Three mice are sitting in a bar.
The first mouse takes a swig of his beer and says "I'm a bad-a*s mouse, I'm so tough that in my neighborhood we have these big mouse traps. I walk up to them, grab the cheese, catch the bar and press it up and down with one arm while I eat the cheese. I'm a bad a*s mouse."
The second mouse takes a couple swigs of his beer and says "Sh*t that's nothin'. In my neighborhood we have that rat poison sh*t, and I grab it and eat, drink it in my water and gargle with it. It ain't nothin. I'm a bad a*s mouse."
The third mouse chugs his beer, gets up and starts walking away. The other two look at him and say "Where are you going?" The third mouse looks at the other two and says "I'm going home to scr*w the cat."
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