Am I being a complete jerk to my 2 best mates? pleaseeeee CLICK HERE?

Question

I have two bestest friend. (Natalie and Jess). They are pretty, but not really as pretty me. And when 3 of there crushes asked me out they asked me to tell them the honest truth to the question 'why don't I get all the guys like you do'

I simply told them they werent as attractive as I am. It's not being mean right, just honest? they asked for my honest opinion.

So anyway Natalie isn't talking to me now. So I decided to get Jess to turn against natalie. This is fair isn't it? considoring she's a right cow.

Answer 1

I think what you told them is wrong/offensive, maybe Natalie was offended and also I think it is wrong for you to get someone to turn against her because Jess has her own mind to think even you get her against Natalie.

Answer 2

what's a right cow?

and yeah dude thats pretty mean actually...i mean you can think that. everyone has opinions. but you've gotta be nicer about saying things that could be considered mean (but also true)

Answer 3

I believe that a cow is an unattractive girl you don't like.  Your friends asked you a question.  There were other ways to put it other than telling them they aren't as attractive as you.  You could have already offered to help them with hair and make up and clothes choices sometime when they were over your place.

You said something really hurtful.  Now, you are mad enough at Natalie for being hurt that you take her not talking to you as an insult to you.  Not only that, you now call her a cow and are trying to get her (unattractive in your eyes), friend Jess not to like her, too.

If you insult someone, you can't expect them to smile and learn something from it.  An insulted person isn't going to say, "Dear best friend, I know I'm not at attractive as you.  I can tell that every time one of my crushes asks you out and ignores me.  So, dear friend, now that you have brought my unattractiveness out in the open, please, please help me be as attractive as you are."

Perhaps she doesn't want to talk to you now because her feelings are hurt and she'll forgive you sometime later if you let it alone, or even - gasp - apologize to her. But since you seem to want to be superior, go ahead and turn Jess against her and I'll bet you'll lose both your bestest friends after that.

Sometimes attractive girls like to hang with slightly unattractive ones so they get all the attention.  Is this you?  If so, why should Jess and Natalie even want to be around you.

As for the boys asking you to tell them why you think they don't get dates like you do, I find it hard to believe that a boy would even think about that.  You must be bringing it up.

Please try harder to be nicer to the people you count as your friends. You can have a girlfriend for a lifetime.  Crushes come and go.

Answer 4

I think that wasn't a very nice way of answering. I probably would've said I didnt know why guys like me more. Dont get your friends to turn on each other, it just creates a lot of drama. They could both turn on you.

Answer 5

you could've said it nicer..

thats kind of being arrogant

Answer 6

you should have put it nicely

but if she's a right cow, why do you care.

Answer 7

no its not fair. girls dont want the truth about their looks.  Youve made a huge male mistake there.  See where you have said your not as attractive as me, your friend has heard it as "youre an ugly cow" to solve the problem all you have to do is apologise but its whether you want to concede when you know your right. People dont want the truth they cant handle it =P

Answer 8

It's actually very mean to tell your best friends that they are unattractive. Just imagine how hurt they felt when they heard their close friend bash them like that.

How could you think that way? How could you compare your friends to you? How could you think that you're more attractive than them? True friends wouldn't compare and contrast. You are displaying arrogance and rudeness.

-Dee

Answer 9

It sounds to me like you are a bit into yourself more then any relationship with your friends. What happens one day when your friends so that to you? How is that going to make you feel? How about you put yourself in your friends shoes for a minute. Honesty and being rude are two different things and perhaps that was not honest at all. How are you to judge, esp your own looks. Pretty arrogant if you ask me.

Answer 10

the answer to this can be seen in two different ways either you are being a total cow to both or you are only trying to do the best .

in my opinion yes you may think you are being honest but you have to consider peoples feelings as well as for turning jess against natalie i don't think this is a good idea because jess could be playing you or she could turn around and natalie and jess will be against you my advice is to apologise to both of them before you lose both and instead of gaining friends back ,loosing friends and gaining new enemies.

Answer 11

Yes, you are being a complete jerk.

To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if Jess decides to abandon you too given y our current attitude.  Friends, generally speaking, tend not to go about putting each other down and manipulating one another.  

Just because you think you're more attractive than them doesn't mean you actually are.  Equally you will find that although confidence is a big attraction where younger guys are concerned, you will soon notice Natalie and Jess pulling your crushes as the guys mature and start to see you for what you really are.

Try apologising to Natalie for being so blunt and perhaps this can all be over and done with in a civilised manner.

Answer 12

If you want my honest opinion no-one likes to be told they're unattractive. Especially by their best friend. Natalie is reacting like any human being should.

Even if they asked for your honest opinion, you can say things in subtler, less hurtful ways.

Hope that helped answer your question.

Answer 13

So Natalie is a right cow and she's one of your "bestest" friends - doesn't quite make sense does it?  Who would want a right cow as a bestest friend and why should you be upset if a right cow won't talk to you?  If anybody is a right cow it's you for trying to turn one friend against another, namely trying to persuade Jess to reject Natalie and all because she won't talk to you.  So. to answer in all honesty your question yes, you have been a complete jerk to Natalie and Jess.

Having got those contradictions out of the way let me point out a few home truths.

Friendship is not based on trying to destroy the self-esteem of others, it is based on many principles but as you appear to be such a vain girl I doubt if you will understand them.  If you want to learn how to be a friend read my best answers on friendship, why we have them, why we need them and why we should develop them.

These three lads who asked you to go out will soon learn what you are like, manipulative and shallow being two of your characteristics. You need to change your ways and the way you treat people if you are to make and keep friends.  

If you thought anything of Natalie and Jess, you would have suggested ways in which they could have made themselves more attractive to boys.  Remember something which will serve in good stead when you are older. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, not in the person as they perceive themselves to be and it consists of a great more than physical looks - its called charisma - I'll let you look it up to find out what it means.

Friendship is based on openness, trust, giving. respect, honesty and truthfulness. It certainly is not based on hurting people's feelings which you have done so admirably.  Take note that Jess has probably realised this too.

If I were you I would put things right with Natalie and with Jess.  If you carry on the way you are you may find yourself friendless.

Time for a bit of self reflection and self analysis wouldn't  you agree?

Sorry if this answer upsets you but I have to speak as I see it.