Am I being too picky with my engagement ring?

Question

My fiancee and I are on a really tight budget for our wedding, he's paying for the whole wedding and honeymoon. Luckily, his family is helping us out some. His sister sells gold and she offered to buy the rings but she doesn't have that many to choose from and the ones that she DOES have, I'm not too crazy about. Here's a picture of the bridal set my fiance and I picked: http://www.oroclub.com/oro2/jewelscart2000_viewItem.asp?idProduct=5283.

I know I can't be too picky due to our circumstances but I wanted something different like this one:

http://www.ultradiamonds.com/jewelry/detail.cfm?mid=8207#

What do you think? Is the one we're getting as a gift ok?

Answer 1

if you don't want to put off your wedding until you can afford it, i'd go with the rings that your getting as a gift. you can always save up and get the ring of your dreams for an anniversary present in a few years.

Answer 2

Wedding rings are not about the style.  They are about the commitment, and family, and love, and so many other more important things.

I think letting your future sister in law do that for you would be OK, as long as it's not just a way for her to give you a cheap gift.  If you are close, having that ring on your finger will always help her feel that she is connected.  Of course, if you are close, you can also let he know of your style preferences as well.  I've never known a jeweler who did not have style options available to them.

Answer 3

I know how you feel and I know jewelry is very very personal so you can't really have the same taste as others... but it's incredibly sweet to receive this gift and personally I like the one your sister-in-law is giving you guys better. It's unique and quite different... have you thought of maybe getting it in white gold? I think it just needs to be dipped right? Ask her how it would work and see if you can just try a white gold and imagine it that way... It would look alot nicer as white gold!

Also with the setting it has, and once you have more money... your 5th anniversary? ... you can easily change the four center diamonds later on for one diamond if you felt like it...

But definitely consider white gold instead of yellow... I think it would take the antique style look out of the rings and make it very chic.

All the best :)

Answer 4

If it is free, then it is ok.  Remember that your marriage is not based on what your rings look like.  Having said that, if you aren't crazy about the ones you receive as a gift, you can always get a new set when your financial circumstances change.

Answer 5

I think if its a gift then I would accept gratefully, but if you are dead set against them then why cant you personally by your own rings ?

It seems that your fiance is paying for the whole thing so maybe your contribution should be the rings.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I do like your one much better. Maybe you should have a look at your local jewelers 1st, I'm sure you'd be able to find a ring similar to the one you like for cheaper.

The ring I had in the 1st place we only spent $300 on, but then we found so many rings almost identical in almost every price range.

=)

Congrats on the wedding.

Answer 7

Honestly, I don't like either of them, but that's because they're not to my taste. Realistically, you don't have much money, you're offered the first one, and you kinda like it, but you don't love it. Take it anyway, it's not the ring you're marrying, it's the man.

My ring has a tiny diamond that makes others look like Mount Everest, but I LOVE it, because it was chosen for me by the man I love. You've got your whole life ahead of you, and you can always replace it with your dream ring if it still bugs you in a few years time. Just consider yourself lucky that you'll HAVE a ring, because I know a few ladies who have been so hard up they haven't had one at all.

Answer 8

the one you chose is much nicer

Answer 9

This is a ring you will be wearing for the rest of your life so you want it to be something you like.

Can you get anything from that company?

http://www.oroclub.com/oro2/jewelscart20...

http://www.oroclub.com/oro2/jewelscart20...

or is she is paying, whatever her cost is, can you get it elsewhere?

Answer 10

I personally HATE the ring your sister is giving you- looks very dated.

Can you take the stones and have it reset to look more like the ring you want?  Meet somewhere in the middle?

I was very picky about my ring because I work in Fashion design and wanted something that I love that I could wear every day.  Took him 2 years to save up for it but I love my ring!  This is my ring but I have side stones on it-

http://www.tiffany.com/Engagement/Item.a...

Answer 11

Take it if it is free and then maybe in a few years when you guys have more money get a new one.

Answer 12

I agree with you about the ring choice. You're not being greedy. You may have to give up something in order to have the rings that you want. Go over your budget and make some adjustments in it. Do you  want to wear the ring that will always remind you of the one you did'nt get? Get the ring you want! Best Wishes. :-)

Answer 13

I know how you feel. I think the ring you picked out actually DOES look prettier. But I think your fiance and his family put alot of thought into your wedding. They're paying basically everything even the ring. I think you should be happy that now you got a great family and a husband like them. Hope this helped :) Also, its a free ring, ask for the one you want on your birthday or anniversary.

Answer 14

more then ok

and fact is if your thigth in money you cant really be to picky if you dont want to wait, the family is all doing you a favor by sponsoring your wedding, they are under no obligation to do so, they could let you and your husband pay the whole thing yourself, as it is it dont sound like your pitching in yourself at all...

and under such circumstances you cant really be that picky, yeah i am majorly picky about what i end up geting, afterall i will be wearing it for the rest of my life, and its going to be a symbol of our love, so i want something we both like and feel are ours

however i'll be paying my share of it

ok so your not thrilled about the rings, if you where paying and all, then you have the rigth to do as you like with your money, but your not, so if your going to accept everything as a gift then it goes on the compromise of  your say in things, because you cant expect others to pitch in all of their hard earned money to fill your dreams up, its not how it work...your an adult, you make your own money and are responsible for yourself...your not elegible for resciving anything from anyone else

truth be told unless his fam was billionairs i dont think i in good mind and with good consious could have accepted such a gift, it would make me feel lousy to take that kind of money gift from someone else. As far as the ring goes i'll only have one as will my bf and then we can custom those, where i am from its normal for both to get matching engagement rings as well, now as a personal choise i dont want to be wearing rings on both hands, so i want a ring that can be turned into wedding ring later on. And just as much my bf gave me my ring, i'd want to give him his, so i'd be paying half so that i paid for his ring as its a gift to him from me, just as much the other way around.

Answer 15

It doesn't matter what your engagement ring looks like.  What is more important is that you are in love and hopefully will be married forever.  My husband picked out my engagement ring and I didn't have any input.  I love it because it came from my husband.  Go with what you can afford.  Don't be materialistic.

Answer 16

the ones you are getting as a gift are much more beautiful than the other ones. If you are going to be so picky about this, then what does your husband have to look forward to for the next 30 or so years?

Answer 17

EDITED, because I see that you did ask people which jewelry they liked better, though I'm not sure why.  This isn't about whether or not we're happy with the rings.  We don't have to wear them:

It is really nice of your sister in law to give you your rings for free, but that doesn't mean that you're obligated to love it or to be married to the rings for the rest of your life.  

Let me ask you something.  Does your fiance agree with you?  If he does, then perhaps you guys can form a pact that this is a "starter ring" that like your other worldly possessions (including your "starter home") will be upgraded during the course of your marriage.  Then it becomes a visible symbol not only of your love, but of the progress you were able to make working together.

Answer 18

Just take the one that his sister is going to buy for you...And later on down the road get the one you really want. Remember someone else is buying it for you

Answer 19

It is ok, it is a gift. Everyone is on a budget. I have seen much plainer sets than that one. The one you picked out is 3x the cost of the first.

If you have money, offer to put money with theirs to buy a nicer set. Otherwise, smile, and when your ship comes in, you can get a new set, and save it for your daughter's wedding, and you can get a big old rock.

Answer 20

Take the rings she is offering to buy you, and later on when you can afford something you really like trade up, that way you won't be hurting her feelings , you'll have a nice set of rings, and later you'll have something you really want. And I think the rings she is giving you are really pretty.

Answer 21

I can understand how you're feeling, I think its really important to have a ring that you love.  However its a really generous gift and if you are on a tight budget you would be crazy to turn it down.  You could always change it when you have more money, sell it and buy the one you want, or get it melted down and reset in the style that prefer.  You never know, you may grow to love it.  

Answer 22

I like the first one.  It is elegant, simple, and the price is good.  Marriage is not about rings or material things.  It is about love, working together, becoming one in mind and complimenting each other in achieving goals.  You have already said you are on a tight budget.  If the rings are to be a gift to you then gracefully accept them.  If your goal is to serve Jehovah then rings are a moot point.  All he asks is that you be married legally in the eyes of the law where you reside.  Rings can be lost, stolen, replaced.  Remember, the world is passing away and so are its desires.  Make this a matter of prayer.  Ask Jehovah for guidance and direction so you can get on the right track.  I am happy you two have decided to do the right thing.    

Answer 23

I prefer the first one, the second set looks too 'busy' to me.

Answer 24

Personally i like the first one better anyway,  

Answer 25

I like this one better: http://www.ultradiamonds.com/jewelry/det...

But you shouldn't be too picky. The other one is just fine.

Answer 26

you could always choose a simple solitare and later have it put into a more elaborate setting that you love! Most jewlers have plenty of those

Answer 27

Like everyone else said, you're not marrying the ring. I understand your circumstance though, you're going to have that ring as a symbol of your love for quite a while. Since money is tight, graciously accept his sister's generous gift and then maybe for your 5 year anniversary your husband can surprise you with a ring more your style.  

Answer 28

They are both ugly in my opinion. Clusters are tacky, regardless of the design. Uggh

Answer 29

Honestly, if it were me, I would take what he already picked out and then you can always trade up later.  Get what you can afford now and as you save up money, trade in your rings.  Most places have a trade up policy, check with the jeweler.  Sometimes places will trade up even if you didn't buy the previous set there too, so there is hope.

Answer 30

Wow, how generous of her! Actually the first set is awesome and it's very classic - and very cool that there's a matching wedding band for him.

I think since you are contributing no money to the wedding, that you should be overjoyed with this!

Maybe after you are married, you will get a job and can save some money to buy yourself a different style of dress ring/bling.

Answer 31

Well my opinion is that I would take the first set and then later on you can always upgrade