Am I a BAD FATHER for this?

Question

My daughter recently wants to go everywhere with me. I can't run down to the store for five minutes without her begging and pleading to come along. Most of the time, I do take her along, but sometimes I JUST WANNA BE ALONE. My wife says this makes me a "jerk" and "selfish". I think everybody needs to be be themselves sometimes. What do you guys think?

Answer 1

I understand how you feel.  Everyone does need to be alone sometimes.

The question is: do you give your wife alone time?  Does she every get to go to the store (or to lunch with a friend) while you are in charge?  If so, then wanting some alone time while on an errand is perfectly reasonable.  If not, perhaps the two of you can work out a trade-off.

All the best.

Answer 2

you do need alone time.  

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone at times.  Everyone needs a break, even moms and dads.  I try to get out of the house at least twice a week without the kids and if I can't then I find time for myself in other ways.

Answer 4

i agree with you i have a four year old sister that has to go every where with me and i need time to my self so thank god for school and my mom for watching my son

Answer 5

We all need a break, of course we do - and we're better parents for having one.

Just one thought, though. Are you out at work all day, and is your wife at home with your daughter? If so, don't forget that you're 'getting a break' all day! I know it may not feel like it, but if you get to eat your lunch in a quiet corner, I bet it's more than she does!

Good luck, and enjoy your time both with and without your daughter.

Answer 6

I agree you need some alone time. I don't understand why your wife doesn't understand it's not like you are trying to take a vacation with out her just going to the store. my husband and I both take time to our selves sometimes together so we bring our 3 year old to my moms or to his parents.  

Answer 7

Everyone needs a little me-time.. so no, you are not a bad father for wanting to be alone every now and then.

Answer 8

I think your wife should respect that everyone needs a little 'me' time.  You are not wrong or selfish or abnormal.  Sometimes we all need a breather.

Hang in there!

Answer 9

Sorry I think your wife is a dipstick, She calls you a jerk & selfish for wanting necessary time to yourself? Your not just a dad...your a person too. You have every right to alone time..

I think you need to re-evaluate your relationship with this woman.

Answer 10

Well, you're saying that most of the time you take her along...so obviously you do spend time with her a lot of the time, which is good! :)  But let's face it, sometimes errands are easier without our children along as well.  And, yes, you do deserve some time without your child...every parent does.  And when you take your daughter then MOM gets alone time, does she not?  So, I'd think she'd understand.

I guess I do have one question though...is mom at home all day with your daughter?  Is she a stay at home mom?  If that is the case then it could be that you taking your daughter with you is literally the only time SHE gets alone...in which case I'd be inclined to think that maybe you c/should take her along so mom can have some down time as well...but even still, not doing so wouldn't make you a jerk or selfish.  Also, if that's the case, that she's a stay at home mom with her own needs of alone time, she should be honest and, instead of making it about your failings, be truthful about her needs.

So I'm thinking:

IF she's a stay at home mom and is with your daughter all day, everyday then y'all should talk about the real issue at hand to hopefully come to a compromise - such as maybe once a week you could take your daughter for a daddy/daughter date so mom can have some down time.  

But...IF she's not a stay at home mom that is with your daughter all day, everyday then she should really lighten up and understand that sometimes you're going to take your daughter and she can have down time and other times you're not going to for your peace of mind as well.

Good luck to you! :)

Answer 11

You need your time away also I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting some alone time

Answer 12

YOU JERK!! Just kidding..you are entitled to your time alone as is the mother!  You'll go crazy if you dont take "you time".  I always feel awful when my son freaks out when im leaving without him...but he usually gets over it in a few minutes after im gone.

Answer 13

Nope, u need some time alone and besides, why do u give in to her all the time. She need to learn that she can't have her way all the time. That's not selfishness. Thats good parenting. You're not a jerk. Sorry, but your wife is. She needs time alone too, Why don't you go out on a date with your wife and get a sitter for the kid. Wouldn't a Grandparent like to baby sit for a couple of hours?

Answer 14

I think you should treasure every minute now, while you can..Later on, she won't want anything to do with you, then how are you going to feel.

I would not say that you are a BAD father, just be alone when she is in bed or something. Cherish the love she has for you.

Answer 15

I agree with you 100 %..Does your wife take her everywhere she goes?

Answer 16

i agree with you my 3 year old follows me every were and if i say to my husband just have her for a min he thinks im selfish.

Answer 17

There is nothing wrong with you needing some time for yourself.  Selfish would be if you were always gone and never around.  Just going to the store or on a quick errand without her does not make you either a jerk or selfish.