Am I being too protective of my 1 year old preemie?

Question

My 1 year old daughter was born at 28 weeks and has Chronic Lung Disease. She has been off of oxygen for 6 months. She still receives synagis until the age of 2. Also, when she gets a cold, she gets severely sick and suffers from croup. We ask my family to wash their hands and please not kiss her on the lips. This weekend was my sister's daughters birthday and our daughter was running a fever of 101.5. But we had to go or everyone would have ostracized us for being too overprotective of our preemie. We asked if people could refrain from touching her and we would join the party. There were about 12 kids and their parents at the party. My sister repeatedly kissed her guests hello and then kissed our daughter smack on the lips! When I asked her to just not touch her, she huffed and puffed and claimed "your daughter is just fine". Now my entire family says it is better if we don't join any more family functions. Are we being overprotective? We hate seeing our daughter with croup.

Answer 1

Absolutely not. You're doing the right thing, you are being cautious and caring. Since the kid needs special care, they should respect it. It's rude of them to respond that way.

Answer 2

I think your family is not being understanding.  You are looking after the health of your daughter, and you should have ever right to ask them to follow certain rules.  Stick to your guns.  If they don't want you at family functions, then don't go.  Make them feel bad about the way they are treating you.  I would do the same thing in your case.  It isn't being overprotective, just smart.

Answer 3

Not at all.Always remember this is about the safety of your childs health.If they cannot understand that it is just best you not let them see your child.

Answer 4

No, you are not being overprotective, you are being a good parent.    This day and time, there are too many viruses and germs that are spread even by air that you can't be too safe when it comes to your children, especially a preemie.

People are over critical sometimes when you don't do things their way and it can be frustrating.   If an adult has never experienced croup or had a child experience croup, then they don't possibly understand how it is.  

I had persistent bronchial infections as a child and seem to have them more and more the older I get and I can still remember the good old "croup tent" that my mom would put me in.    To this day, I believe that's why I'm claustrophobic!

I'm afraid I'd not be so nice to my sister if she acted like yours did.   I'd probably tell her exactly what to kiss - LOL!!!

Take care of your little one.     You are doing what is right for her and it sounds like she's thriving, so don't worry about what others tell you.    She is your child and they are only little once.  

Good luck!

Answer 5

Hello, I am a nurse with 2 preemies that have fragile health.  You are absolutely not being too protective.  Since you have stubborn family members that aren't interested in being educated about her health I suggest withdrawing from the family.  We have had to do this too.  

Another option that is powerful and makes a strong statement is to get some brochures from her docs that will have a significant impact.  Ones like for RSV that say if you knew what RSV could do to your preemie it would take your breath away, and it goes on to list the number of deaths, hospitalizations, complications, incidence ect.

Answer 6

You are not being overprotective..

I would do the same if it was me in that situation!

I mean your kid had fever still you attended the party.. they should understand your worries and respect your feelings.

I have 2 little kids , my kids are not premies as such , they were both born betn 36 and 37th week.. but i still notice that they are less immune to sicknesses like cough and cold... so i never kiss them on the lips myself and hate it if anyone else does that!

Take care!

Answer 7

You are not being overprotective.  She was sick, and you took her anyway, so the least they could do was respect your wish to keep your child healthy and safe!  You should carry a small bottle of hand sanitizer, and just hand it to anyone approaching your daughter  :)

Answer 8

you are trying to protect your child.  If it would have been my baby, preemie or not, we would not have attended the party with my daughter having a fever.  You care about your daughter.  However, if your family is going to disrespect your wishes, they may be right in saying it's better that you don't go to family functions, but not for the reasons they think.  The health of your daughter depends on the people you are around respecting and obeying your wishes.

Good luck

Answer 9

If you think there's a chance of you being over protective, you're probably right.

I think that's a little bit extreme, but I guess I can see where you're coming from.

Tone it down a little. Your baby isn't gonna explode from getting kissed.

Answer 10

no u are not being over protective! i think i would be like that too!

Answer 11

Well, maybe you shouldn't go to these family functions if they are going to treat you and your daughter like that.

Answer 12

A baby with a 101.5 temp doesn't belong anywhere but at home.  

Your husband could have stayed home with your daughter which would have allowed you to at least appear at the party with the gift.  Then quitely said your best wishes and left.  

\Your daughter's health should come before everyone else.

Answer 13

I don't think you're being overprotective.  It's your job to protect your baby.

Answer 14

You have every right to be protective of your daughter. If someone in my family had a preemie in the senstitive condition that your daughter is in, I would be completely understanding and respect your wishes, and yet you would not be banned from family gatherings. If your family is too selfish to understand your daughter's needs, then it's better to leave them out of the equation.

I know it's not easy to let go of your family - it happened to me recently when a family member of mine betrayed the family's trust.

Best of luck and I hope your daughter's health improves.

Answer 15

You are not overprotective. Heck, you went to that party, while your daughter was feverish. - You better don't listen to that careless family of yours!

Answer 16

In my opinion, you are not being overly protective.  They are being disrespectful and punishing you for their own behaviors.

Answer 17

No your not. I myself had preemie twins. One always stayed sick like your little one. They were so sick all the time they got synagis until age 3. Which is highly unusual. My little one spent most winters in the hossy. Until I finally put my foot down and said if you are sick do not come to my house and visit. Fever, runny nose, cough, stay away. She has not had to be hospitalized for 2 years now. If she is not well do not take her to outings. Tell your family that you wished they can understand and that you are disappointed that they would rather risk her health to have their personal satisfaction. My dd would run fevers 105.4 etc. Stick to your guns. Protect your daughter. G/L

Answer 18

Tell your family that your child can get sick easily and you don't want to take the chances of loosing her!! If they can't understand then I wouldn't be visiting very much...

Answer 19

I would stay home next time.  Your doing okay.

Answer 20

I think you should do what your doctor tells you. If they say that what you are doing and asking of others is the right thing then no, of course you aren't being over protective. If the doctor doesn't think that all of that is necessary then, yes, but it's understandable why you would be. People can't understand that the baby gets sick easily? If people couldn't respect my wishes then I wouldn't care to spend time with them. You are the mother and what you say goes. You know your baby best.