Am I asking too much of my kids?

Question

I grew up a spoiled only child that never lifted a finger as far as cleaning house goes. Now I lack self-discipline. So I have been asking my oldest 2 kids, ages 7 and 5, do chores. Here is the chore list.

They do these together.

-hang their laundry in their closet. (that I already have on hangers)

-spend 15 minutes straightening their room

-set the dinner table

My oldest has 2 extra chores

-sort and put up clean spoons and forks

-make his bed when I have washed his bedding

My husband and I think this is fine. We don't yell at them when they don't do it, they just don't get any extra privileges. But my mother and a few others think its silly and we should let them be kids. I have had enough criticism over it I am starting to doubt myself. But they like to help out, and my oldest says it makes him feel like an adult. Am I asking too much of my kids?

Answer 1

no your not asking to much of them.. in fact when i was that age.. i had to do stuff like hang my clothes, clean my room, and make my bed regardless, my mom did give me $5 a week for my chores like put up the towels and set the table, and dusting....the things that contain to them like their room and their clothes should have to be done by them...no choice

Answer 2

That isn't asking too much of them for their age, particularly considering that most of it just involves taking care of their own things and making sure they are put away.

Answer 3

I agree with your mum!  Kids should be kids - it is us parents who should be doing the role of housework/cleaning not the kids, they arent kids for long, please let them enjoy it!

Answer 4

It teaches them responsibility, and you know from your own experience what can happen if everything is done for them.

The only one that I would question is 15 minutes straightening room. and my only point is does it have to be 15 mins as some times it may be finished in less time.

Your parents are probably just looking at the way you are bringing them up as wrong as it is different from the way they bought you up. Maybe you could explain to them why you are doing it. If the kids are ok with it I don't see a problem.

When they're a little older (although may work for the 7 year old now) you could introduce pocket money, and tie it to their chores. This will give them an intro for how the world works "you don't get something for nothing you have to work for it"

Answer 5

My 7yo does chores too.

He has to put his washing away (after I clean & iron it, I put them in a basket at his door way).

He needs to pick up all his toys off his floor & straighten up, so I can vacuum. Usually vacuum bedrooms, every 3 days.

He packs the dishwasher (I help too.)

He sets the table.

He will feed the dog & fish.

My 3yo

Picks up the toys in the rumpus room, every night. If he doesn't I tread on them, when I walk around!! Hurts!

Puts all his toys in his room in the toy box

Rinses the dishes

He will help me out doing the washing, by passing pegs.

My 6 month old

He has to sit there and look cute.

Couldn't careless what people thought of me! My kids helps me out, and in return they are rewarded. My 3yo started doing chores because I couldn't bend over when I was pregnant.

He doesn't mind clearing up his toys, he tells everyone he is a big boy. lol

If they are the only chores your kids have, they shouldn't be complaining. My kids  are often called out of the Rumpus room to help me do something, and they don't complain. They know that for helping mummy every week they get a special treat.

They have plenty of time to play. Everything you have mentioned takes less than 1/2 hour a day.

Answer 6

I think you are teaching them responsibility and how to pitch in as a family to get things accomplished. They are not too young and what you are asking of them is more than reasonable. It's good that you were able to learn from your upbringing and know how to differently raise your children. Kudos to you!

Answer 7

no its not like its an every day unless you change the bed every day

Answer 8

i think chores are great! my daughter is 6 and she cleans her room and will put stuff away when i ask her too, my little one is 2.5 and loves to jump in and help but sometimes just makes a bigger mess lol, but she trys and wants to be just like her big sister! i think its good for them! so as long as ur fine with it dont listen to what anyone else says! GL!!

Answer 9

No, I don't think it's too much. You aren't treating them badly when they don't do their chores either so it isn't like you are placing enormous pressure on them. The kids like it, you feel this is a valuable lesson, tell everyone to hop off if they don't like it. Just don't be crushed if they don't turn out to be self motivated - my children's father had lots of chores growing up and he sits on his butt so much I'm amazed it doesn't have bedsores! I think it has more to do with your personality and temperment than anything else. That said, everyone in the family should have some responsibilities towards making the household run smoothly.

Answer 10

I don't think that's asking to much of them considering they don't have a maid, there just picking up after them self I actually think your doing a great job they don;t have such hard chores and it will help them in their future.

Answer 11

Of course YOUR mother thinks its too much, you admitted you never lifted a finger and lack self discipline. What your kids are doing is great. You are teaching them how to take care of themselves and much more. My 6 year old son has been clean up his room and helping me with chores since he was 3. He is now to the point that his room is cleaner than the rest of the house LOL and here is the kicker.........he loves to help me clean so much that when he gets in trouble part of his punishment is he isnt allowed to help me clean. He thinks its great to vaccum, scrub floors, dust, load and unload the dishwasher...etc etc. I would like to think it would last but Im not holding my breath.

Bottom line is you are doing a great job, keep it up and forget about what your mom says.

Answer 12

no

Answer 13

you are there parents what ever yo feel is best is what you should do.  all children should have some sort of responsiblility.  if you feel like the things that you asked are too much maybe you should sit down with your oldest son and ask him what he thinks is acceptable.  find out what he thinks he should have to do and you can come to a compromise.  maybe a having them cleaning there bedroom and setting the table is enough then have a list of additional things they can do if they want something.  what i do with my nine year old is as follows:

she is responsible for cleaning her room daily, and she cleans the playroom every saturday.  she is also responsible for bringing her clothes down to be washed and emptying her trash from her bedroom every monday to go out for trash day.  she also has to read to her little brother everyday(school requires 15 minutes of reading daily so i have her read to her brother so she feels like she is helping, she wants to be his mother!).  

She really likes webkinz so if she would like to get one she has to help with dusting, putting away dishes, and folding laundry.  if she helps me all week we go and get a webkinz on the weekend.  it works really well, she has 30 now she helps out over and above what i ask of her and every weekend i'm out getting a webkinz.

My daughter is nine years old a little older than your children.  at seven i believe she only had to keep her room clean and make sure she cleaned up any mess that followed her out of her room.  it is really your decision, ten years from now you are going to have to deal with the teenagers your children have became and if you want them to have responsibilities then you should start now that way they are used to it and wont fight you about it as much.  i hope i have helped

Answer 14

Boy do I understand where you are at.  I came from the same background and I do the same with my kids.  Frankly I think I ask even more.  I don't feel it's wrong to have your kids do chores.  It teaches them responsibility.  Don't let the opinions others make you doubt yourself.  You are a good parent who is teaching their kids skills they need to learn.  Next time someone comments just look them in the face and tell them "I would prefer my kids learn how to be responsible that to be sloppy couch potatoes."

Answer 15

I think it's great. It's not like they are scrubbing and slaving away. My little boy is 4.5 and sets the dinner table and clears it (puts dishes on the counter, near the sink) every night. It makes him feel SO great about himself. He is also responsible for getting the mail. Your good-- don't worry. They still can be kids-- just with some responsibilities!!

Good for you guys! =0)

22 days to go with baby #2! YAY!

Answer 16

i think its okay maybe they shouldn't have to set the table every night. maybe two nights a week each and you do it on like fridays sats and sundays to give them a break.

and making their own bed when you wash everything, isnt that a bit too much to ask of a 5 year old? i mean i would think he would have trouble but you know besT!

Answer 17

I am Seriously Wondering with Capitals WHY you are still listening to your mom's input.

Answer 18

Your are not asking too much from your kids.It teaches kids responsibilty and I am glad your kids like to help clean!!!

Answer 19

Its good if their getting paid for it. Its like a job and teaching them responsibility, but you should pay them or give them something special. Most of my friends get $10 a week but $5 fine. I know a girl who gets $20 a week but i think thats to much...

Answer 20

Not at all, it teaches responsibility obviously, and it builds a strong family unit.  Everyone in the family should contribute.  They should have that small set of chores to do, and they can decide to do a few more for a small allowance.  At 7, I was doing way more, your kids have it easy :-)

Answer 21

I don't think so at all. I always had chores as a kid, it helped me with learing responsibility. My 4 year old helps put laundry away, staightens her room (with some complaiging) it's important to have kids help around the house. Don't worry about what others say, do what you believe to be the best for your family dynamic.

Answer 22

i don't think you are asking too much at all.  my oldest is 5, and we've recently had to get serious about his contribution to the household, for the reasons you mentioned, and also because he's perfectly capable of helping out.  we tried to give him a say in some of his chores, for instance he loves feeding and watering the cat, and he does it every day without asking, so that's one of his designated "chores" but we've also asked him to be responsible for some things that he isn't so fond of, like straightening his room.  Since he's five, we think "straightening" is kind of vague, so we're very specific, all books on the shelf, toy animals in their bins, laundry in the basket.  He is capable of doing that.

I think consistency is key, not necessarily what the chores are, or the difficulty level.  Just your kids knowing that you expect they contribute is a good start for this age.