wrong to not want that.  

But that it was wrong to freak out.

Answer 15

trust me your not over reacting there are germs on everything he shouldnt have been using a dirty wash cloth on your son but on the other hand he is a grampa things were alot diffeerent when he had kids mabey you should explain some stuff to him give him a list of do's and donts

Answer 16

I 100% see your side of the story- but you shouldn't be angry at them.  I'm sure if they knew it was used for that they wouldn't have used it- but then again it is obvious if it was in the showewr than it was dirty....anyone would know that.  so hmhm I dont know. just let it go know because it happened its the past and theyll be gone beforew you know it.......dont bother fighting you'll only look like the bad guy

good luck inlaws can be tricky

Answer 17

I don't think it's worth freaking out over, but it is pretty gross. Just let him know where the CLEAN baby washcloths are. It was a mistake, I wouldn't make him feel too bad about it. Your son will be fine.  

Answer 18

I think both of you need to chill out! The washcloth was used on your husband not a stranger. I am sure they rinsed it out and your child will come in contact with a lot worse germs. Wait until he eats boogers or examines a piece of dog p**p!  

Answer 19

It was just a mistake. You are right, it is really gross but it was an honest mistake. Next time they take him, show them where your sons wash cloths are kept. Or you could put some out in your kitchen.

Answer 20

It won't kill your son to use a rag that was previously used.  Be glad it wasn't one you had used for bleach or some other chemical, right?

I would put some baby rags where they can see them and ask them politely to use these on the baby :)

Answer 21

Honestly I wouldn't have handled it quite in that manner.

If they didn't know where the towels, etc are kept they did the best they could with what they had, really.

Next time, set out a set of washcloths and towels for the baby in case they need them, and there won't be an issue.

Answer 22

I really don't get it. How dirty can the wash cloth be? If it was that dirty surely it wouldn't be in the shower, presumably for your husband to use next time.

I did think you were totally over reacting although after I read the other answers it seems that I am totally under-reacting.  

Answer 23

I believe that you are only wrong if you feel like you are wrong... I find it disgusting also, however that is not my child so I am still on the outside looking in. I think that if you feel that you are justified than you are because we are dealing with the feelings of proud mother and father. When it comes to YOUR child no one can tell you how to feel and how not to feel! I am just happy to hear of a couple that actually CARES about their child in this horrible time!

Answer 24

i think the better reaction would have been, no dad, we use these cloths on him.

They are grandparents and they are trying...at least they didnt use a dishcloth from the kitchen that was used on dishes.

Sometimes, even though they are family, you have to tell them the rules. wash him with this, feed him with that, etc... no biggy...

Over reaction i think, and it was partly your guy's fault.

Answer 25

I totally think you are making a big deal out of nothing. it was probably the first one they could find and im sure they rinsed it out first. even if there were 'germs' on it, its not going to kill your son. at least they got him clean.

Answer 26

Yea that is a bit gross. I would just make sure all dirty laundry gets thrown in the hamper from now on and then set out extra baby wipes and baby wash cloths as a gentle reminder.

I just wouldn't say anything about it.  

Answer 27

oh my god. i'm sorry -- i am laughing. not because i don't get why you were grossed out. i get it 100%. i won't even use the same waschloth on ruby two days in a row. but i also know it is my disease. my in laws do all sorts of stuff that makes me nuts, similar things, that i have to let go. and i think you need to let this one go. because there will be many more incidents like this at the hands of them, of preschool teachers, etc. it's harder with a baby than a bigger kid-- it just seems like she has been POLLUTED, i know! but i am sure they are as perplexed about why this is a big deal to you as you two are that it isn't to them. and i'd hate to think that they have to feel bad -- i have to remind myself all the time of my friends whose parents/in laws don't ever babysit! we are lucky to have the type of grandparents for our girls who want to spend time with them. pick your battles around the stuff that is actually dangerous...not just kinda gross (which it is, but, you know....) have a glass of wine tonight and laugh about it with your husband.

Answer 28

i would be freaking too and totally disgusted!

your husband washed his butt crack with that.... and they think its ok to put it on the babys face!?!?!?!? I DONT THINK SO

Wow 9 thumbs down... thats impressive!

Answer 29

it doesn't sound like a huge deal. don't sweat the small stuff.  

Answer 30

I think that would gross me out too!  I would be pretty upset that they would go into the shower at all.  I am sure that you have many other things that would not have been so gross to clean him up with.  I don't think that your son was hurt in any way, but I would have been mad too!

Answer 31

To be honest, I do think you are overreacting. How dirty can that washcloth be? I really wouldn't make a big deal of this. Yes, it's better to take a clean one or the one you use for him but, really, I think you should be grateful for the baby-sitting