Am I blowing this out of proportion?

Question

Okay so here's the deal. My boyfriend was gone for a month with the navy and was a sweetheart when he left. He told me he loved me and that he'd miss me the whole nine yards. He called every chance he got while he was underway. I've been waiting all week for him to come back practically chained to my cell phone only to find out he's back in port via Facebook?! And not through a nice short message to me oh no it was a status update to the world. What the h**l? I get a call 24 hours latter saying he's got 5 minutes but he wanted to let me know that he got in and oh yeah isn't my birthday tomorrow yeah sorry won't make it 'cause of work. I get that I'm used to how crazy his schedule is but to review I got no card, no gift, no call, and not even I love you and I'm sorry I completely ignored you when I got off the boat. Nothing! I think I have a right to be pissed. Before I hear back from him what do you think?

Answer 1

Ask him what is going on.  He may have a reason you will accept.  You have to figure out if he is able and willing to give you what you want.  I had a bf who went to the air force, and when he came back from basic, he was really different.  It was as if being with just guys, doing male stuff changed his tenderness to aggression or ignoring me and finally lying about me.  Hope your scene is different.

Answer 2

I don't think you are blowing this out of proportion at all. Your boyfriend has just given you a crash course in what sort of person he is and exactly how important you are to him.

I feel bad for you. It does sound like he may have found someone else, in which case, there are three good reasons why you should be glad that YOU have found out something important about HIM:

(1) He lacks compassion (Which would have made him care about how you feel, so he would try to tell you about his defection - not caring any more - in the least painful way).

(2) He may lack a conscience (f he has been cheating on you, he does). If he found someone else, he should have broken up with you before starting anything with her--and even that would make him a bad choice as a partner. But I am only guessing that this is the reason why he is acting this way.

He lacks a spine! He ought to have been man enough to tell you it is over, instead of stringing you along in this half-baked way that is worse that admitting he has changed.

The reasons to be glad you got this "lesson" before you might have wasted more time on this loser:

A man without compassion, even if he marries you, won't care too much whenever you are sad or upset, whether he has caused it or not.

Would you really want to spend your life with someone like that?

A man without a conscience will cheat on you any time, even if you are married. I'll leave it to you to decide what else he might do that would be wrong.

And lastly, a man without a spine won't tell you the truth, however much right you have to know it. He will just feed you what he thinks you want to hear. He might not stand up for you to his family, either, if you are married and they are not treating you right.

What you do next will depend on how he acts. Some guys are bad at human relations. If he hadn't been calling you a lot while he was underway and then changed like this, I would have given him the benefit of the doubt, but something definitely seems to have changed in this case. If he goes on the way he has been since getting back, I would turn my back on him! There are plenty of great guys out there who are loyal and who would care about making you happy. You would do your best to make a guy like that happy, and he would not  treat you this cowardly and sleazy way.

Answer 3

yeah sorry,..but im afraid he's not a keeper,:-(....sure his schedule is hectic, props for being in our military, but YOU should have been his main focal point and what he was most looking FWD to seeing when he got back! Thats my opinion,....but you def deserve more! alot more,

btw Happy Belated Birthday!

Answer 4

they're just like that they don't mean to be but you'll notice after each deployment/detachment something has changed they're more serious or more loving less caring some thing it could be good or bad just go on with your life and he'll call you .... most important don't call him or text or e-mail he does have your number hopei helped you a lot

Answer 5

Sorry, but it sounds like he found someone else, otherwise he wouldn't be treating you like this.

Answer 6

The not being able to see you thing is udnerstandable.  Also, he may have slipped the message on facebook when he had quick access to a computer in an admin office yet never had a chance to use a phone.  Don't jump to conclusions.

Don't worry about the card and the gift.  He probably wants to give it to you in person and make it all special rather than Fedexing it to you.  Relax.  If he comes back and then doesn't have a gift or plans then you can continue your rampage. Until then, wait, be patience, and see how things play out before doing/saying anything harsh.  It's always best to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Answer 7

talk to him next time you have the chance, have a REALLY good talk with him. try to get the picture straight x

Answer 8

no you aren't your sooo allowed to feel like that my god if my bf did that he wouldn't hear the end of it.  im going to be honest i think he has more time doing something other than his job, and im sure thats probably crossed your mind, he's not worth the effort hun sorry i know that hurts but thats really out of order!!!  

Answer 9

Get even!

Answer 10

Yes, you are blowing this way out of proportion! I used to date a Navy man. They are very busy, and can't always do as they would like to. If you are going to date a sailor man, you will have to realize this and it will make things a lot easier for you.

Answer 11

oh honey, you should have beenhis main priorty when he got back, not his facebook friends. he may be busy or just that month he was gone got him thinking. i think you should find someone else, who really honelty will go to the end of the earth to see you on your birthday.

good luck and best wishes.