Am I being a horrible person?

Question

I can't say I'm an angel, but the 19 years of my life have been tame, a bit timid if you will, with generally sound decisions. I'm quiet and reserved, and when I talk I'm polite.

That's been an okay existence. No senseless drama, double-dealings and all this social politics everyone seemingly chooses to deal with. I learned to cope with the loneliness by being introverted.

Fast-forward to 2008. Both parents dead. Alone, stuck in a foreign country. I see people rise from drug-addled stupor, and almost at a whim become overnight successes. I see people who smoke for 82 years outlive young adults who never touched a cigarette.

I keep asking myself: "why tip-toe through life only to safely arrive at death?"

I've been doing irresponsible things lately. Skipping work, sitting home and just writing my novels and whatever I like.

Am I being a horrible, selfish person?

Answer 1

you are not a horrible person, dont be so hard on yourself.

Answer 2

No, you are not a horrible person for wanting to get out and live a little. We're all going to die someday, and most deaths are really random from the way you live your life. Be yourself and do what makes you happy.

Answer 3

your not being a horrible person. dont let the worst of things get to you. all the temptations in the world like smoking for example will get to you but do u have the courage to say no?

Answer 4

If you think that is horrible you have not seen anything.You are not horrible.Perhaps selfish,judging by what you have written, but not horrible.You can change your selfish part by learning and solving the problems of others here.Everyone has the right to be selfish but not at the expense of others or all the time at least not a moral right.As for your loneliness i have just the place for you where you can meet like minded individuals to take away your loneliness and learn more about yourself.You can also find me there.

You seem like a IT or INTJ.A very rare personality.Around 3% of the human population has it.

http://community.ipersonic.com

Answer 5

No  but i ask why are you in a foreign country your not a horrible person but you should go to work if you need the money, you'll get fired more likely and have a hard time finding another job. I hope you feel better.  

Answer 6

No, you're not.

Sounds like you deserve a little freedom, and like you kinda said;

You only live once.

Answer 7

I don't think you are a horrible person at all.  Having lost your parents and being in a foreign country, you have had a lot to deal with already in your young life.  It is good to sit back once in awhile and treat yourself.  Being good to yourself certainly does not make you a horrible person by any means.

Enjoy your life, it already sounds like you have a good handle on things.

Answer 8

you're not a horrible person, you just seem to have lost perspective.

Sit down with yourself and evalaute your beliefs, your aims , your priorities, your morals, what is important to you in life. if required discuss it with your remaining family and friends. they sometimes know what you should do when you yourself dont.

give yourself time and space. you should be okay.

also remember that something like smoking will not help you achieve anything. it'll just spoil your health. things like that make you happy temporarily but there are so many things in life to enjoy without harming your body, etc.

take some time off to rediscover the beauty and contentment of life.

Good Luck.

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