Am I being STUPID...seriously?

Question

Here is the deal: My husband is in the military right now. His contract ends in a little less than two years. We want to have a baby soon, like next year, and then a few months later we will move back to my home town closer to family with a brand new baby. We do own a home now, so that might be a challenge trying to sell it, but we will NOT just wing it and get out of the military if we cant sell it, or if my husband can't get another job to where we are moving. Plus, I will finish school in a year or two and have my career to fall back on also if we needed to money.

Okay, there is this other military wife that is always out there to get me. I swear. Ever since I met her she is NEVER on my side about anything, and causes a lot of drama. She talks bad about everyone, and then hangs out with them the next day. Well, my only other good friend down here decided to be friends with the other again because they also had a fight a while ago. Well, now my friend is telling me all about how this other girl says she thinks we are stupid for getting out of the military. Her husband is staying in to retire and getting a pension, and then working after that. Which is fine, but I will also have an education, and my husbands working on one too. So, I see NO need for the military. PLUS, I dont want to deal with deployments when we have kids...or anytime for that matter. The feeling of knowing your husband can get blown up or very hurt and never to come back to you is NOT worth it no matter how much you pay me. (we dont get paid hardly anything anyway)!

What do you think? What should I say to this girl because she keeps asking me all these questions all the time about my husband getting a job outside of the military is an unsure thing?

oh yeah...wanted to add something. my husband will apply for jobs way before his enlistment is up. and will most likely have his associate degree in mechanical maitenance when he gets out.(he plans on getting a BS in mechanical engineering). But, if he cannot get a job we aren't going to just "get out" that would be dumb. Im just tired of this girl thinking my husband and I are so stupid...it drives me nuts!

Answer 1

Honey if she is bold enough to be all up in your business and being critical then BE BOLD BACK....the next time she is critical say "You worry about your life, I will worry about mine, okay?"

Don't answer her questions and she obviously has a problem with each and everyone.

As aggravating as it is WHO CARES what she thinks.  You will one day looks back and think......why did I care about her.  Sorta like we do now that we are out of high school and we look back and remember something someone said.  WHO CARES ITS YOUR LIFE NOT HERS!!!

Good Luck everything will work out.  :)

Answer 2

The military isn't for everyone. Just because her husband is going to stay in until he chooses to retire doesn't mean that his choice is the best option for everybody. As long as you are comfortable and confident with the decision that you and your husband have made concerning his time with the military, then it doesn't matter what this other woman thinks. If I were you, I'd just try my best to distance myself from her. From the sound of things, it doesn't matter what you say to her; nothing is going to get her to shut up.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like there are alot of variables involved with your decision.

I am an E-6 and I've been in the Air Force for about 9 years.   I've been married to the same woman for over 7 years and we have 2 beautiful children.  I can tell you that overall I am quite pleased with my decision to stay in the military.  The AF has been very good to me.  My entire family has free medical insurance which can be extremely expensive if he decides to get out of the military.  Not to mention that TRICARE pays 100% of all my families medical bills.  My wife had to Cesarean section births and we didn't pay a penny out of pocket.  My family goes to the doctor whenever they feel like it and we never worry about paying a cent.  Not to mention that I make $75K/year and I'll be able to retire in 11 years.  The Air Force has also paid for me to get 3 college degrees which is pretty cool.  Furthermore, I actually still get a large income tax return at the end of the year because of all the taxable incentives the military pay system gives me.  If I were to get out of the military today I would have to make over $100K/year in order to maintain the same lifestyle I have right now.  There are alot of hidden entitlements/benefits that you may not realize right now but I guarantee you that you'll recognize the lack thereof once you separate.

However, it is inevitable, he will have to deploy sooner or later and if you don't think you can deal with that then perhaps you should both agree on a decision that would best suit your marriage.  Every relationship is unique and for you it may be best if your husband separated from the military.  

Sit down and write out the pros/cons on a sheet of paper and make an intelligent decision.  Ask your husband to set both of you up with a Career Assistance Advisor or a Transition Assistance Officer at your base.  Every base has one.