Am I a shallow person?

Question

I won't date my best friend because he doesn't have the best looks in town.

I'm always worried about how I look, or at least my hair. And I seem to think big name brands are everything and cars.

Well not everything, my family comes first, but I mean idk... school wise.

I'm a straight A student so idk. School is just easy for me. I focus on other things.

I'm a really nice person from what I told. But when I look in the mirror, all I see is emptiness...

HOW can I stop being so shallow? What can I do?

I mean, I can't just STOP, but what are some steps?

I don't want to be like those girls on the TV show "Queen Bees."

Answer 1

my cousin is having the same problem right now and when i read this i almost thought it was her. i'm going to tell you what i told her. you're not shallow. the fact that you realize that you need to be physically attracted to someone to like them is just the way you are, and the way that a lot of girls are. but if you feel like you need to get past feeling shallow, i would try to think of how his personality makes up for his lack of attractiveness. if you feel empty, do things that make you feel better. try helping out a friend or volunteering somewhere or help out around the house. hopefully you won't feel so empty anymore, good luck =)

Answer 2

Seems like you know you are a shallow person.  There is another name but it means the same.  Guess the first step is to stop thinking about yourself by volunteering for tutoring students.  Helping others will be a great start than you can move on to volunteering for hospital work.  When you do these things you will be on your way to becoming beautiful not only on the outside but on the inside as well.  Good luck.  

Answer 3

Just be urself, and worring about how u look it's a girl thing that's normal I worry too and if u wear brand names thats cause u can afford it who wouldn't wear a brand clothing. I also wear brand names clothing but I don't forget where I came from cause back then my  clothes were cheap and not so cool and that's why I always and still  say to myself that the CLOTHES DON'T MAKE ME LOOK PRETTY, I MAKE THE CLOTHES LOOK PRETTY ON ME. Hope u can say that to ur self with anything that u wear or have. And u r not shallow.

Answer 4

grow up

Answer 5

Yes, you emphasize importance on materialistic things that don't matter. You obviously aren't happy and realize something is wrong, so why not talk to a counselor about it?

Answer 6

You sound like a perfectly normal teenager. There is nothing wrong with you and don't listen to anyone that tells you differently.

You can't help who you are attracted to or what you like.

You sound like a good kid and responsible. You don't sound shallow at all. Don't be so hard on yourself. As you get older things fall into place. I think the teenage years have to be the hardest part of life, you just have to make sure that you are true to yourself.

Answer 7

Yes, some of the things that matter to you, like looks and appearances, are superficial. And not dating someone who doesn't live up to your appearance standards IS shallow.

That said, I also think you may be suffering from depression. You are also a people pleaser. It is not a bad thing to volunteer, and you are young yet, so it is good that you do. HOWEVER, people that people please and cannot say NO when asked to volunteer, become overwhelmed and empty because they don't take care of themselves. It is not selfish to take care of yourself, in fact, we NEED to take care of ourselves. But if one puts the needs of everyone before themselves, you become depressed, and look for reasons why you feel the way you do.

My suggestion is to find a good therapist. You need to learn why you feel empty. Until you resolve that, you will always feel that emptiness.