Am I being selfish? I want kids now, I have for over 2 years, my fiance wants to wait another 2 years?

Question

He doesnt mind waiting because he already has 2 kids. I dont have any though. I have tried to get pregnant so many times before.. But I havent ever lucked out. I dont understand why he wont just let me have one

Answer 1

You don't understand why he won't just let you have one?  It's not a puppy..it's a child that you HAVE to be committed to for at least 18 years and the choice to have one is a very big decision.  Wait until you are married and settled.

Answer 2

I agree with anna. You're not being selfish, are you getting practice in with his kids? that may have to appease you until you can get him to see things your way it's not as good as havin your own but you can get vital "training" that way. Good luck.

Answer 3

no.u r not being selfish at all.u r just being a woman.he doesn't want kids right now becz he already has 2,been there don't that.probably he wants to have u all to himself for some time.man r like that sometimes.they r insecure in this case for some reason.the best thing for u to do will be have a long conversation with him,try to convince him but don't pressurize him.keep trying u will become pregnant when u r meant to.all the best to u.

Answer 4

Alot depends on your age.   If you are in your 30's, your body clock is ticking and it's quite understandable that you want to have a baby now.   If that's the case, I'd keep talking to him about falling pregnant because in 2 years it could be much harder to fall pregnant.

However, it takes both of you to be parents.    If he's not ready, then he's likely to be resentful if you fall pregnant now.     It's not like he's saying no to children altogether - he's just saying to wait.     Perhaps you could offer a compromise of waiting a year.

The only comment which makes me say, maybe you should try now is that you say you've tried to get pregnant before.     If you suspect that you have a problem which might make falling pregnant difficult, perhaps you & your fiance could talk about using natural family planning combined with barrier methods, so that your body can be free of artifical hormones and you may be able to tell why you didn't fall pregnant in the past.    That way, you can discover if anything is happening which may prevent falling pregnant, when both of you decide you are ready.   (eg irregular cycles, cycles which are too short or too long, short luteal phases, not ovulating etc)

Good luck - I hope you both are able to come to a decision which bring harmony to your relationship.