Am I Really Lucky or What!?

Question

With increases in food and gas prices I've struggled with a nose-dive in disposable income (like so many other people).

But just now I received a letter from a Mr. Moyo, who apparently wants me to invest 20.5 million dollars from Zimbawe!!!!! The amzing thing is that I don't even know Mr. Moyo and yet he is kind enough to offer me 25% of all that money if I just help him out.

To be honest, I realy have very little experience investing money. On occassion I will attempt to balance my checkbook.

So I'm really amazed at my luck!!!

Has anybody else had such luck?

Answer 1

Wow!  You are so lucky.  Hey, I have had quite a bit of experiance in this matter - I'm an accountant.  If you want me to help you with this, I'd gladly offer my assistance free of charge!

Please contact me at I_won'[e-mail].

Edit:  Goddamn, the other answerers are thick...  He was obviously joking, he expected jokey answers.  As normal, it was fun until the stupid people joined.

Answer 2

Just imagine if that bank robber in 'Dirty Harry' had been clairvoyant.

Big morning decision: next thing, he's lying on the ground looking back and forth from the nearby gun to Clint making that speech about his 44 Magnum at him, wishing to h**l he'd had more faith in his gift and stayed in bed watching TV.  Come to think of it, maybe that was what WAS on that poor SOB's mind when his eyes were shifting back and forth under the steely gaze, staring up the barrel.  "Am I lucky?" says Clint -- and the guy is just thinking how ironic it is that at the possible last moment of his life, he'd be thinking about Bob Barker, of all people.  No wonder he didn't go for it, and gave up.

Answer 3

Haha  This is a good way to educate people about scams like this one.  The check will  bounce and you will be laughed out of the bank.   Don't do it.

PS I think you already know this.

Answer 4

Oh just give them your bank account number, home address, and social security number and they can deposit the money right into your account!!

Or they will just steal your identity and life savings.  

Worth the risk, eh?!

Answer 5

U r joking right.... Coz if ur not... ur really... really... really... gulable

Answer 6

...are you serious? Probably not, as the amount of money is very high (who has 20.5 million dollars?) but if you are serious:

I'm sorry to break it to ya dude, but this is a scam. Don't send any information or any money to ANYONE from Mr. Moyo's company(does he have a company, or...?) or Mr. Moyo himself DON'T TRUST HIM, no matter what.

Answer 7

Hemp, that's wonderful!

I usually don't tell everyone, but I have the best luck in the galaxy. When I'm shopping, the salespeople always tell me that if I buy one item, they'll give me one FREE! And everyday when I'm on the internet, I win a free ipod! I have about 50 gazillion ipods, but, as a music-lover, I can never have enough. I tell you, it's a wonderful world!  

BTW, "investing" is for monkeys in suits. Just do what I do: bury your money in the garden, and grow money trees!

It really works! I can even send you a book telling you how to do it. For free! You think that's a great deal? Call now and you also get this free video, all for free! Call *right* now and we'll throw in a Mickey Mouse squeegee, for the extra-low one-time-only price of FREE!

Now all I need is your credit card number. :-)

Answer 8

Afta' peekin' in my diary, I do declare, I've been blessed by some real lucky stars, what happened some years afta' a visit from the breast fairy.  But that's anotha' story entirely...

Monday May 4

The cat ate my baby brotha' today. Mama said it was an accident, but the cat looked fine to me. Only spit up once or twice.

Afta' dinna' at KFC we all had our usual family goin's on.  Grandpappy took a spill in the parlor.  Drunk agin but at least he didn't spit up like the cat which was a real big relief for Mama.  An' Mama got real mad too like she always does when no one cleans up their messes. Food an' chunks of lil' Eustace's ear an' empty gun shells ev'rywhere. Mama asked if our arms an' legs are painted on?  She keeps askin' us all, "won't somebody clean up those crusty bloodstains ova' the entertainment centa'?"  We all fight lots when the t.v. is on. But Papa cleaned up his firearms in the kitchen AGIN which got the whole family a flutterin and a feudin'. In no time, we're gonna be off probation, an' Papa knows he shouldn't clean his guns when everyone's fussin' an' fightin'.

Mama asked Aunt Prissie ova' for Sunday dinna' too. She said, "Fine.  As long as you folks ain't cookin'."  

Tuesday May 5

It was one of those tough days when regular folks might declare the wrong side of the bed was got up from.  But now we're talkin' about folks with beds, ain't we?

I think Clawed the darn cat was the worst off.  Had to git him wormed yesta'day.  Somethin' he ate, accordin' to the vet. Then the dog sniffed him when we got him home. Took a chunk right outta him, an' Mama says we'll need to get the worms outta Sparky now too. Clawed slept for the rest of the day afta' that.  No wrong side of the bed when yer leg is near gnawed off.

Sparky has always had one of those wry smiles, unlike Grandpappy who comes by his rye smile honestly.  If dogs could talk, I bet ole Spark would cuss up a storm.  'specially when the neighbor kids come by to do their science 'speriments.  Papa always pulls out the guns for cleanin' when them kids drop in with their petrie dishes an' such. It's a nervous habit he says an' not a weird coincidence like Mama says.  The 'splosions seem to make his twitch go worse.  Then Sparky barks an' Grandpappy falls on his still an' knocks it ova'... an' then it's hard to make out the history of the blood stains.  Like, who bled where an' why.

I'd love to show you how Grandpappy hobbles 'round the parlor, but I'm still holdin' this crutch from the time Billy-Bob chased me 'round while we played axe tag.  Rememba' this if you don't rememba' nothin' at all:  neva' wear yer Mama's high heels when you're playin' axe tag.  It's nearly as bad as stickin' yer Papa's needle nose plya's in the light socket.

Happy trails to y'all.  That reminds me.  Now where did I put my darn horse agin?  Must've wandered o'er to one-eyed Bobby Sue's for a mess a' sugar beetles.

Jest anotha' typical day.

Wednesday:May 6

One-eyed Bobby Sue ain't doin' so well these days.  Says once she finds that eye Betty Sue poked out, there'll be no sleep ova's at her place no more.  She's thinkin' she'll git Betty Sue to try out her new rocket launcha', built for one an' packs a real wallop.  I don't think I'm gonna invite Betty Sue ova' here for no more indoor bonfires eitha'.

Today Mama said we all are a disk-funk-shun-all family.  There'd be a lot more funk in our house if Billy-Bob an' Bobby-Bill hadn't blown up the radio.  Blew it up real good, too.  The blast an' the smoke cleaned up most of the blood stains Grandpappy keeps leavin' all ova' the place though.  Papa wasn't happy 'cause it pretty near caught his gun case on fire.  Mama says Papa won't eva' be happy an' he says of all the things he eva' lost, the thing he misses the most is his mind.  How he eva' misplaced his mind beats me.

Thursday May 7

You'll be happy to know that Neigh the horse finally moseyed home.  Someone glued a sign to his rump which reads, "I ain't no neigh-saya', I'm jest a malcontent."  But Grandpappy says his grand mal seizures seem betta' now he ain't drinkin' a quart a Jack Daniels a'fore breakfast.  Mama says it's all in his head.  Papa don't think so, but he's been busy buildin' his bomb shelta', so us kids know betta' than to ask too many questions.  He says we're moles planted by the C-I-A.  But the pesticide fella sprayed last week jest like he does every week... an' he says all the darn varments are gonzo.

Where's Gonzo by the way?  Still in therapy?

Friday May 8

:

Clawed got anotha' beatin' today.  Mama says half a leg gone ain't no excuse for what he done.  He killed our hamsta' dead.  Well, not killed really... seems Spike committed suicide 'cause a Clawed sniffin' an' nibblin' him all the time..  Jumped clear off the re-fridga'-ator an' plunged into the empty rifle shells Papa keeps leavin' 'round.  Mama's still mighty agitated that we don't clean up our messes, 'specially Papa.  Says she postin' a sign that says, "Clean up yer own messes.  Yer Mama don't work here no more."  Grandpappy says it's Mama's way of blowin' off steam, but I dunno.  I think she's still sore I broke her only pair of high-heels playin' axe tag agin.  Good thing she neva' said a word about trippin' ova' my crutches...

But we got real lucky 'cause some real nice fella stopped by the place t'day an' delivered us a letta' from anotha' nice fella by the name of Ed McMahon.  HE says we done won a million dollahs.  Grandpappy says the first thing he's gonna buy hisself is a new still.  Mama says that ain't likely gonna happen 'cause she wants one of them new fangled va-coom cleanas.  An' a maid to come in an' clean once a month.  Whetha' it needs it or not.  An' maybe even a new ear for lil' Eustace, too.    

Why, we got to be the luckiest bunch of coots this side of the Mason Dixon line...  

Yer Mista' Moyo sure sounds like a right good fella too.  But don't this beat all when there's jest so much luck in the world, that you done run inta lucky folks right here too?

Ed it (who IS this ED fella anyway?):

As luck would have it, I gotta mention 'bout Aunt Prissie.  She done got herself a publishin' contract!  Seems she was real fed up with comin' here for Sunday suppas and leavin' hungry.  So she decided to write herself a cookbook, somethin' 'bout cooking with powa' tools. Bless her heart, she even die-vulged her famous fixin's for goat an' ground hog stew ("Awl's you need is a long pointy stick and a flame throwa", she says).  Well, don't you know it?  Some folks in the North liked them recipes so much, they done paid Aunt Prissie TWO million dollahs.  Now don't that beat all get out?  You jest gotta know when luck knocks at the front door, ain't it jest as likely fortune's a'comin' up the rear too?

It kinda makes me think on what my Mama's Grandpappy always used to say, "As long as you got a hole in yer @$$, you'll neva' be satisfied."

Answer 9

ok well first of all this is probably a scam... a huge scam.... also 20.5 million zimbabwe dollars is equal to about 30 cents or so in U.S. Dollars.....

Answer 10

Mr. Moyo is probably from Nigeria. The spelling is usually bad and they'll usually ask you to transfer money through Western Union.

Answer 11

Naive.

Answer 12

Only one offer, I get at least 5 a day,despite keeping on feeding my spam filter.If I can ask a question in the answer section ,Has the spam filter got intestinal worms? Also is there a quick way to open the tins? The wire key type always seems to break!!!!

Answer 13

dont do it! Its a scam. The checks he will send u are fraud and once u cash them and send him the money u will never here from him again and u will be responsible for all the money u took from the bad checks. Unless u plan on spending alot of money and time in jail say no to Mr.Mayo and give the police his info so it doesn't happen to someone else gullible.

Answer 14

lmao..yes, at least 6 times a day I get mail telling me that I have won the UK lottery, am owed money from Nigeria etc. If I wasn't so lazy I would collect it and be worth millions.

Answer 15

So you think you're LUCKY, huh; just wait till you read MY letter from Mrs. Kiram Tanglao Merriam [ :-) ]  :

MRS KIRAM TANGLAO MERRIAM

CREDIT ACCOUNTS OFFICER

HEAD OFFICE BANCO DE ORO UNIVERSAL BANK

12 ADB AVENUE, ORTIGAS CENTER, MANDALUYONG CITY

PHILIPPINES.

Good Day,  Let me start by introducing myself, I am MRS KIRAM T. MERRIAM, CREDIT ACCOUNTS OFFICER BANCO DE ORO UNIVERSAL BANK. I am writing you this letter based on the latest development at my bank, which I will like to bring to your personal edification. I am writing you this letter with so much joy and excitement even though my heart goes out to the very powerful and distinguished gentleman who I was fortunate to have worked for and extremely privileged to have known for numerous years. I am a top official in charge of client accounts in BANCO DE ORO UNIVERSAL BANK inside the Philippines.  In 2001, my client was going through a horrendous divorce in the United States of America and was on the verge of losing most of his estate to his vicious and diabolical wife. As a result of this alarming predicament, my client came to me with a very brilliant idea. He transferred some funds, ten million two hundred thousand dollars ($10.2m) to a fixed deposit account in my bank under an alias which only the two of us knew about as the confidentiality of the matter was necessary for his protection.  Due to his untimely death in early 2002, the funds have been sitting in the account ever since and will continue to do so perpetually unless we do something about it. This is where you come in. I located you through an agency that helps seek people by their email. My client did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I would like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to our client so that you will be able to receive his funds. I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we can come out successful. I have contacted an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to my client. All that is required from you at this stage is for you to provide me with your Full Names and Address so that the attorney can commence his job.  After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also file in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favor for the move of the funds to an account that will be provided by you. There is no risk involved at all in the matter as we are going adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents. The allocation of our money will be as follows: 20%($2.02m) to you for your part in this, 75% for me and my partners and 5% for any unforeseeable expenses we may incur.  As you can see this is easier than taking candy from a baby, but mind you, trust is something that is developed over time and that is something that we do not have. So I have to let you know that it will highly unfeasible to try to run away with the money because even though only you can transfer money in and out of your account, the transfer can only be authorized by my department of which i happen to be the head. The money will be transferred from my bank to an account you will provide. So please, there should be no room for greed because ten million two hundred thousand dollars can quench even the most insatiable desire for the almighty dollar.  Your urgent response is highly anticipated so please email me through this email; ([e-mail]) on this transaction as soon as possible. This should be kept very secret and confidential. I believe you know.  

Kind Regards,

Mrs. Kiram T. Merriam. <--- [BTW: This last Full Stop Mark here was the ONLY thing that made me question the validity of the offer!   ... LM(millionaire)AO! ]

.

Answer 16

Yes!  the amazing part was they said a relative WITH MY SAME LAST NAME had died and left me a very large sum of money!  Now this was so unusual, as my last name is not a regular one, but hey, I was very excited.

But, since these are virtually all scams, I discarded the communique and went back to work, as should you.

Answer 17

I don't know if you should do that if you don't know anybody with that name?!?!

SRRY!

BUT IF IT WORKS OUT U R REALLY LUCKY!

Answer 18

i think this may be a scam, i got somethin like this in my e-mail a while back. then my uncle got it too.

Answer 19

One more scam.............run, Forest, RUN!!!!!!!!

Answer 20

Dude! Go for it... or, if you like, I could help?

I have had grrrrreat success with my 401K, honest.

Answer 21

a lady from Dubai has offered to give me 10 million, hopefully this is not another scam

Answer 22

I guess you must be happy by some  getting money with someone you don't which I could call luck and I never had That exact thing nobody offer me that but i had some lucky thing happen to me

Answer 23

Wow, you are lucky!! This sounds like a sure thing so hurry up before this offer slips thru your fingers.  And when you get done, I have some swamp land for sale in Florida.

Answer 24

i would becareful this Mr.Moyo might not even exist it might be a prank or scam

Answer 25

sounds too good to be true. I would think this is a fraud.... I will investigate and find out a little more about this Mr. Moyo man.

Answer 26

You're not as lucky as me. To this day I can count at least seven different offers from Nigeria, totaling well over One Hundred Million dollars, and numerous offers from all over Asia and Northern Africa. I think I'll start my own oil rigging business and help lower the price of gas. How about you?

Answer 27

IT A SCAM AND DON""T SEND THEM MONEY DID YOU WATCH 20/20 IT HARD TO MAKE MONEY AND IT VERY SAD WHEN SOME PEOPLES WANT TO EARN IT THE EASY WAY