Am I being selfish to have a baby alone?

Question

I'm almost 25 years old and I really, really want to have a baby. But Im single and have been for about the last 6 or 7 years.... very little dating. Haven't found the one. But I don't want to keep waiting. I don't want to be "old" when my child is graduating or getting married. Or even worse be too old to enjoy grandkids.

Is it selfish for me to have a baby alone? My baby wouldn't have a father... is that selfish? I've done all the research and Im ready to have a baby. Should I wait till I meet someone? Or is okay to do it alone?

I have enough money to raise the baby and lots of family that would be willing to help out. I know it would be hard, but I also know that it's tough raising a child with a husband. Kids aren't suppose it be easy right?

Ive talked to my family about it and they are all fine with it.

Any thoughts would be great. Thanks!!

Answer 1

I think it is fine to have a child on your own as long as you are going to be committed 100%.  You need to work twice as hard because there isn't anyone to take over when you are tired.  I have been a single mom (father choose not to be apart of our lives) since my daughter was 6 months old and it hasn't been easy all of the time, but it has been wonderful.

Answer 2

I raised my son for almost 4 years as a single mom.  Was it possible?  Yes.  Was it difficult?  Yes.  Did I have a TON of help? Yes.  However, I am married now and it is SO much easier.  My son loves doing things as a family and I can tell he is so much happier.  I honestly think choosing to have a child out of wedlock at your age is immature.  You still have 15-20 years that you can get pregnant so why rush.  Enjoy life and look for Mr. Right.  It can be difficult to date and it's even more difficult to date when a child is brought into the equation.  It is not fair for a child to be in out of out potential fathers lives.  So I suggest if you do go ahead with your plan then do not ever introduce your child to a guy unless he is the one.  I think you are not really thinking about the child's well being here but rather what you want.

Answer 3

No it isn't selfish to want a child even when you are single.  If you are stable enough financially and emotionally and want a baby then go ahead.  Your right raising kids is not easy it is full of tests but it is worth it to me.  I am a single mom because of divorce and really it doesn't bother me anymore being a single mom because i just love having my boys and really don't care if there is a man around me 24/7 or not.

Answer 4

I would wait for someone. Get out there and meet someone. It would be harder for the child to not have a father. I think you also need a husband to rely on for support. 25 years is not old and I understand where you are coming from. You could always do it on your own and then get married afterwards to someone who doesn't want to have kids but is will and totally into helping you raise yours. I really hope you have fun and good luck with a new baby when its time!

Answer 5

I say go for it as long as you are willing to take the responsibility for the baby. By the looks of the it you would be a cool mom. You will just have to explain to the baby when it asks who his dad is. Just be ready for that and have that explanation ready but u would have a while for that.

Good luck!!!!

Answer 6

Okay, so I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life or anything, and I don't doubt your abilities as a parent(sometimes being a single mother is just the right thing for a person), but I would give it a few years. You're still young. Think, even if you wait til you're thirty, the kid'll be eighteen when you're fourty-eight. A perfectly acceptable age for a parent. Even if you decide to do it now, I wouldn't call it selfish, as long as you're prepared.

Answer 7

it is a bit selfish, seeing as your still very young, but if you feel you are ready to make that sacrafice i think you should go for it. Just remember that having a child can be a deal breaker for a lot of young, single men that have never had children of their own. So what if in 3 years you meet an awesome guy, but you now have a child that you couldnt wait for, and he is put off by that fact.  Just something to think about.

Answer 8

Its fine, but it is morally wrong to get another man involved or purposely get pregnant by another man. He has every right to see that child regardless of your "plans." However if you plan to adopt, then go for it. Or artificial insemination. There is nothing selfish about caring for a child.

Answer 9

HI,

No I don't think you are being selfish at all.  It sounds as if your finantually stable, you have family support and a good head on your shoulders. I was 22 when I had my first child but I was also married.  Now a days women can and do have it all if that's what they want.  When I was pregnant so was a friend of mine.  The father lived in france and up and took off a couple of weeks before she delivered her daughter.  She's always had a good job and wanted her baby...they have done fine.  Our daughters are now 14 and my friend is very happy with her lifestyle.  it sounds like you've pretty much decided that this is what you want.  it sounds like your ready to be a Mother...it's the most precious gift in the world.....there's nothing like being a Mother...good luck sweetie..I hope you reach your desired goal....motherhood, with the support of your family...the baby will be spoiled rotten....love is grand!

Eileen

Mother of 2