Am I Too Young to be doing all of this....?

Question

I am 17 years old and engaged to the "love of my life". I will be 18 next year and going off to college. I have a whole plan for myself, and i want to have a baby next year with my fiance. I have two jobs right now and I am a senior in high school. I know i am too young to be doing all of this, but i feel that i can do it all and still be successful and get through school. So am i too young to be handling such a load????

Answer 1

If your having to ask this, it's probably because you already know the answer. Your plans are admirable, but you are way overloading yourself. If you plan to go off to college, have a baby before your twenty, and be married, you'll probably be in divorce court before your 21. Take life a little slower and give things a chance to fall into place in their right time. Think about what it's going to be like doing all of this as a single mother. Talk about pressure; and consider how fortunate a child is with both of it's birth parents in the home. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Of course you are, you are robbing yourself of your youth and the you are robbing the child of parents that are really ready to parent.

Answer 3

yes!!! yes!!! yes!!! you are way to young. have fun in college enjoy your life as married women... just be sure you want to get married. college will be fun you don't want a baby to get in the way of that. get your life to were you want it before you have a baby.. they are hard work! i'm 23 married and have a 15 month old son (and would not change that for the world). but given another chance i would have gone to college and completed my education. after that i would without in doubts married my husband and have my son. good luck either way love your life and take every day one at a time!

Answer 4

Sleep deprivation can happen studying for exams, completing projects, and from partying too late.  This can wipe you out.

Sleep derivation can also happen with young children/babies. This can wipe you out.

Id hate to double that.

Answer 5

I'd wait on the baby, because they always have a way of changing your plans. What if you had twins, or triplets? Would you really want to trust the fruit of your loins to a sitter while you have classes, and afterwards when you have a 30 page research paper due in 4 days, cause that's all the time the professor gave you? Not to mention you'd be exhausted and probably miss a lot of classes and not retain as much information as you should because you spent all night up with your baby, for the past 4 months straight? My neighbor tried that, she timed it so she would only miss 2 weeks of classes, and she hasn't gone back yet, and it's been over a year. What if your baby gets sick and can't go to daycare? It's better to be settled before planning a child. Plus, you'll have rent to pay because you won't be living on campus(although many require you to live there at least a semester), diapers to buy, all the stuff you need for school, and the ridiculously overpriced textbooks, lab fees, food needs and whatnot. I think it can be done, but if you have a choice, don't do that to a child. They need a lot of love and care the first few years especially, and you'll always feel guilty when you missed his/hers first steps, first words, first time to the doctor. College schedules aren't that flexible, especially since the colleges pick them for the first year. All I did my first semester was go to class and make friends. By the second semester all we did was run around like crazy people going from class to work to party to sleep for an hour and back to class again, and I wouldn't change that experience for the world. There was no way I could of fit a baby into that crazy schedule too. And if you do do it, since it can be done, you may very well come to resent the child because you missed out on a lot you could of, should of, done before settling into a family life.

Good luck!  

Answer 6

i know everyone is going to say this but slow down marry him if its what you want but wait for a stable job before having kids.my sisters friend is engaged and has a baby but she also has no life slow down and live your life to the fullest.

Answer 7

Honey, you have your whole life ahead of you!  If you really feel that you are ready for all that - just be content being engaged for awhile.  Life changes so much in college, if you guys make it through it still together than start your family.  Get your education done and spend time together.  You have all the time in the world to plan the rest of your life, take it easy and enjoy life and each other!  Having a baby so young is hard.  Travel, eat crazy things, go through some rough times, get some life experiance between the two of you first!  Good Luck & don't be in such a rush!!      

Answer 8

Though you will do whatever you want to do, I have to tell you, you need to wait.  You are not pregnant yet, thank goodness, so you still have alot of choices and options.  It is incredibly difficult to get through college, support yourself, plan a wedding....adding a baby to all of that is setting yourself up for a good chance at failure.  Get through school, get a job, make a living for yourself, and then, if you're in a committed relationship (married would be best) then decide if you want to have a baby.  what if it doesn't work out with your boyfriend?  You two are so young anything can happen.  I know you want to believe it's forever, but honestly, statistics show that the odds are against you. And do you really want to deal with being a single mom if you don't have to??

Answer 9

Yes you have a long life ahead of you. Slow down take your time and enjoy it.

Answer 10

i would say, you are not too young to be married, or to have 2 jobs, or to go to school. i got married at 17 and loved it then, and now. but we waited 3 and half years to have kids. give yourselves time to be with each other, and to have fun together. then later on, when you're more settled, have a baby. its not really whether or not you are ready for a baby, but whether or not you are prepared to have a baby. you want to give your children everything they need, and working 2 jobs and going to school is hard enough without a baby.

Answer 11

well for me that would b very hard! ha ha. but if you think you can handle it go for it. I'm sure you will be happy! =]

Answer 12

I think you can handle it if u say u can and ur WELL AWARE of the laundrylist of responsibilities u will have the SECOND u bring a life into this world.

If you know u can handle it..with school and 2 jobs (which by ITSELF is already a heavy load) AND ontop of that a marriage and a baby...???

If u HONESTLY think ur ready, go ahead. But if I were in your shoes, I'd say to wait a bit for the baby. Try finishing up school and then have the baby...that way, your life will be a breeeeeze!!! Take your time, and stop to smell the roses. You're 17 not 71....u have your ENTIRE life ahead of u.

Either decision u make: I really hope you the best for you and ur future family, many blessings to you!! And when u have the baby, whenever that may be...be the BEST MOM EVER. Love your child and ALWAYS believe in them.

=)

Answer 13

College alone will be hard enough as it is.  The work load is very over whelming in itself.  I'm currently in college and, I know it would be near impossible for me to do that and have a child.  I had to hold back on my hours at work just to get homework done.

     The best thing to do is just earn your money and pay off school upfront.  You don't want to be in dept to school and try to provide for your family.   School is expensive as it is.  You should try to graduate within 4 to 5 years by going to school full time.  Part-time will only make you spend more money and more years in school.  

     You don't need that type of strees.  I wouldn't try to have children so soon.   You will stretch your time thin.  Continue your education and get a good job.  Otherwise, you won't have time and you'll be irriated, and that won't be fair to you or your children.

Answer 14

I think we all agree you're a very good girl and a hard worker, i mean you go to school and manage to handle 2 jobs.

You should be very proud of yourself. I gotta be honest thought, a baby is a big big huge responsibility! I had my baby when i was 24 yrs old and now i am so scared to have another one. You need to understand that a baby requires all your attention and time let alone money! Babies are super expensive and you don't need that right now. You're barely going to be 18, if you are going to get married you need to think on having a career, being successful and making sure you can provide for your kid.

Enjoy life first, experience, study, so that later on in life you can be a mommy, a great mommy who can be an example for her kids!

I wish you good luck and i hope you make the right choice.

Answer 15

u absolutely r. a baby isn't like a new car...I'd rather have that when I go off to college.  think about a baby after college and marriage...if u and your "fiance" get that far.

Answer 16

You are 17... how do you know he is the love of your life?  Slow down and enjoy being a young adult.  Enjoy college, enjoy your 20's!  Don't rush yourself into adulthood.  Honestly, you will NOT be ready for this as much as you convenience yourself that you are.  Don't let him rush you into this, either.  Take time to enjoy life and have a baby AFTER you have finished college, been married at least a few years and have a career started or at least in it mid-stream.  I had my first child at 33 and am SO glad I waited to get married & have children.

Answer 17

if you have to ask then yes!! you should do your schooling.,,get married and have a baby when you both are ready

Answer 18

if you think you can handle it all then go for it but if you are having doubts, then wait. you know the answer yourself, you just have to find it.

Answer 19

You say, "I know i am too young to be doing all of this, but i feel that i can do it all and still be successful and get through school," but would it be fair to a baby.  To have your time spread so thin that you can not focus enough attention on them.  I was in college in my mid 20's and had a preschool age son and it liked to drove me crazy.  College is hard enough and when you add a job you're really taking on a work load.  Raising a baby is extremely hard work and expensive.  At your age no doubt you believe you have it all planned out, but trust me.  Things never go as planned.  

I was engaged early, too, to a man that I thought was sent by God.  We had our lives planned out to the "T".  Things didn't go as planned.  I've been married to an actual God sent man for over 10 years and we have a beautiful 8 yr old boy, but it didn't happen w/ my 1st fiance.  Nothing we planned happened.  The love we had just wasn't enough.  We never even married.  

Trust me.  Take it easy and slow.  Life will happen and if you rush it it can blow up in your face.

Answer 20

You are not too young too be handling such a load.

You are however too young to be bringing a baby into the world at the same time you are handling such a load.

Answer 21

you answered your own question...yes!!

Answer 22

If I were you, I would wait until I was out of college and had a degree. It is a lot easier to get through school without a child. Also, if you wait, you will have a little more financial security when you bring a baby into this world. The costs associated with raising children are extremely high. We waited to have children until we were financially stable so they wouldn't have to worry about anything while growing up. Best of luck to you! :o)