Am I conceited? How not to be?

Question

It's not overconfidence, I'm rarely too confident about anything, but I'm worried that I'm conceited. I have a few guy friends where the relationship is like I know there would never be anything between us, but a lot of times with other guys I'll find myself just automatically thinking, 'oh, he likes me.' This happened recently. This guy asked me to homecoming, but he was trying to be cute and wrote it German and I had trouble translating it and thought he was asking me out. I said no cause I don't like him like that, but it turned out he was just asking me as friends, which I only found out recently. But he acted all sad when I said no, so I was confused. Then he asked me to Sadies last week (even though girls are supposed to ask guys), and I said no again for the same reason, automatically thinking that he liked me. I even started feeling like he was kind of pathetic for not taking the hint and felt sorry for him until my friend who's known him for a long time told me he definitely

Answer 1

Conceited is where you think you are better than those around you. That is not you.  You are just confused by this guys' contradictory behavior. The guy  did like you.  That is why he asked you out.  He only said it was as friends AFTER you turned him down. If he had actually asked you out as friends, he would not have been sad when you said no. He just said  it was as friends to protect his ego. Guys often say that girls are complicated, and hard to figure out, but when it comes to guys protecting their self esteem, and or their image in front of their friends, they are just as bad.  Incidentally, when he asked you out the second time, It confirms that he does indeed, like you allot. You, however have made it clear you don't like him back. Never let a guys' behavior make you question your self image. They are generally not deserving of that much power.

Answer 2

He obviously does like you.  A fact of life: men do not talk to girls they have no interest in.  Heck, if a man doesn't like you the first time he sees you, he will almost never feel anything for you.  You've just been noticing how he's been acting toward you.  It's all just a misunderstanding.  Pull him aside, away from all witnesses and tell him what you just told everyone here.  You misunderstood his messages.  You thought he was asking you out but you're not interested in him like that.  Tell him you're sorry for confusing him but if you want to make it up to him, offer to be his date to the dance, if he still wants you to be.  If you're not interested in a relationship, stress that.  He'll most likely say yes.

And you should read "Mars and Venus on a Date" by Dr. John Grey PhD.  It saved me from all sorts of confusing guy language.  I can read my husband like a book now!

Answer 3

Twirl, you are not conceited. It's good that you are confident within yourself. But as far as this situation goes, conceited has nothing to do with it. The issue is communication. He did not write to you in your native language which is English, I suppose. So, you made an unsuccessful attempt in translating it, but that's not your fault. You just assumed that he tried to ask you out. Hey, if you  are not interested in someone, then the best answer is no. Rather then leading them on and the person will be hurt all the more. I sense you are a bright young lady, one who strives to become a better person. Twirl, you are going to be alright. Because you are thinking about not only yourself but others and that's how you avoid becoming conceited. After all, we were put on this planet to help others in some way; be it through our gifts, talents, knowledge, wisdom, etc.

Have a great day!