Am I a bad best friend?

Question

So my best friend has been broken up w/ this guy for 6 months now and these past 6 months I have been listening her cry over him over and over again. He keeps telling her that they will get back together but he's going around telling other girls that he loves them and he wants to be with them. So i gave her my advice and told her to cut him loose never talk to him again and that being friends isn't working out so she needs to get him outta her life. But she won't listen and im tired of listening to her complain about him when shes only hurting herself more and more. So is it bad of me to be tired of hearing about her problem...when i gave her my advice and she won't take it??

Answer 1

Nope...

Answer 2

Your the Best kind of Best Friend,

You did the right thing being straight up, and it seems to me like you have been very patient with her.  She needs to come to the reality that he hurt her, so she can heal, if she doesn't heal she'll just get bitter against every guy.

She's blessed to have you as her friend and that you are still there for her despite the distance.

It's also apparent that he's keeping this illusion going in her mind, which means he's doing the same thing to other girls.  Just sit tight, keep listening, she'll realize for herself real soon, when this guys game backfires on him, and some girl does the same thing to him.

It's so amazing how driven we are to find a mate.  How afraid we are of being alone and rejected.  I remember my years in dating scene and all of the effort and anxiety I experienced trying to find "the one."  Little did I know that It wouldn't be until I was in my thirties that I would finally find the one for me.  If I had only known that, I would have invested all my energy into my other aspirations, instead of a whole lot of painful, useless relationships and wasted time.  Anyways, hope this helps.

Ephraim

Answer 3

a bad friend for telling her the truth?

She is the one who is being blind and not seeing it for what it is.

Let her cry and just be there when she needs ya meenwhile leave her alone when she wants to cry.

Answer 4

You know, people tend to ask for advice only when they know the answer and the answer isn't something they want to hear. Also, people ask for advice and never listen to them. But it is not in our rights to force the advice seeker to take our advice given because it's their life they may be s******g up.

I don't think it's bad of you to be tired of hearing her problems. I have my 20 year old sister always whining about still having braces and it never stops. I know people that make a fuss out of the smallest thing--like their mom forgetting that it was macaroni night and not pizza night *rolls eyes*

Seriously, this is what I would do: set up a face-to-face talking time with her alone in a private spot. Ask her how her life has been for the past 6 months and tell her frankly how it's been for you for the last 6 months. Tell her that you want her to know that you, as her friend, want the best for her and that you love her dearly but you can't stand to see her getting hurt over and over again by this guy that's a complete jerk. Tell her exactly what he's doing: holder her on a thread as a back up while hitting on other girls out there. Tell her that she doesn't deserve to be treated that way and that she shouldn't have to be so stressed and upset over a guy that isn't worth the time and effort. Tell her that you really want her to consider it when you tell her that she should minimize contact with this guy and move on from him--don't let his words influence her because his words may just be written on a wind and their meaning lost the next second.

If she still doesn't listen, flat out tell her that you've done all you can and as much as you love her, you can't take any of her "grieving" anymore because it's driving you crazy.

She'll get around in time and if she's smart enough of a friend, she'll realize what you were saying all along.  

Answer 5

You are right.  She needs to dump him completely and get on with her life.   It's not helping her by letting her cry and moan and groan about it everyday.

If she starts on the subject, change the subject.  If she continues, say you have to go.  Keep doing this consistantly and she'll get the message you don't want to hear about it any more.

Answer 6

no u are actually being a true friend: because true friends tell the truth even when it hurts.. eventually she will realize that u were right  

Answer 7

no0o it isnt.... as long as you tell her this in a kind way so she doesnt think your shutting her out...you should be honest and straight foward...just say how it hurts you to see her this way and if she isnt going to listen to your advice dnt bother telling me about it...stuff like that...but be kind she is your best friend  

Answer 8

NO u r being a good friend by telling her the truth.and if she is a true friend she will understand that  enough is enough. i have been threw this with a friend of mine, and she may get mad at you about it for a bit but she will get over it. i promise . don't get me wrong listing is a part of being a good friend but u need to tell her " hey i love you, I'm your friend, and I'm here for you when ever you need, but i have told you what i think about him ,and what i think you should do. but I'm tired of seeing you hurt, and tired of hearing about it."  truth hurts sometimes but it needs to be said. and thats what makes you true friends. if not, it may cause bigger problems between you two.  

Answer 9

no, you gave her the best advice you could...and she didn't take it.  So what.  You're being a good friend by giving her the advice....she doesn't have to listen to you...be a good friend and accept that without getting hurt that she didn't listen.  

That doesn't mean you have to listen to this garbage over and over.  If she starts going on about this guy, just excuse yourself and leave.  Pretty soon, she might get the idea that is not an acceptable topic around you.  Or you could just tell her up front that you don't want to hear about that guy and then change the subject to something good.

Answer 10

no....your a normal friend...your annoyed rite...well friedns HAVE to be there for their friends.....so dont give up on her....shes been thro a lot...so do you know what...if i were you i would go up to her and be firm and say...i am sick and tierd of you just doing nothing except crying over some guy that doesnt even care about you. and since you dont listne to me i am gonna make you. either you tell this guy to get out of your life or i am. and i am serious. i will. and blah blah blah....you have to be firm with her because otherwise she wont care. i mean life doesnt waite for anyone....and doesnt stop at all...so if shes stuck in the past then shes wasting time in the future....in otherwords....SHE COULDA HAD ANOTHER GUY BY NOW! and if i were you i would go up to that guy...and since he messed with ur friend its time for you to mess him up...seriously...you tell him off in public (around the girls he always goes up to) and say that he said he was getting back together with ur friend....but she dumped him because hes a total jerk...blah blahblah...anyhows good luck!

Answer 11

NO, i had that situation happen to me... it's like listening to a broken record. Just simply say listen you need to not dewell on him, I'm not going to let you talk about him so you stop thinking about him and let's go meet and talk with new guys..