Am I being selfish or do I have a right to be annoyed with my friend?

Question

I've been best friends with 2 girls from my swim club for 3 years now, and we've always stuck together. One of them, Steph, doesn't come all the time, so it's often just me and my other best friend Claire. Recently, she's been "flirting" with a guy in our lane and when she's with him, she just completely ignores me. Before we'd have private conversations in the showers but now she's just laughing at all his jokes and blanks me. She never leaves the showers with me anymore, but stays in the showers as long as that guy does. I have no problem with her having other "friends", I'm not clingy at all, but I just feel sorta left out. My other friend Steph notices it too. Should we say something or not?

Answer 1

Its a phase and I'm sure she will quickly loose interest. If she doesn't any time soon then yeah say something. She probably has been to wrapped up with thinking of him and just hasn't noticed so would probably appreciate it if you told her

Answer 2

You and Claire should say something to Steph, who should at least pay you some attention. I know how it feels to be left out and it's really horrible sometimes! Steph obviously really likes this guy but point out to her that her friends are important too.  

Answer 3

you have the right to be annoyed because your friend shouldnt be ignoring you! alright, she's aloud to have other friends & boy mates crushes, but that doesnt mean she has the right to ignore you & your other friend!

i would get her on her own, outside of swimclub & talk to her on her own, she probably hasnt realised shes been doing this & you should bring it to her attention :)

she will probably listen & take notice but if not then i'm affraid shes not a good friend & your better off without her :/

good luck :)

Answer 4

I used to have a friend like this. We had been best friends since nursery school (20 years!!) and when she got a boyfriend she just forgets everyone. It has got to the point now where we no longer speak because she is far too busy with him to see any of her friends. My guess is Claire will end up just like this. I imagine she will come crawling back to you when things with this guy don't work out. You just have to decide whether you still want her as a friend.

Don't give up on her too easily though, you have been friends for a long time.

Answer 5

Your best friend should not be totally dismissing you because a boy walked in the room.  I would be insulted that she acts that way and I think that you should definitely mention it to her since it may not be intentional.

If she doesn't care about your feelings after you have told her then she really isn't a good friend.  On the other hand you should try to be understanding of her feelings because maybe this is the first time that she is really interested in a guy and she is feeling a bit love struck.

Definitely tell her though that way you will know where you stand!

Answer 6

You should tell her how you feel because at the moment she probably has no idea what shes doing and how its making you and her other friends feel. If she keeps on ignoring you after you've told her how you feel then you know shes not a true friend.

Answer 7

Yes! Your friend should realize that friends are more important than this guy, and you have a right to be annoyed with her! Tell her how you feel without chewing her out, and if she has a problem, it's not your fault.

Answer 8

If she is acting like this for a guy that she is just flirting with just wait till she starts to date one. Theses kind of friends are not good ones or a true friend for that matter. I went through that with a friends who I thought was my bff for five years but when she got a boyfriend she ignored me and the rest of our friends for a year but when he dumped her she tried crawling back and i haven't talked to her since.  

Answer 9

you don't have the right to be annoyed by your friends but you may also have to give a little bit of space in casc she dosent budge