Always angry at his mom... HELP! Make it stop!?

Question

It's sort of a long story, and please don't think I'm being stupid, just give me some good old advice.

I live with my boyfriend and have for quite a while. We're both still young so he of course still lives with his mom. It doesn't bother me. At first it was half with his family and half at my apartment on college campus.

Last year he lost his dad, who was the closest person to him in his house. Then, six months later, he lost his house to a wildfire. Then, six more months later, he lost his last grandparent. Both people died of cancer. So it's been hard on him. I've always been there for him.

However, now that things have settled down, his family is now renting and not taking care of Grandma anymore. And now, his mom has reverted to not caring about her two boys. My boyfriend gets it far worse though. She doesn't seem to care about him at all.

I get soooo angry at her because of it. We were supposed to move out a while ago but because of different things coming up, we aren't getting out of here for several more weeks. And I just want to rip her head of on certain days. The anger has just been built up to the point where I am tired and it hurts. I just wish it would go away, but she's just so bad. She will get money because of the house burning and then she'll spend half the week with her "secret boyfriend" which is obvious to everyone, gambling. And she'll make tons of money. She won't get a job, she won't take my boyfriend along, she won't even talk to him. He's mad at her but I think he still wants her love so bad he puts it behind him all the time.

Someone please help me learn to relax and not be so angry. She isn't a bad person, she just drives me crazy when she treats my boyfriend so horribly. Is there anything I can do to stop being so mad and just make things seem insignificant? The anger is starting to leak over to my boyfriend and I'm afraid it'll ruin what we have...

P.S. I know he's the one, so don't tell me to leave him. Ok?

Answer 1

It is time to sit her down and tell her, that her actions are hurting her son. She needs a dose of reality. Maybe by you talking to her, it will open her eyes.

Answer 2

I think you should talk to the mom..... sternly and meanly...!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

How do we control our anger? We cannot control how and when we get angry but we can control and choose what we want to do with our anger. If we know that we fly off the handle easily, there are ways that we can do to manage it.  

http://selfempoweredwoman.com/36/why-we-...

Answer 4

It is natural to feel this way when a person you care about is being treated that badly by a parent.

I believe that all these events that has happened has taken a toll on both of them. The mother wants to drown her sorrows in gambling and your bf just wants to help but is getting rejected.

It's understandable that you get really mad over this but what can you really do? Both of them need their time apart to recuperate over the losses. Instead, try to understand his mother's point of view. Once you are able to succeed in doing that, you will understand so much more on why she acts the way she does.