Am I being Jealous or is he being disrespectful?

Question

I am usually pretty mellow about things..but something is bothering me. My husband checks out girls all of the time. I am a very attractive women. He doesn’t like stretch his neck or anything, but if we are in a restaurant and he sees someone of interest I guess, he doesn’t just glance…or not even a normal look. He will look at them everytime they get up/ Is this normal or is he being disrespectful?

Answer 1

Hi I think this is d**n right weird if he cannot take his eyes of this woman im sure I would say something to him and would consider him being disrespectful I guess, too right I would ask him why he keeps looking at the girl and tell him he took you to the restaurant and you didnt come here for him to look at girls, I cannot beleive your hubby does this when you are with him, yes my hubby will have the odd peek over but thats it he will only have eyes on me in conversation and wont go looking for the woman he clapped eyes on. I would deffinalty pull my hubby up about that one and tell him you think its disrespectful and that he shouldnt be doing in in your presance.  

Answer 2

That's disrespectful.  Especially if it's not just a glance.  I'm with you.  I'm really mellow too & I check out girls myself (not a L*****n - just appreciate beauty) but my husband never does.  If he does it when I'm not around I could care less because it's almost impossible for a man to go through life with blinders on.  But if he did that with me there it would be embarrassing.  Girls always know when they're being checked out.  If a guy does that to me & he's with someone else I always feel sorry for the girl & I think the guy is insensitive.  

Answer 3

It is somewhat dis-respectable, but you also have to appreciate the fact that he has the most gorgeous wife in the restaurant, and he has an eye for beauty.  I would not allow this to ruin a perfectly nice evening, I'm sure he would not mind you looking at the other good looking men in the place, he is so proud of you sitting next to him.  Good luck.

Answer 4

It's okay to look, I notice attractive people too. We are human beings. But when you stare that is disrespectful.  

Answer 5

Once is not a biggie but over and over and over it a little rude. I don't concern myself with it. Usually I'm so entertaining or our conversation is so awesome that my husband doesn't have a chance to look around the room. Or we look together and make comments. :)

Its all in how you look at it.

Together for 16, married for 11.  

Answer 6

I normal for men to act this way..we don't like it, just tell him you don't appreciate checking out other women....

Answer 7

Yeah - that is rude and disrespectful.

You need to direct his eyes back to you and ask if he likes what he sees or if he would rather be BLIND!

Answer 8

nah, it's normal....reach across and smack him on the shoulder

Answer 9

Its normal and its disrespectful at the same time.  Talk to him about it tell him how you feel...  Let him know that the attention he gives you others you would like also once in a while.  The things you need to remember is even though a man loves you and is in love you with and you are the only thing in the world he wants, he still gets bored.  Its like Rodney Carrington says "there are only so many red M&M's a man can be before he says I want a red one".

Answer 10

It's being disrespectful. It's one thing if he does this when you aren't around, which I'm sure he does. But it's another to do it so blatantly in front of you. I'm sure it's annoying to the women he's checking out. Why would an attractive woman put up with this kind of bad behavior? It's rude. Aren't you enough? Doesn't he care what you think?  

Answer 11

He is being disrespectful. He could be doing it purposely since you're attractive and he is insecure or he is just being a jerk in that department.

Answer 12

well I'm in the same thing yeah its both  i was jealous  and he was being disrespectful but i now understand  its guys nature to look but  sometimes i guess they don't mean to look but they just do  like my husband looks like sometimes his eyes are about to come out of his head lol but i get alittlel jealous but now i understand  so i try to let it be

Answer 13

well amby, men are visual creatures, with that said we do notice attractive women.... now from what i can tell from your question, in my opinion he has not taken it to that disrespectful level..but what i consider disrespectful may not be what you consider disrespectful.

when i'm out with my wife and i see an attractive woman, sometimes i will glance /look for a second or two..and on occasions she has caught me looking. but to me, i havent done anything to disrespect my wife such as making comments about someone i've noticed, or turn around and continue to look etc.

realistically speaking, there are many women i may find attractive and for my wife there are many guys she may find attractive. its what we do with the initial thought of seeing that person determines our actions...

with that said, have you shared with him that you notice him watching women and how it makes you feel?

maybe after you tell him, he will try to cut down on how long he looks or the amount of looks he takes

Answer 14

Unfortunately for him (and for me) it is both normal and disrespectful.  I have tried and tried to be more discrete, and I think I have mostly succeeded.  That's what he's got to do, make sure you are not looking at him when he wants to look at them.  If you are looking at him, he just has to do what I do and bite the bullet and refrain from looking that time.