Am I a bad monther?

Question

Ok, I have a little boy, who I let stay at my parent’s house at least 2 nights a week. Some people act like I am a bad mother for this. I have been doing this since he was about 3 months old to kinda give me a little break to clean house and things of that nature, and I think it also helps with toddler separation anxiety. But my parents lost their little boy (my brother) in a car accident, so I think it makes them a little closer to my son, and he is their first grandson too. And I totally trust them because they are very protective of him and you can just see it in their eyes that he lights up their world and they love him to pieces! So am I a bad mother for letting my son stay 2 nights a week with his grandparents??? I am SOOO sick of peoples comments (family)!!!!

Answer 1

no you are not a bad mother! My son who is 3 spent 4-5 days a week at grandma's house. He loved it there and I figured when he started school that he wouldn't be able to see her as much so i let him go whenever he wanted. I also want to say that we never know what can happen and in my situation his grandma passed away a few months ago.( She had a stroke while she was reading him a story. ) I am so glad that i did not limit the time he spent at her home because those are memories that he will have for a long time.  With anyone the sad truth is that we don't know when the last time we will get to see them is. So let your son love and be loved as much as he can by his grandparents you never know when their time will come. and tell anyone that tells you any different to shut their mouth.

Answer 2

that doesnt make you a bad mother to let your son stay at his grandparents house 2x a week. I could see if you ditched him 5-6 days a week, but you dont. Let people say what they want to, just ignore them. Really its nobodys business but yours!

Answer 3

no of course not. probably a good thing to do.

Answer 4

No, you are a GREAT mother for doing this. Your son will not be dependent and clingy towards you later in life because he was around a variety of people growing up, not just you. He will probably be more social also. I think it's selfish for mother's to NEVER let anyone else take of their children. You are doing a great thing by letting him bond with other family members! =]

Answer 5

NO!!!

i have my nephew like average 3 nights a week!!

everyone needs a break!!

do your parents want to watch him??

Answer 6

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about this. You are not a bad mother- as a matter of fact in the long run it may make you a better mom, because you have a little down time.  If your parents were complaining ok, but they seem to be enjoying it.  If it is family making these remarks maybe your parents can say, "we love having our grandson over"- it is up to them to tell you it is too much,not someone else. As a matter of fact when my 2 were young- they spent one night a week at my mom's house, and all of us were better for it.

Answer 7

As a 23-year old mother of 1 (4-month old Ava) I ENVY you!!  What I would give for a night or two a week of getting things done around the house, kicking back, tying up loose ends.  I don't think desiring this or actually having it happen constitutes being a bad mom... but all in all... at the end of the day, the lack of "me-time" is part of parenting.  Getting it so easily might be part of the reason why you might be feeling guilty!!

Answer 8

I dont think your a bad parent at all. It gives you a break and it gives them joy, its not like you take off to get silly drunk or go do some blow. Some people just cant get past thier point of view, not to much to do to get people to stop from voiceing what they think no matter it wrong or not. But dont feel bad about how u raise your child, I went to my grandparents almost everyday when i was a child (so my mom could work) but there were many times i just stayed the night there my grandmother I still call mom when talking to my mother becoz i feel so close to both of them, it doesnt mess your child up by seeing your parents.

Answer 9

Honestly that doesnt make u a bad mother ... its ur son and their ur parents...ofcourse other ppl have other opinions and comments just by the fact that ppl have diffrent ways of parenting... ur the mother and i think that every mother LOVES their Kid and ur parents LOVE ur Kid ur not leaving him to STRANGERS... be strong and GOD BLESS ur family =]

Answer 10

How old is your son? If he is requesting to stay at your parents house than that's fine to a point. But if you are giving him no choice (basically dumping him off) just to get errands done then you might want to rethink what you're doing.

Do you stay home with him or is he in daycare? If he's in daycare and he stays off 2 days a week you need to get a grip.  Actually you need to get a grip anyway. 2 days a week so you can have a "break"  is ridiculous. I won't go so far as to say you are a bad mother because I don't know you but I will say from this post it sounds like you are a selfish mother.

Answer 11

you are not a bad mother at all dont worry about anything i think its accually a good thhing because he is really close to his grandparents.

Answer 12

no of course not! It meakes everyone happy so just tell everyone else not involved to can it. Now if your son wasn't enjoying this and you forced him to do this I'd question you a little...but if everyone involved is happy then just continue to do it.

Answer 13

No your not a bad mother ... people can shove the opinion of your parenting skills up their ***.

Answer 14

yes your a terrible mother i wouldnt be surpirsed if your kid ran away.

Answer 15

Well, I think it's fine as long as your parents don't mind.  If they have a problem with it... then of course I wouldn't do it.  If they love it, don't mind it at all...then I don't see a problem.  

Just as long as you're not just pawning off the kid every chance you get then I don't see a problem.

Answer 16

there is nothing wrong with this. If this is what you enjoy doing and your parents enjoy it I think it is great. This doesn't make you a bad mother. Don't let negative people make you feel bad for raising your kids the way you see best.

Answer 17

From just this I don't think you are a bad mother.  It is great you have someone to help you out.  For me personally I think 2 nights a week is about 1 night too many but if it's working for you then it's all good!

Answer 18

As long as it isn't tiring your parents out, I think it's great. It gives your son people other than you to interact with, and you get some of your own time.

You are not a bad mother at all. If people act like you are or imply that you are, ask them bluntly to give you the reasons why. I am sure that you will have a comeback to any of their reasons, and make sure to tell these people who are judging you that they really are in no place to be judging you. They are not in your place, and really, it's none of their business.

Answer 19

It sounds like you have a wonderful family. AS long  as everyone involved is enjoying it, leave it alone. Maybe these other complaining family are jealous for some reason. Ask them why this offends them, when no one is hurt by it.

Answer 20

You are doing nothing wrong , would these people say you were a bad parent if you lad was staying out so you could work ?? I doubt it , well if you do the bulk of your house work when he is safe and being loved by his grand parents then you have more quality time to spend with him

Answer 21

I see your reasoning here and it is very good, that is nice of you to be concerned for your parents and i am sure to them that it is almost like having a second chance at having a "son" although he is their grandchild~ I actually respect you for what u r doing because it shows that u care about them and are concerned for them , and want them to be able to possibly have a relationship to their grandson like thier own kid. As long as it is not a burden to them to have him and watch them then i think that you are not wrong at all. I actually admire you for being so adult about this and seeing that it may be what they need to help heal the pain that they have inside!

Answer 22

no its doesnt at all..i do it my cousin let her kids do it for that long.... we are moms not God... we are not perfect.... dont feel bad about it at all.... usually people that say stuff like that hasn't had kids... lol i was like that until i had a kid and now i love time to myself cuz it gets really hard sometimes

Answer 23

no you r not a bad mother. everyone needs sometime off and if you have been doing it forever...... why stop now??

Answer 24

I think it's great that your parents are helping you out. Don't let anyone tell you that 2 nights a week is bad. You could be like others and not take care of him at all. So don't let family and friends make you feel bad about it. As long as your parents and you are fine with 2 nights a week.

By the way you must be a good parent, otherwise you wouldn't have ask that question.

Answer 25

NO! if you were a working mom with a night job or a divorced mom, he would be spending a few nights a week with someone else anyway! PLUS he is building a priceless relationship w/ his grandparents! I only wish i could have had that kind of relationship w/ my grandparents unfortunately 1 dies before i was born 1 dies when i was 5 and 2 didnt live near me. So DO NOT let anyone tell you you're not a good mom. You are doing a great thing for your son!!! and he will thnak you for it someday too!