Am I a horrible person?

Question

I love helping others, its my passion, and its why I want to become a doctor someday. Its what I believe I was put on this Earth to do. I have extreme difficulty saying no to those I care about, and turning down someone in need. My aunt was telling me all about going to other countries and helping the less fortunate for a year, and she wanted me to do it. I couldn't do it. I feel like a horrible person now. I've always planned on going to college soon after high school, I've scrimped and saved every bit of my money for it, and so has my parents and even my grandparents as well. It would take a lot of my time and money to do this, time and money I was planning on devoting to going to college and becoming a doctor with. And I turned her down on her offer. I feel like a horrible person. I'm letting down less fortunates for my own benefit and it tears me up. Frankly... I just really don't want to go to a 3rd world country. And I'm letting down my aunt too... I feel awful.

Answer 1

Everyone else is soo right, do it after you become a doctor. and ya know what? You're only going to be happy doing what you want to be doing, and where you want to be! You're not  horrible person! You seem like an incredibly compassionate and caring person! DOn't let some busybody aunt make you feel otherwise!

Answer 2

She's trying to make you feel guilty.

If she thinks it's such a great idea--she can do it.

Answer 3

Yup. You sure are.

Answer 4

I don't blame you dude.

You need to tell your Aunt about your own plans, and make her see your way.  Don't let her make you feel guilty.

Answer 5

Traveling abroad as such would augment your college education.  Real-world experience counts.  Sounds to me like you're passing up an opportunity.

Answer 6

You can do both.  Consider joining or supporting Doctors Without Borders:

http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/

Tell your aunt that you'll be able to help them much better later.  If you don't want to personally go anywhere, you can still donate to them.

Answer 7

You have a very kind heart, and should not feel bad about saying no. You have a mission and you will most likely help many more people by going to collage.

When you do what you can to change things for the better and can't do anything more, leave the rest up to God in prayer and he will take care of it.

Answer 8

if you feel bad and don't want to go to other countries then make it up to yourself by helping here and from here like say sending money.

Answer 9

why don't you want to go to a 3rd world country?

Answer 10

It's your life. You do what you must.

Answer 11

The old saying goes, "Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."  If you go you will help the small number of people you meet, but as a doctor or an engineer you might discover something to help millions of people.

Answer 12

Your only responsibility to the world is never to take more than you've given. If you can do that, there's nothing horrible about you. If you want to do more than that, it's up to you.

Be careful with charity, though. If people learn to depend on taking more than they give, you might feel good when you see the smile on their faces, but they will wither without your handouts when you leave. People who don't provide for themselves will take and take forever. There are those who are unfortunate by circumstance, and then there are those who are "unfortunate" by choice. Sometimes a little misfortune is a valuable lesson.

Answer 13

OK, look at it this way:

IF you go to that country: You will be totally miserable and your heart will obviously not be there. You MIGHT wind up enjoying it, but the chance is about 20%

IF you don't go to that country: You and your other family's efforts won't be wasted. Besides, when you become a doctor, you will wind up helping them anyway, its just WHEN.

Answer 14

No you shouldn't feel bad.. it's tough to go out there for a whole year.. I would go after the goal and study medicine and become a doctor in your country. then perhaps you can go out for a few weeks to Africa or any third wold country once you are a doctor and join..''doctors without borders and once you are there you will see how much your help will be appreciated. also you will have gained a lot more knowledge and it won't bother you then to go.. because in your life as a doctor.. when you are a doctor.. you see a lot of good and you also see a lot of bad in your own country.. so give this time.. you should follow that ambition to become a doctor..  even if you become a family physician then you won't have to deal with a lot of tragedy..  you refer the people to specialists who have a more profound knowledge such as internists.. if a person has a real physical disease... and working as a family physician is hard work to study that.. but the cases there are not severe.. the doctor I go to.. all he does ever is give me a new prescription.. that's all or he checks my vital signs and for that you hardly need to become a doctor.. but there is a website where people rate their family physicians.. and the one my husband is going to he is really great.. he also used to be mine.. he really looks into things and he takes those 15 minutes every patient is entitled to.. and if you got depression or anxiety. he will help.. he will try anything in his power so there are good family physicians out there also who make a whole world of difference for the better to people.. and they can volunteer to work at a hospital one day a week or several days a week.. If you still believe that this is what you want to do.. doctors will never be out of work and once you are a doctor.. you can stomach going out to a third world countries and just join ''doctors without borders'' they don't stay a full year but they help where they can and there is no need to be afraid...and if you are afraid to see the poor and famished children.. well that will make you into a stronger person but don't do it now.. study first and become a doctor.. then it really will become second nature to you to help anyone who is in need... x*x

Answer 15

Well, you can think of it this way...

Use the money you're saving now for college, then once you become a doctor & make a lot of money you can go to a third world country & help out. :]

It's basically a win win situation.

Answer 16

Oh yeah.... your just horrible....<<<<sarcastic

MY WORD! You sound like the most caring person ever! You needed that money to go to college so you can be a doctor! Don't feel bad at all!!!

Answer 17

Heavens No....This is your life and you have dreams.

You focus on these.

Your Aunt  could have gone to a third word country if she had  have wanted.

Answer 18

You can help a lot more once you have a medical degree than now when all you can contribute is a strong back and a compassionate nature. Tell her you will go after you have completed your skill set.

Answer 19

Let's see, anyone answering this question from a grass hut in some underdeveloped nation? No?

Well, if you're horrible then so are we!

Of course it doesn't make you horrible.

Answer 20

Go to college first, help them out later. It's easy to still help them out even if you don't go there though. Many poor countries have people that pick up donations of clothes and such. So you'd still be helping them out if you donate..just not in person.

Answer 21

I understand wanting to be reassured that you made the right choice, but in the end, its really up to YOU to be OK with your decisions. There is a time and a place for ALL things! I believe if you went with your gut instinct and prayed about it and in your heart know you made the BEST choice for you, then you did. Dont let it rip you up, this will NOT be your only chance to do your part to help others! Every day we can make choices that better the lives of many or maybe just a few. You dont need to cross the world tomorrow to prove you love and care, you can show it EVERY day, in small and big ways. :)