Question:

Am I being unreasonable?? Mature answers only!!!

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I moved out of home 6 years ago to spread my wings and go to college etc my mum moved a 5-6hr drive away. during the last 6years she has been to visit me twice both of which were flying visits as she was passing through on her way to see her friends, i try to see her at least twice a year (its difficult for me to travel that distance due to costs) and my mum is always complaining i dont go and see her often enough and she doesnt seem to understand that its not easy for me to afford it.

it annoys me that she doesnt make the effort to come and see me.

i give her the benefit of the doubt nowadays as i'm more mature and she now has a young family but i still feel like its all a bit unfair.

Am I being unreasonable???

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  1. No honey, your not being unreasonable, I feel as though your mum is being very selfish.

    It's true what people say, you can pick your friends but not family.

    Keep your chin up honey. I hope you have a lovely day.

    Minny :-)


  2. It probably seems like a pain in the bum but she's just missing you. My boyfriend's mum is like that ALL the time. And she lives an hour's drive away. But she doesn't do it out of badness, she just feels lonely and wants to see her son. It's not easy for parents to come to terms with their children leaving the nest.

    I understand your frustration because money is tight and it's unfair that she won't come and see you.  It's unjust but often enough parents feel like it's their kids' responsibility to make the effort! Explain to her the reason you're not visiting. That you not visiting is not out of laziness but because you can't afford it. If you can't see her, maybe you can make it up by contacting her more often?

  3. why can she go see her friends and not you?

  4. No, I think you should ask her to look at it from your perspective and explain why you can't visit her more often.  

  5. I completely understand where you are coming from. No I don't think you are being unreasonable. If you can't afford it you just can't afford it. Next time she asks you about coming to visit, tell her that you can't afford it. If she can't come and see you ask her to send you a ticket. She probably will. Hope this helps.

  6. No, you are not unreasonable. Your mom should come to grips with that you're not moving back home again (parents have issues with this letting go thing). Good luck!

  7. your being unreasonable by saying mature answers only please lol

  8. No it doesn't sound as if you are, but she does sound as if she has the **** with you for moving out (perhaps the way, or manner in which you moved out?)

    Perhaps it would be better to speak to her face to face and see what she has to say when you put your point to her then decide which way to play it!

  9. No, you are not.

    It's the same way, both ways. If you bend your finances to visit her wice a year, she could do the same for you.

  10. no you are not being unreasonable at all because the cost of everything has went up. and your mother doesnt mean any harm but i guess she feels like you are much younger than she is and its easier for you to just get up and go( you know how moms are): The next time you meet you should have a schedule and a plan ready so that the visits will be evened out, and let her know that the reason you wanna do this is because you cant afford to come all the time, and she will understand.

  11. YEAH MOTHERS CAN DO THAT TO YA .....5 HR DRIVE IS REALLY NOT THAT FAR ...IF I WERE U I WOULD TRY TO THROW IN AN EXTRA VISIT ....... U KNOW MOMS AREN'T AROUND FOR EVER .....PEACE!

  12. Not really  she should be able to afford the costs  more than you  . What about  in the long summer vacation??   Also do you keep in touch,  news etc,  On line or by phone   hope so   Its unnatural for a mum not to worry or wonder how her daughter is doing  and is OK  

  13. welll, from what you've said there, no you're not. end of. well done and good on you for making the effort when you can. have you considered meeting in the middle somewhere though?

  14. ask her to send some money to you or somethink! if she want to see you or just be kind and pay it your self .
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